The 'inked hearts
by Scarlet flute
Summary: AU. Set in the 1800s. Naruto Uzumaki, an unconventional girl, dares to send a letter to one of the most richest and arrogant men in the nation on a whim. What she didn't expect was a reply and the results of her actions ruining her chances to remain an established spinster. (Regency era) (SasuFemnaru)
1. Prologue

Prologue

 _Captain Uchiha Sasuke_

 _1_ _st_ _rifle battalion_

 _Otogakure_

 _5 August 1834_

 _Dearest Sasuke_

 _This is my last letter to you. Do not worry. It is not because of any loss of affection on my part._

 _But I cannot lie to you anymore._

 _I never meant to deceive you but unknown to me, the words I wrote became flickers of fondness on their way to you. Flickers that soon morphed into flames._

 _Please come home and find me._

 _I am not who you think I am…_

 _-unsigned-_

 ** _-XXX-_**

 **A/N-** Welcome to this new fiction. It is set in the regency era and I wanted to write one for such a long time. I am so happy to have finally started. This fiction is loosely adapted from a novel that I read- Love in the afternoon by Lisa Kleypas. By all means give it a read if you want to.

Some parts of it, especially the beginning is similar to it but this is my version and it's definitely not going to be the same. I'll be using bits here and there and put my own spin to it.

I hope you guys like it.

 **Disclaimer:** Naruto and all its characters belong to their rightful owner which is, unfortunately, not me.


	2. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

'All a good letter has to do is make you feel special.' ~ _Animal Crossing: Wild World_ (Nintendo video game)

XxXx

 **July 1831**

It was on a rainy day, the kind which prompted all the families in a small village called Konohagakure, hidden in the lap of nature, to gather in the family parlor of Uzumaki household; as a means of passing time. And the Uzumaki house was famous for providing entertainment in heaps with its unconventional patriarch Minato who had adopted his wife's surname without paying a ounce of heed to the societal rules and his partner Kushina, a fiery redhead, so unlike the ladies of the manor, with a outspoken personality and a mouth that could put a butcher to shame.

Then there were the children, no less than the parents.

Uzumaki Kyuubi, a handsome young man of five and twenty, had his mother's crimson hair but his father's calm and collected personality. His eyes were an icy blue, deceptively charming but bitingly shrewd. To the people, he was everything from a delightful companion for a ride in an expensive chaise through a lush green garden to a prospective husband for their young and beautiful daughters. He was a future lord to an impressive estate, after all.

Uzumaki Naruto, an unusually attractive girl of twenty, had her father's blonde hair and bright blue eyes but was born with her mother's legendary temper. Unlike her brother, her blue eyes shone with unrestricted kindness and it wasn't only extended to _Homo sapiens_. Hers was a soul that roamed freely in the lovely grounds of Konohagakure. She found more life in the forests than in the suffocating smiles and measured talks of ballrooms. In an era, when pale women with fragile countenance were in fashion, Naruto was taller than her peers and had a slim figure without seeming frail and was blessed with lovely tanned skin. Three whiskers like marks adorned each cheek adding to her wild and exotic appearance.

To distinguish her further, she was intelligent, curious and had, in the words of nobles, several eccentricities.

So, at the mere age of twenty, our young heroine had no hopes of landing a husband. Marriage wasn't for her anyway. A husband would have only tried to subdue her and cure her various oddities.

On that fateful day, when it all started, she was sitting beside her friend, Yamanaka Ino- the celebrated beauty of Konohagakure. Ino was _conventional_ in every definition of the word; from her unblemished pale skin to her slim form. Light champagne colored hair, turquoise eyes and high cheeks only added to her cultured beauty.

"What about the fox?" Naruto asked, an excited gleam entering her eyes.

"What fox?" Ino said, raising her face from her letter- the one she had received from one of her many suitors.

"The one mentioned in your letter!"

Placing the letter on the side table, Ino raised an eyebrow. "My God, Naru! You seem more concerned over a wild fox than you have ever been over Captain Uchiha."

"He has the concern of every unmarried female in Konohagakure and the neighboring counties. I am sure he can do without mine just fine," Naruto said wryly.

"How very strange you are!" Ino chortled. "You care about a wretched jungle creature but not give a shilling for the man fighting for this country." Naruto nodded easily. It was true, anyway. Animals were much simpler, she believed. They didn't have complex thoughts or ulterior motives. They lived in the wilderness, free and unrestricted. Only one rule existed in the animal kingdom- eat or get eaten. And she told her friend so only to be interrupted in the middle with an indignant cry. "Please, Naru. I do not want another lecture on animals!"

"I will stop if you tell me about the fox."

"Here, read it for yourself," Ino said, pushing several pages in front of her.

"But I cannot!" Naruto protested, a bit loudly as a small blush covered her. "It is for you. It might contain something personal."

"If only it contained anything remotely scandalous! It's filled with war and bad news."

"Nothing ever good comes out of a war, Ino." And although defending the faceless suitor of Ino was the last thing she wished to do, she couldn't help pointing out, "You can hardly expect officer Kiamichi to be romantic when he has to be on the lookout for dangers every second of the day."

"Well, of course," Ino said, picking a plum from the table. She bit into it gracefully before speaking, "War is a morbid business. I cannot wait for it to be over. My parents say that it shall be over by the fall of next year."

"One wonders if we are under-estimating our enemies or overly estimating our own abilities," she thought aloud. "My brother thinks that the war shall continue for a long time."

"Your brother talks to you about the war?"

"Frequently," Naruto answered easily, not missing the indignant glint in her friend's eyes. "My parents discuss it with us at breakfast after finishing reading the Times."

Ino seemed at a loss for words. Everyone knew that the Uzumakis were not… civilized. It was considered hampering for a lady to read newspaper. But they not only allowed her to read, they also carried discussions with her! With a non-apparent shake of her head, Ino half-smiled, "Would you like to read the letter now?"

"Are you certain that I may?" When she received a nod, Naruto looked at the hastily scrawled words. "I will only read the part about the fox."

"As you wish."

Just as Ino had assured, the letter spoke of nothing remotely pleasant. Officer Kiamichi had described the utter desolation and destruction in which their battalion was surviving while battles surrounded them. He mentioned the fox somewhere in the middle before continuing onto his description of the horror he felt and the fear that overwhelmed him as soon as the sunset.

' _Captain Uchiha found a battered and bruised fox, lurking close to camp. Captain kept it.'_

Naruto stopped reading. A sudden and surprising sense of compassion and gratefulness rose inside her. She had never in her dreams expected Caption Sasuke Uchiha to show such act of kindness, especially not when he was surrounded by stench of death. For a few moments, she imagined him there- in the middle of war, arrogant and regal, that demeaning smirk spread on his face but never reaching his endless black eyes. It was impossible for him to have a heart.

It wasn't that she disliked the man. Nay. She was merely wary of him. He was everything she was determined to not be. He was sophisticated, born with a grace to move with elegance in the society that was fully unknown to her. He was the second son of one of the richest families in the kingdom. He had everything.

Yet, he was a rake.

She had heard several stories about him from her giggling school friends who were quite unable to quit gushing about his heavenly good looks and the endless charm he seemed to ooze out effortlessly. She had met, or rather saw, him only on one occasion. And she had been rendered speechless by the sheer physical perfection of the man. Smooth pale skin surrounded by healthy raven locks, dark eyes like the night, and aristocratic cheek bones- he stood tall and proud like a Roman God.

' _Wouldn't you agree, Miss Uzumaki?' She had snapped out of her reverie and asked, with as much dignity as she could muster, for the question to be repeated. The man, she could not recall his name, smiled. 'I was suggesting that women, if they tried, could be good with horses.'_

' _Of course, sir,' she answered eagerly. 'I can ride horses better than any man I have ever met. That is proof enough.' She missed several gasps that followed her announcement. Instead she went ahead to explain her experience with horses and many other animals she had come across._

 _She was a little far away, when she heard a man say, 'I can see why no man would have her. She is peculiar.'_

' _I find her openness charming,' another protested. 'And she isn't scared of animals.'_

' _Naturally,' came the sardonic voice of Sasuke, 'She is more suited to the wild than the civilized society.'_

From then on, Naruto had avoided him like the plague, not that he ever looked for her. He had plenty of _misses_ to keep him occupied. Last year, when Sasuke had accepted the offer to lead a regiment into the war, several hearts had been broken. She had felt nothing but amusement. He would enjoy his role of dictating others. She pitied the soldiers underneath him.

But after reading the letter, she was baffled. She pitied him. To have to answer for the death of men, who fought alongside them, must be draining.

"Oh look! The rain has stopped." Indeed it had. Grey clouds moved around steadily allowing streaks of sunlight to cut through and reach the bright green patches of earth. "I must go now. I promised to meet Mr. Akihito."

"Ino… you will write back to officer Kiamichi, right?"

"Of course not. I will not encourage him to send any more boring letters filled with complaints. I shall remain indifferent to him. Maybe that will prompt him to send something more happy next time!"

"Nothing I say shall change your mind?"

"No. And now, I must go. I am getting late." Ino gave her a smile. "I shall see you at the ball tomorrow."

Naruto frowned but said no more.

 **xXx**

Winter brought a dry spell that lasted through February. Uzumaki tenants and workers toiled day and night in the fields reaping abundant yield by the harvesting season. Then came the Spring Festival which was open to every strata of the society. People rejoiced the New Year and prayed for the war to end. Naru, just like every other member of her family, soaked in the festivities in the air and wandered through smiling and laughing at every little thing that amused her.

Towards the end of next day, she received a letter from Ino.

' _I received one more letter from officer Kiamichi. Do not ask. It is as bland as the last one. There are a few lines about your fox.'_

Incased inside the envelope was another piece of paper. She opened it quickly, searching for the mention of her fox. She was happy to note that unlike last time; quite a few lines had been used.

' _Captain Uchiha seems to be really fond of the fox. And the fox of Captain. It bites and claws everyone but him. Captain has been trying to salvage its wounds to no avail. It is a miracle that it has survived this long. It is amusing to watch the wretched beast follow captain like a dog would. I think it resonates more with captain- lonely and arrogant.'_

Many people would say that Naruto was more in sync with the happenings in the lives of wild animals than with the members of her own species. She would agree to them heartily. As she thought about that injured beast in a sea of ammunition, her heart ached. She wanted to help it. Only if her sympathy had extended to the fox; her heart swarmed with strange warmth directed towards Sasuke Uchiha. This time when she pictured him, she saw a man, away from family and his luxurious of life, thrown amidst battle; sitting alone and treating a small creature that had no need there.

She sat up straighter in her chair, conflicted and contemplating. She had no great liking for Captain Uchiha and yet he deserved a few words of comfort, even if they came from her. She sighed as an idea formulated in her head. With a determined step, she picked up a pen and a piece of paper-

How was she supposed to start?

 _Dearest Captain Uchiha?_ She wrinkled her nose in disgust. Drawing a deep breath, she began,

 _Captain Uchiha Sasuke_

 _1_ _st_ _rifle battalion_

 _4_ _th_ _division camp, Otogakure_

 _19 February 1832_

 _Captain_

 _I hope you will not be much alarmed when you get this letter and if you wish to destroy it in a fit of distaste, I implore you to read it first. If not for my sake then for the fox's. One of my friends is in correspondence with one officer of your regiment. Through his letter, I came to know about the fox._

 _From what I have acquired, it is still with you and quite aggressive. I think that it is over stimulated and scared. Foxes do not travel in packs. They hunt alone and are naturally arrogant of their skills. If you will try to dominate it, it will resist vehemently. I suggest that you let it heal by itself._

 _On a different note, the spring festival went by pleasantly. The village was dressed beautifully in the colors of the season. Flowers adorned the streets, birds chirped sweetly; children played happily- a peaceful picture until Mr. Inuzuka's prized mare escaped her stall and raced down to an open pasture where an ill-bred donkey, belonging to a farmer, seduced her. Now, it appears that the poor mare has conceived. Mr. Inuzuka is furious and demanding the farmer for a hefty compensation. The farmer, on the other hand, defends his donkey, saying that the mare had a loose virtue!_

 _It is strange. Every year the same cycle follows. Flowers bloom, crops grow, greenery spreads through the land and then the frostiness of winter takes it all away; only for the rumble of the clouds and the might of the rain to bring it all back. I find it fascinating and endearing. I like the strangeness yet the sameness of this cycle. My brother says it's because I hate change of any sort._

 _Have you ever noticed that during night when it's quiet, it is hauntingly peaceful? Everyone is asleep. No one is awake to judge your actions or your speech. It is the one time that I believe I can be just me._

 _Take care of that fox, sir. Take care of yourself too._

 _Sincerely_

 _Mitsuki Namikaze_.

Naruto put the pen and the ink aside. She had decided to put a fake sign at the end. Surely, Sasuke Uchiha wouldn't appreciate peculiar Naruto communicating with him? She had written whatever came to her mind. Her thoughts came and went, jumbled up and untamed- just like her.

Now, she only had to convince Kyuubi to carry the letter to the war-office for her.


	3. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

 _To send a letter is a good way to go somewhere without moving anything but your heart. ~Phyllis Theroux_

It was with a disappointed sigh that Miss Uzumaki put down the Sunday newspaper. She had found nothing remotely cheerful in the printed columns of Konoha Times. It seemed that the war would continue longer as neither side was ready to relent. It was a sad scenario, according to her. While they as civilians stayed safe and sound in the comforts of their homes and enjoyed the evenings engaged in small parties, war raged on bringing death and gloom to the families of those who had their sons or husbands or brothers participating in it.

Spring had come and gone. People enjoyed whatever little coolness was left in the air before blistering heat of summer would take it away. She spent most of her time wandering in the forests behind their estates. Walking aimlessly gave her a sense of independence and brought on a feeling of belonging. She was like a caged bird in the four walls of her elegant home but outside, in the woods, she was a lone creature- her own master. She found the delicate tilt of a petal more beautiful than the most expensive satin; the croaking of a frog ready for mating- alluring, the roughness of a tree's bark- powerful and wise.

She resonated with what she discovered in her directionless strolling. The whole forest seemed alive to her, all its inhabitants singing in a melodious harmony, beckoning her closer, fascinating her endlessly.

It was an indignant cry that broke her out of her reverie. Before she could react, she had a lap full of a snow colored lamb with the most curiously shaped black mark on its head. She rubbed under its ear gently, trying to calm it. "What's the matter, Juno?" she asked softly so as to not scare it furthermore. It whined nudging her neck as its legs struggled in her arms.

"Oh. There it is!" her mother called out, relief obvious in her voice. "Naruto has got her!"

Her brother came shuffling next, panting. "I told you, Naruto. The pen needed to be made taller. "

She shrugged. "Juno is too small to have leapt over it."

"No, dear. She ate through it," Kushina said, grinning. "She is a playful little thing. She butted one of the side doors open and entered the house."

Kyuubi did not seem to be amused. "Both of you are mad. God, I need a brandy." He looked about momentarily before growling. "Where the hell are all the maids?"

"Hiding, perhaps?" She offered, smiling when her brother shot her a vicious glare.

"I swear when you are off and married, I will sell all your _damned_ animals. They have been nothing but trouble. Most of them are not even picturesque!"

"You will do no such thing. When or _if_ I get married, all my animals would come with me," she told him confidently.

"No man in his right senses would want your menagerie as dowry," Kyuubi scoffed, earning a scowl from the mother and daughter. "You are capable enough on your own to drive any man insane."

"Do not talk to your sister like that, Kyuubi." Kushina took the baby sheep from her daughter's hand, smiling at her. "Naru will find a wonderful young man who will love and respect every little detail about her."

"If only such an enigma for a man existed," Naruto said slowly. There was doubt as to whether she would marry at all. She was… _different._ And none of the men she had met in her young life were able to synchronize with her natural force. Although she had found some of them appealing but their person had severely lacked the open-mindedness she desired in a life partner.

"Don't be such a hopeless prude, sis. It is no fun to rile you like this," Kyuubi said, sliding into the chair next to her. "And if you do not find a husband, there is always our local veterinarian."

"He is three and seventy and most probably deaf," Naru said wryly.

"You would hardly ever argue," Kyuubi pointed out wisely.

Kushina stood up, lamb in her hold as she moved towards the door. "Your brother is right, Naru. Not about the veterinarian. Do not lose hope yet, love. Everyone is destined to find someone or life would be unbearably long and tiring. Believe that."

"I still stand by my opinion that Dr. Mizuki would suit you perfectly."

"Bugger off, Kyuubi."

Her older brother laughed merrily, dark blue eyes crinkling in mirth. "I wish I had the time to reprimand your tongue, dear sister but I have a business to attend to."

"Found a new mistress, have you?"

"How little you think of me!" Kyuubi got to his feet gracefully, shooting her a mock glare. "I have been called to the war-office."

"Why?"

"Hang if I know," Kyuubi said with a nonchalant shrug. "Probably need my wonderful tact to lead our army to victory."

"You won't go, right?" Electric blue eyes fixed onto her and she knew that they saw the worry and concern reflected in her sky blue eyes. She really did not want her brother to go to the battlefield.

"No. I shall not."

She grinned.

-XXX-

Two days later, Mrs. Tachibana, their head maid, came running in, looking thoroughly puzzled when Naruto stopped her, asking about the cause for such rush. The old lady panted and then apologized for forgetting polite manners much to the chagrin of her lady who waved her hand in silent dismissal. Finally, she spoke, sure that she was once more prim and proper. "A coachman just delivered a letter from the war-office."

"What does it say?" Naruto asked, saying the first sensible thing that crossed her mind. A letter from war-office could mean several things. None of them pleasant.

Mrs. Tachibana looked scandalized. "I am not supposed to read anything addressed to your family, my lady. It is against every sort of ethic possible. How can you even ask me of this? The very thought is revolting. A gross violation of y"-

"To whom is it for, Mrs. Tachibana?" Naruto cut in quickly, exasperated with nonsensical ranting and curious what the letter contained.

"Your brother, milady."

Blue eyes narrowed suspiciously. Why was Kyuubi receiving letters from war-office? Had he lied to her and was secretly preparing to join in the war? She took the parchment from her maid and clutched it tightly for several odd minutes, fighting the urge to break open the seal and read what it contained. Shaking her head, she went towards her brother's study and knocked.

He was sitting by the fire, eyes fixated on some document, brows creased as if mesmerized by what it was that he found in those yellowed pages. She made her presence known by clearing her throat, enjoying the fact that proper young ladies would never resort to such methods. They would wait until someone would look their way.

"To what do I owe the pleasure, sis? Certainly not my charming company," he smirked haughtily. She rolled her eyes, again it was an action that was despised in the society but with her family, it was fine.

She held out the neatly pressed envelope forward. "This came for you in the mail. Nearly gave poor Mrs. Tachibana a stroke."

He took it, all traces of amusement gone from his face. "If you will excuse me, sis, I would like some privacy."

"Why? It's from the war-office only," she protested. "I hardly think it would contain anything remotely shameful."

"You never know, sis." He got to his feet gracefully, moving to the other side of the room. "Some privacy… please."

She nodded stiffly. "I will be just outside if y"-

"Yes, sis. Now get out."

She stomped her way up the stairs and into her chamber, furious at her elusive brother and his need to keep her out. She was only concerned for him. It was her right to worry about his well being. Kyuubi wasn't like her. He was a man who took life too easily yet was too harsh on his own self. He derived pleasure from making fun of others. He was sarcastic and cold.

She had every right to worry about him. War wasn't a place for someone like him. From what she had acquired, war would taint him, change him and probably even take him far away. She would not be able to bear losing him. He was the only man, except her father, who tolerated her presence willingly.

She smiled sadly.

She was twenty one. By the standards of society, she was too far gone. She was on the shelf; her glory days over. She had laughed and brushed it off in favor of having her freedom but these days she felt indescribably lonely. She listened to Hinata's stories of married life with wide eyes and a longing she couldn't fathom fully. Truth be told, she wanted someone to collide into her energy and create a force so strong that she would feel it to the depth of her soul. She wanted to be dominated, over whelmed and over powered and yet at the same time, feel independent.

She was well aware that it would not happen.

A sigh escaped her. It would not do her well to dwell on such depressing thoughts. She was happy just as she was, in her own world full of all kinds of species from the animal kingdom.

 **Xxx**

She was having tea when her brother entered; a frown marring his handsome features. He refused her offer of tea with a dismissive wave, sitting down in front of her. She held his gaze evenly, as he tried to extract some truth from her wordlessly. "Before I ask anything, I want reassurance that you will only speak the truth."

"What is the matter, Kyuubi?"

"Your word, sis," he continued as if she hadn't spoken at all.

She glared at him but curiosity won over. "I can count the times you've been truly serious on my hands," she said. "You have my word."

He remained silent for several moments. "What purpose did you have for writing to Captain Uchiha, under an alias nonetheless?"

"That is none of your concern," she said as dignified as possible when red flushed her cheeks.

"So you did write to him." He rubbed his forehead while she stifled a groan realizing her mistake. "Why did you"- he paused struggling to find composure- "You don't even like the man. For God's sake, Naru!"

"My likes or dislikes have nothing to do with it," she huffed, greatly annoyed.

"Then what, if may I ask, prompted you to write to him if not for the sudden love blossoming in your heart for him?"

"I am not trying to seduce him!"

"That does not answer my question."

"Why are you asking me this?" she grumbled. "How did you find out?"

"Your lover sent you an answer. That is how!"

"Oh."

"Oh? Is that all? Do you not understand the situation, Naruto?"

"He was not supposed to reply to my letter." Seeing the disbelief painted on her brother's face, she decided to explain everything. Disbelief turned into surprise which morphed into exasperation and then soft resignation.

"My God, Naru! You never cease to shock me. Only you would sympathize with a man thousands of miles away," he said. "I do not understand the need for _nom de_ _plume_ though."

"He thinks that I am peculiar and that I belong in the wild."

"Sharp man." He winced when she pinched his arm. "Damn it! Naru!" She grinned unapologetically and mischievously which made him forgive her. "Perhaps, if you behaved more like a woman he wouldn't have thought so."

"I like myself," she murmured.

"I like you too, dear," he said, sounding very much like Kushina. "Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. You are freshness of mint, the green of grass, the hoot of an owl, the flig"-

"Do shut up."

He laughed, his eyes growing warm and crinkling at the edges. "In all seriousness though, would you like me to kill him for offending you?"

"He was right," she admitted ruefully. "I am much more suited to the jungle than an elegant soirée."

"Ah. There you go ruining my fun by becoming all too gloomy, sis." He took her hand and squeezed it gently. She smiled at the gesture.

A change of topic was strictly in order. "How did you discover that I was Mitsuki?"

"No offence to your wit, sis but you left very obvious trails behind you. First being that there are no Namikazes except us and some distant relatives in the north. Secondly there is no Mitsuki in our family. Also the only one who had any connection regarding communication with the war-office had been you."

She grimaced when she realized it. "Where is the letter?"

Kyuubi became serious once again. "Would you write back?"

"If required then, yes."

"I hope you know what you are doing by continuing this correspondence." She nodded instinctively, not at all understanding the cause for such concern. He handed her letter with a small sigh. She ran to her chamber eagerly and tore it open, satisfied to find several sheets inside.

 _Miss Mitsuki Namikaze_

 _War-office_

 _Konohagakure_

 _21 March 1832_

 _Miss Namikaze_

 _When one is surrounded by countless noises of artillery and the scent of death lingers in every breath, a piece of paper would hardly cause any alarm. I assure you, madam, that your letter was far from alarming. It was a welcome relief. A respite in the quiet rigidity of this camp, far from the reaches of civilization and an ounce of peace._

 _I followed your advice diligently. It bites and scratches only occasionally or when someone particularly annoys it. You have my regiment's gratitude along with mine as well. Reading the words you wrote, I tried to put a face to you. I could not._

 _Have we met, madam? At all?_

 _I would be thoroughly disappointed if the answer is a negative. Deep down, I know it is._

The rest of the paper was empty as if the author had been called away suddenly which in his case she thought must have happened. She hurriedly pulled out the next sheet.

 _2 April 1832_

 _I am sitting under the night sky, a candle next to me, trying to think of eloquent words. I am at a total loss. Two weeks ago, we were attacked. Several of my men died in the line of fire while many were badly injured. I am declared a hero because I survived and made it far enough to make the enemies retreat. I am not a hero. I am barely even alive._

 _I dare not close my eyes for the fear of what I will see. The faces of the men I was responsible for… who trusted me. The children I orphaned… the women I made widows… the parents whose sons I snatched. But then, that is not all. I carry blood of those whom I killed with my bare hands in the name of patriotism. Families are grieving for the lives I have taken in cold blood. The smell of death… it's horrifying. The silence after one battle ends is terrifying as we trudge back to camp, looking for our comrades amongst the numerous bodies strewn haphazardly on the worn and torn ground._

 _It is hell on earth and yet I know that I've earned a place in biblical hell for the things I've done._

 _I am changing… I have changed. Gone is the once proud man and replacing him is a bitter shell of a man. I want to grieve for the ignorance I had once lived with but I do not have time. Nor is it a place for it. So I will put these feelings elsewhere and forget their very existence._

 _There is no peace for me._

 _Your letter brought a hiding place. It took me away to a safe place as you told me the most common, daily happenings. I was in a different world. In this suffocating nothingness, your ramblings became the anchor I needed._

 _Please write to me._

 _Yours truly,_

 _Sasuke Uchiha_

She re-read the letter several times, the peculiar feeling rising inside her bosom strengthened. Her heart beat irregularly as she experienced the strangest sense of familiarity and want for Sasuke Uchiha.

 **-x-x-x-x-**

A big thank you to the people who reviewed.

You were the first one to review this fiction, **Lili-P**. I am so glad you liked it. I will try my best to keep it interesting for you.

Yep, he will find out the real identity of Mitsuki but that will come much later, **Silver lining on you**. Do tell me how you find this chapter.

Thanks a bunch, **ougley**.

Hey, **AlenaPatano**. Thanks for the encouragement. Hope you enjoy this chapter!

 **And, it's 27 here. My birthday. So yay!**


	4. Chapter 3

Here's another chapter! I hope you like it. 

Read and review!

 **Chapter 3**

 _Letters are above all useful as a means of expressing the ideal self; and no other method of communication is quite so good for this purpose. In letters we can reform without practice, beg without humiliation, snip and shape embarrassing experiences to the measure of our own desires... ~Elizabeth Hardwick_

-x-x-x-

 _Captain Uchiha Sasuke_

 _1_ _st_ _rifle battalion_

 _4_ _th_ _division camp, Otogakure_

 _18 May 1832_

 _Captain_

She gazed at the salutation, disliking the formality and the distant civility it created when she was sure that they were more than just two strangers. They could be termed as… _friends_. So, she threw the parchment after crumpling it and picked up another sheet, beginning again.

 _18 May 1832_

 _Sasuke_

No. That was too informal. Someone like him would never appreciate such casual greeting. She let out a soft groan and once more started on a new sheet.

 _18 May 1832_

 _Mr. Uchiha_

 _I read about the battle at a small village near Otogakure. According to the report printed in the Konoha Times, you and some of your fellow soldiers led our side to victory. Mr. Akimichi, the reporter, went on to describe how heroically you, by yourself, took down several of those belonging to the enemy line. Though, sir, I share his esteem and I do applaud you, I wish to advice that it would not be impudent to add duck, dodge and hide behind a rock into your artillery. Recklessness will only take you so far._

 _Contrary to your assumption, sir, we have met; once. Although we have been in each other's company several times. I knew about you before I had the good fortune of making your acquaintance. In school, my friends would often talk about you. From their chatter alone, I derived that you must be the most arrogant man in the country. My opinion changed when I met you though. I realized that you were the most arrogant man in the entire world!_

 _Do not ask me why. I shan't tell._

 _I am an avid reader, sir. I know what heroes are supposed to feel like. And no. You are not a hero. When I read the words you wrote, those were not the words of a hero. No. Those were the words of a survivor. Someone who carried the immense guilt of not being able to save his comrades. Someone who was weary of the blood, sweat and death that lingered all around._

 _You are a survivor, Sasuke. Believe that!_

 _I wish I could will my pen to put down some poetic sympathies or offer better comforts to you. All I can say with certainty is that when you return you will be welcomed with open arms by the many young maidens you have yearning for your affections. If that is not sufficient encouragement then do what you must to endure. Put your feelings in a box, lock it and place it in the farthest end of your mind._

 _When you return, we will send them away together. It is a promise and I never break my promise._

 _You say that you have earned a place in hell. I do not know what to make of it. I do not believe in life after death. Nor do I wish to believe in it. But I do believe this, it's the people we surround ourselves with that make living heaven or hell._

 _It rained in Konoha yesterday. A shy spring rain that seemed like an appropriate parting gift before the scorching heat of summer takes over. The roses, daisies and daffodils are in full bloom and their pleasant aroma mixed with calm serenity of the evening sky is breathtaking as well as saddening. When I see the beautiful hues of red and orange intermixing playfully, I get reminded of a soldier sitting alone in a camp._

 _I shall not try to understand your predicament but I say this, sir, from the sincerest depths of my heart, you are not alone. You may not be the same as before but there are people, including me, who will not leave you alone._

 _Sincerely,_

 _Mitsuki Namikaze._

 _-x-x-x-_

To Naruto's disappointment, her dearest friend, Hinata, had not been able to attend the Inari festival, at the end of April to celebrate the beginning of summer, as her husband had developed a persistent cough which had made her stay at home and care for him. 'The doctor has advised uninterrupted bed rest to enhance the recovery process,' Hinata had written.

So, a week later, she went, unaccompanied, to pay her friend a visit. She took the route cutting through the woodland consisting of silver oaks and evergreens. The sunlight that peaked through the canopy provided a stark contrast against the honey colored branches. Humming silently, she enjoyed the little trills and sounds coming from the leaves.

She approached the Akasuna estates, a large house set upon high stone amongst the greenest meadows. Through the paved path, she strode towards the front when a quiet voice from behind stopped her.

"Naruto."

She turned to behold Hinata Akasuna sitting alone on a wooden bench near the side. Naruto smiled warmly, heading towards her friend.

"Oh. Hello," she began cheerfully. "I hadn't seen you in a while so I came to pay you a visit." Her smile turned into a frown when she took in her friend's appearance. Hinata was wearing a dull brown gown, her hair in a state of disarray and her light eyes were unusually quiet.

Hinata Akasuna, formerly Hyuga, had come to Konoha three years earlier as the bride of Sasori Akasuna. She was a shy, adorable person who seemed incapable of causing any being even a twinge of pain. Immediately, she had become the toast of the town, admired for her superior class and manners. They had been friends since the first time they met. Hinata was the kind of friend one looked for when they were in trouble.

The once healthy color of Hinata's complexion was bleached off. Naruto frowned in worry. "Are you fine, Hina? It's quite cold out here."

"I am fine," Hinata murmured and it concerned Naruto. Something was completely wrong. Several wordless moments later, she gave up on waiting with forced patience, her heartbeat in her throat.

"Is everything alright with your husband, Hina?" Pale fingers dug into the coarse material of the brown skirt, clenching and unclenching. Naruto put her hands atop Hinata's hands stilling them in movement. "His cough is worse?"

"The physician left earlier," Hinata replied shakily, drawing breath after breath. "He has consumption."

Naruto's hand tightened, the enormity of the situation hitting her hard. She could not begin to imagine what Hinata must be going through. Sasori Akasuna was a handsome man, helpful and caring. It had been visible to anyone and everyone the affection the couple had for one another. Sasori was a man of discretion. He seemed almost embarrassed whenever he was caught doing a good deed.

This could not have been more unfair.

"He is going to live," Naruto said eventually, trying to sound determined and reassuring.

"Only one in five people survive it," Hinata sighed dully.

"Your husband is young. He will be the one out of the five, I am sure. Do not lose hope yet."

Hinata nodded silently, lilac eyes fixed far into the distance. They both knew that consumption was a primarily potent disease, distressing the lungs, causing drastic loss of weight and fatigue. Worst of all was the consumptive cough, turning more importunate and bloody, until the lungs were finally too full for the victim to breathe any longer.

Naruto had never felt more helpless before. She wanted to make her friend feel better but could not decide on the beginning. "You are a good friend, Naru. I will need your companionship in the coming months," Hinata spoke softly.

"You have me," she whispered just as softly, the wind carrying it. A sharp blade of air whipped around them, biting at the edges. Hinata woke up from her dazed misery and stood up quickly, extending a hand.

"Let's go inside. It's almost time for Sasori's medicine."

"Of course." Naruto followed her friend in, heading towards the parlor while Hinata went towards her husband's chamber. She found the house empty of other family members who, no doubt, did not wish to stay with a patient. Poor Hinata. She had too much on her young shoulders. Hinata was only two years older and yet she had to care for a sick husband, alone.

Sometime later, a tired looking Hinata entered. "He refuses to take his medicine," she complained, a fond smile lighting her face. "He says that he is perfectly fine."

Naruto grinned indulgently. "It shows that he is willing to fight, Hina. He shall be the one out of the five." When her friend failed to respond, she continued lightly, "How is he feeling now?"

"Better," Hinata said weakly. "I have to go talk to the cook. Sasori thinks he can eat some pudding. Also he abhors the dark. Do you mind opening the curtains? I thought he might not like the sunlight." She choked on a sob. "I was wrong."

"Oh… Hina!"

Naruto moved forward to pull her friend in an embrace but Hinata shook her head, realizing Naruto's intentions.

"No," Hinata said passionately, taking several steps away. "I c-cannot lean on anyone. I will f-fall to p-pieces. I need to s-stay strong!"

And Naruto understood her.

"Thank you," Hinata sniffled, shuffling on her feet uncomfortably. "Have you heard the latest piece of news?" Naruto shook her head quickly, eager for a change of conversation. "The Uchihas are buying the neighboring estates."

"Old hag is selling it?"

Hinata smiled at the familiar address. "Do not let her hear that. She will bash your head really hard, Naru."

She huffed. "I am not scared of her."

"Of course. You are not," Hinata half smiled, glad of the diversion.

"I am not!" Naruto protested petulantly.

"I believe you," Hinata said calmly.

"Your tone tells me otherwise," she accused, crossing her arms like a small child. "Old hag does have monstrous strength, I own but I am not afraid of her even when getting my ears boxed from her did hurt." Hinata laughed. "And all I did was tell her to lay off alcohol. It is bad for someone her age to drink so much!"

"Very true but you could have refrained from pointing out her age in front of half the village."

"She is the one who should not be hiding her wrinkles!"

"Nonetheless, Naruto, she will be leaving us soon," Hinata said carefully, fully aware that despite of what she said, Naruto shared a great bond with Lady Tsunade. "You shan't have anyone to argue with anymore."

Naruto pointedly looked away. "I am hardly the argumentative kind, you know." Slim tan fingers tapped on the table for several moments. "I will pay Tsunade a visit. She needs those in her age, you know."

"Of course."

"I do hope your husband gets healthy soon, Hinata," Naruto said sincerely. "And if I could I wish"-

Hinata placed a hand over hers, stopping her. "This is what makes you a great friend, Naru." She could not respond at all. She could only provide silent comfort before she headed home. As she followed the familiar windings leading towards the Uzumaki estate, she tried to bring some order into her thoughts. Not even the cool evening breeze and the pleasant chirping in the air could put her mind to rest. There was worry in her heart.

She felt troubled for the sake of her friend who had to take care of a sick husband all alone. Delicate Hinata was too good for such unkind fate. It was cruel and horrifying that someone as nice as her would go through so much. Naruto vowed to stand true to her and stay beside Hinata at all times possible.

In the confines of her own room, she was once again occupied by the contents of her previous letter. Her fingers traced the elegantly written words on the yellow pages, silently admiring the graceful hand of the owner of that handwriting. She had never intentionally deceived anyone before and yet she could not help herself.

There was no need for her to answer. She could just let it be. Still, her heart wouldn't let her. After reading his letter, she had an overwhelming urge that he deserved a reply. He needed to know that someone cared.

And she found that she did care.

-x-x-x-

 _Miss Mitsuki Namikaze_

 _War-office_

 _Konohagakure_

 _22 July 1832_

 _Miss Namikaze_

 _Regardless of what is said in the papers, a soldier does indeed duck, dodge and run. As per your advice, I have added hide behind a rock into my arsenal with excellent results. I read your last letter more times than I can count. I have memorized the easily drawn patterns by your hand. I trace it reverently every night- the curiously shaped 'g's and the prettily dotted 'I's._

 _Your account of my general character, madam, amuses me. I know it to be true. I am not known to be humble. Yet you are the first woman to have ever been severe on me. It was refreshing._

 _We fought on the Northern port on the fourteenth of July. One of our brigades was ordered to charge into battle straight on for no comprehensible reason. They fell. Four hundred men lost in a matter of all but twenty minutes. More fighting commenced on the eighteenth of July. We went to rescue the soldiers who were in any condition to be saved. Kurama- the fox- accompanied me under a storm of shot and shell._

 _Kurama helped me identify the wounded thus aiding in saving a few lives. You have my sincerest gratitude for your advice regarding it. If not for your suggestion, I would still be fighting with it. Kurama bites much less frequently and he hardly ever goes for me._

 _It seems that everyone in the regiment has fallen for some kind of illness. Except for me. I almost feel ashamed and sometimes wonder if I should pretend to be sick just for the sake of decency. Just a small case of cold, perhaps._

 _I am glad that you did not send sympathies wrapped up in an envelope. I do not need them. They merely serve the purpose of making me sick. I am better without them but it is nice… welcoming to know that thousands of miles away, you are listening. Somehow it is more reassuring and comforting._

 _I wouldn't presume that you have free time on your hands but I will ask you to write to me again. Tell me more about you. Somehow you are more real to me than the life I am living at the very moment._

 _Ever yours,_

 _Sasuke Uchiha._

 _-x-x-x-_

 _ **Lili-P, AlenaPatano, academysscholar314** \- you guys rock! Thank you for your positive reviews._


	5. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

 _"_ _I wonder if Eve could write letters in Paradise! But, poor Eve, she had no one to write to - no one to whom to tell what Eden was, no beloved child to whom her love traveled through any or all space. Poor Eve!"_ _~Catharine M. Sedgwick_

 ** _-x-x-x-_**

 _Captain Uchiha Sasuke_

 _1_ _st_ _rifle battalion_

 _4_ _th_ _division camp, Otogakure_

 _2 August 1832_

 _Mr. Uchiha_

 _Yesterday, I read about another battle at the warfront. It was mentioned, briefly, that several officers had been injured, although managing to secure victory. No names had been used and no regiment praised. After reading that particular piece of news, I had a steady agitation collecting inside of my heart. You are one of the wounded, are you not? I am so afraid for you._

 _Since I shall have to wait for you to respond to know of your well-being, allow me to tell you about Konoha. It seems that there is general dearth of men in every ball room or so my friend says. I, on the other hand, believe that there is a general abundance of sheep in every social gathering I attend or had the misfortune of attending. I much prefer wandering in the wilderness, listening to the subtle harmonies whistling through the wind and finding nature at its best. Or sometimes at its worst._

 _The weather has been impatient and variable. It would be sunny, warm and bright and then thunderous clouds would attack the clear blue sky. Merciless rain would wash down every single being it came across._

 _I read about a tribe, Zuni, belonging to a far north- eastern country, which performs a ceremonial dance to bring forth rain and thus quench earth's thirst providing respite to all life forms. How can people dancing force the clouds to open up? It is against every scientific belief that I have come across regarding rain and its occurrence. It is a thoroughly bizarre notion but I like the uniqueness of it._

 _On that note, bizarre is such an odd sounding word, is it not? But it is one of my favorites._

 _The matter between Mr. Inuzuka and that farmer, concerning Mr. Inuzuka's prized mare, seems to be getting murkier. Both men refuse to come to an agreement. I fail to understand why? Mules are good animals. Simple and hardworking. I have asked my father to make an offer for it. One never knows when one might need a good mule._

 _A local chef, Mr. Ichiraku, has prepared a new kind of dish. He calls it 'ramen'. A concoction of a spicy, delightfully delicious broth filled with traditional ingredients and something he referred to as 'noodles' in a china bowl!_

 _At this point, I have to take a sigh. I am worried about you. I cannot help but think that something has happened to you. It is eating me inside, pondering over your well being. Reply as soon as you are well._

 _I beg you._

 _At the end of your last letter, you asked me to write about myself. I am afraid that you shall be particularly disappointed if I start listing my qualities. I have never been able to fill silence by speaking about myself. I detest the very idea. I shall let you decide. Though I will ask you to minimize anything damaging and exaggerate whatever rewarding you may come across!_

 _But I shall leave you with this. I love the smell of wet soil, after a downpour. The freshness of air in the morning and rustic fragrance of books. September, October and February are my favorite months. I absolutely adore the color orange!_

 _I hope that you are safe, Sasuke. I am wishing upon the stars and lighting a candle for you on my window._

 _Send me an answer as soon as possible._

 _Sincerely_

 _M. Namikaze._

 ** _-x-x-x-_**

Miss Uzumaki was sure that she had never once complained about the lack of company in her life. Thus, she was utterly flabbergasted when her parents informed her that they had gone ahead and hired a paid companion _for_ _her_. After further investigation, she came to know that it was all Tsunade's doing. Apparently, the girl worked for the old coot but since Tsunade was leaving soon, she suggested that the Uzumakis have her. Naruto did not particularly dislike the idea of having a companion but considering Tsunade and her issues with age, she was assured that there would be a massive catch.

Nonetheless, she went to visit Tsunade with a great deal of spirit.

Lady Tsunade was a descendent of the great Senju clan. For some reason, she had vowed never to marry and spend the rest of her life in her quaint country mansion, studying medicinal herbs. She was known far and wide for her knowledge as well as her strength. Anyone who would have look at Lady Tsunade would refuse to believe that her age was a day above thirty.

Naruto knew otherwise and also had the honor of having her ears boxed from Lady Tsunade at several occasions.

Naruto smiled gently as she ascended the stairs leading to the parlor where a maid would be awaiting with a cup of scented herbal tea. Just as she finished her first cup, Tsunade joined her. A tired smile lit her features.

"I was wondering when you would come, brat," Tsunade said, dismissing the maid with an impatient wave. "You took awfully long."

"You never told me you were selling this place, hag," she protested, wincing when the older blonde slapped the back of head. "I had to hear it from Hina."

"Good lord, child! Everyone in the village knows it!"

"I did not," she huffed childishly.

A fond grin found its way across Tsunade's lips. "Nevertheless, I am counting on you to come visit me at my new home." She breathed out a sigh. "You will like it. It's very beautifully located. Right at the edge of a brook."

"Don't go jumping into the river anytime, hag. At your age, the effects would be quite devastating." And Naruto had the delight of having of her ears boxed one last time. "Drat!" she cursed in pain. "Not so hard, hag!"

"When will you learn manners, brat?" Tsunade said with an almost growl. "You are one and twenty. For God's sake!" At last she released Naruto who glared at her fiercely.

Rubbing her ears gingerly, she muttered, "What will I do with manners? No one would have me anyway."

The annoyance and anger in golden irises turned into deep affection and compassion. Tsunade put a hand on her head like a grandmother would before imparting some words of wisdom. "Kushina told me about your inability to accept that there might someone out there for you."

"It's not that," she admitted reluctantly, fighting the urge to lay down her deepest fears in the warmth of the woman who was no less than family. "I believe that I shall be fine on my own."

"You will not be."

"You are," she retorted at once, meeting amber eyes evenly.

Tsunade smiled, patting her hair gently and then spoke softly, "Sometimes reality is not what is so easily presented." She removed her hand, leaning back as Naruto examined her words. "Humans are not designed to function alone, Naru. They work best in pairs. They need their other halves to live peacefully."

Naruto frowned. She understood what Tsunade had been telling her. It was an easy concept. Animals worked that way too. Bees lived in a colony because it was much more productive. Similarly, Zebras, deer and sheep travelled in groups to risk the chances of being hunted. Animals had mates. Yes. But as far she knew the only reason animals looked for mates was to produce more of their kind.

She wrinkled her nose.

"You have never been a romantic woman, Naru. I can bet on this mansion that you would fail to even spell the word."

"This mansion is no longer yours to gamble with," Naruto pointed out dryly.

Tsunade decided to overlook her comment. "What I am hoping to convey is that, perhaps, it's time for you to stop disregarding the world you are born in."

A confused stare was her answer.

Tsunade clenched her hands to prevent from reaching out and bashing the head of the younger woman. She forced a smile through clenched teeth. "In _far_ simpler words, it's okay to believe that a frog might just turn into your prince charming."

"Good," Naruto said sardonically. "Because all I have met so far are princes who turn into frogs."

Tsunade raised a bemused eyebrow. "Is there any winning against you?"

She let out a huff of laughter. "I do not see why you try."

Shaking her head, Tsunade allowed a reluctant grin to linger. She would miss Naruto. She had seen her grow up into a wonderful young who had an amazing intellect and love for all things living. At the same time, Tsunade had also seen Naruto become a reflection of her own younger self. Fiercely independent and courageous.

They lived in an age where women were not meant to have a will of their own. Girls were trained from a young age to be delicate and wholly dependent on the patriarch of the family for survival. A man could get away with anything but the same could not be said for a woman. A male could be as promiscuous as he desired and indulge in debauchery to his heart's content. No one would question him.

On the other hand, the loss of virtue in a woman meant endless humiliation and complete damnation.

It was a biased world they lived in.

"What kind of man would you like?" she questioned off-handedly and was much surprised when a slight flush covered Naruto's tan cheeks.

Naruto was taken aback by the question, yes. But what made her skin heat was the image that her mind conjured. A man, on the other side of the world, reading the words she wrote with a quiet reverence. She shifted her gaze uncomfortably.

"I- I do not know. I have never given it a thought," she lied weakly.

Tsunade snorted. Sometimes the younger blonde forgot how easy she was to read. It was a good opportunity to tease her but Tsunade let it slip anyway. "If you say so," she remarked easily. "You said that you met Hinata earlier. How is she?"

Naruto saddened immediately. "She is holding on."

"Hm. What of her husband?"

"He has consumption."Naruto turned to her with pitiful blue eyes. "I heard him coughing, Tsunade. The sound was so raw and painful. It must be agonizing for him."

"I will go pay them a visit soon."

Naruto nodded thoughtfully. Tsunade would have an idea on how to proceed with Sasori's treatment. She was a gifted healer. "Hinata is taking care of Sasori. All alone. Their family is gone."

"It is not surprising." Before Naruto could argue, Tsunade cut in, "Their match was not favored by either side of the family. Also, even after three years of marriage, Hinata has been unable to conceive."

"Women are not at fault always; it has been proved!"

Again, Tsunade was struck by the naivety of her guest. "Women have always been blamed in matters related to infertility, Naru. It's the bitter truth."

"But it's unfair!"

"So I am aware. No need to lose your composure, brat."

The stern, soothing voice calmed her instantly. "I should go," she murmured, standing up. "It's getting late. I will come to see you off when you leave, hag."

"Learn some respect by then, brat."

Naruto grinned. "Keep hoping, coot."

Tsunade cuffed her unkindly. "Give my regards to your parents. Tell Kyuubi to visit me."

"Yes! Yes! Now… let go of me!

 **-x-x-x-**

Naruto could not say that she was surprised when, a few days later, her paid companion, Sakura Haruno, arrived. They were collected in the garden, having their late evening tea when a maid brought in Sakura.

Sakura was a stern looking woman, probably only a year or two older than Naruto herself, with mousy auburn hair pulled back in a tight bun. A pair of glasses rested on her small, sharp nose while her mouth was pressed invariably in a strict hyphen. She was shorter than Naruto and frail looking as if a mere whiff of wind might blow her away. The muslin gown she wore was a very dull shade of brown. Her posture was stiff, straight and serious.

Naruto decided that she liked her new companion. Despite her grave exterior, Sakura was soft-spoken and kind to everyone in the Uzumaki household. Except Kyuubi.

Sakura and Kyuubi clashed the moment they set eyes upon each other. They found qualities to dislike in the other in less than a minute and were found exchanging insults in rapid succession. Naruto had to cover her mouth to stifle her snickers. Her brother was one who didn't lose calm easily. Yet, here was Sakura who took less than a minute to crack his cold composure.

The sweet fragrance of Kushina's apothecary roses filled the air as the sky darkened. Against that pretty backdrop, the new governess and Kyuubi squared off.

"I despise you," Sakura hissed vehemently.

Kyuubi sent her a mock smile. "You hardly know me, Haruno. You should despise me when you get to know me." Her eyes narrowed dangerously and she took a step forward as if to slap him. His smirk only goaded her more.

"Devil take you!" she snapped in a soft, harsh voice.

"In case you have not noticed, Haruno, other servants don't curse their masters. So, if yo"-

"You are not my master!" Sakura snarled, pale skin flushing red due to anger. Amused, Naruto glanced at her brother to gauge his reaction and was surprised to notice a strange animalistic glint in wintry blue eyes.

Before Kyuubi could retort, Minato interrupted good-naturedly, "Settle your feathers. Both of you." Immediately, Sakura mumbled out a sincere apology. Kushina brushed it aside with a warm smile.

"Oh. Do not worry, dear," Kushina had said. "Arguments are an integral part of this family."

Naruto could not help adding, "Also it's been a long time since someone has tried setting Kyuubi back on his heels."

"What can I say?" Kyuubi grinned airily. "I am quite brilliant."

"And an airhead," his sister chimed in cheekily. Sakura stared at the family, surprised and content. She had heard about the Uzumakis and their unconventional style of living. So when Tsunade had told her that she would have to move in with them, she had been wary. Yet after meeting them, she felt a sense of tranquility and belonging settle over her.

"I have always wanted a family governess to harass." If only Kyuubi excited the same emotions in her. He was everything she was terrified of in a man.

"I find no cause for amusement in your comment," she sniffed irritably.

"I doubt you find cause for humor in much of anything."

Those icy blue eyes, sparkled like the rarest, most precious diamonds and she was dazed momentarily when their gazes locked. The moment did not last as he turned to his sister. She shook her head slightly. It would not do to remain unfocused.

"You should go and settle in, Miss Haruno," Kushina suggested, her tone leaving no room for argument even though her eyes remained kind. "You have to be tired."

She nodded hesitantly and was grateful when a maid came running in to lead her to her chamber. As she was about to leave, she heard Kyuubi say, "Wait 'til she sees your small zoo, sis, she will run for the hills."

Zoo?

 **-x-x-x-**

 _Miss Mitsuki Namikaze_

 _War-office_

 _Konohagakure_

 _4 November 1832_

 _Miss Namikaze_

 _Your agitation is justified, I am afraid. I was indeed among the injured. How did you guess? There were much more harsher damages worth reporting over the gunshot that I survived. A bullet straight through my right shoulder. Initially, I could not move my shoulder without doubling over in pain. A few days later, it was as good as new._

 _Sometimes, it twinges a little as if to remind me of the gaping hole that it had endured._

 _Due to a storm that hit the shores about a month ago, we had to move from our current base. Unfortunately, we lost most of our winter supplies to the raging winds and the thunderous downpour. Fortunately, everyone made out alive. We have written to the war-office to refresh what we had to lose. We are still awaiting a response._

 _In case you are wondering, the letter, addressed to the war-office, was sent approximately three weeks ago._

 _It's starting to get bitterly cold here. Kurama has become my surly bedfellow. He whines all the time in hunger and despair._

 _Have you heard of the legend of the Rain queen, Modjadji? She is the hereditary queen of Balobedu, a country in the south. It is believed that the queen possesses magic. Every year, in the driest months, people would sacrifice their daughters to the service of the queen, in order to appease her. The queen would then marry the young girls (they would serve as her attendings later on). The pleased queen would then make the skies roar and bring rain._

 _I have always liked unusual words. Here's one for you- 'niggardly' which means not generous, mean. Or 'prerogative', a privilege. I agree heartily with your views regarding the mule but it's hard to convince others. People can be extremely 'mulish.'_

 _I hope that you were speaking figuratively when you mentioned meeting several sheep in your social events._

 _It will be a while before I taste Ramen but I look forward to it._

 _I do not think that it is possible for me to dislike you in any way possible. Would it be impudent of me to say that you fascinate me endlessly? Every word you write, it fills me with wonderment. The ease with which your hands gracefully tapers over the paper, creating letters, forming sentences that take me away from this land of desolation… captivates me._

 _You are like coming up for fresh air after being locked up in a cage._

 _From what little you have divulged, I feel endlessly intrigued. I want to know more about you. Why do you beguile me so?_

 _Tell me, are you spoken for?_

 _You are my only anchor to sanity. To real world._

 _So tell me, are you spoken for?_

 _Ever yours_

 _S. Uchiha._

 ** _-x-x-x-x-_**

Thanks for such a lovely review, **Agranor21.** Let me know how you liked this chapter.

For some reason, I love the idea of Sasohina, **AlenaPatano**. It's sort of weird because both of them don't meet even once in the manga. That sickness won't really play any part. You flatter me! Seriously, you do. Thank you so much for showing so much love and appreciation. Share your thoughts with me on this chapter too.

To **Thank You** , your review made me so happy. I'm glad you like this fic. Do review!

 **-x-x-x-**

 _ **Do tell me your thoughts on this chapter. Review! I look forward to them.**_


	6. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

 _But it was your letter within, dear heart, my first love letter, and sweeter to me than the subtlest love-lyric Sappho ever penned in Aeolic gold._ ~Byron Caldwell Smith, letter to Kate Stephens

 **-x-x-x-x-**

 _Captain Uchiha Sasuke_

 _1_ _st_ _rifle battalion_

 _4_ _th_ _division camp, Otogakure_

 _8 December 1832_

 _Mr. Uchiha_

 _I feel as if I do not say it enough- do have a care for your own safety. Just this morning, my father happened to mention that you were, yet again, involved in some more heroics. Why do you endanger yourself so? The ordinary duty of a soldier is dangerous enough without you tempting fate._

 _If not for yourself, then accept it as my selfish request._

 _We have started decorating for Christmas. The season of festivities is here in all its glory. Despite the cool winter wind, biting and clawing, there is an abundance of warmth wherever I go. The air smells of plum pudding and the sweetest biscuits and bread. My family is preparing for the annual Christmas ball held at our Georgian style ballroom. It is an affair attended by almost everyone living in the vicinity of our estates and beyond. And although I abhor the idea of standing and making polite conversations, I like this one event held in the four walls of my own home. There is comfort in the known, is not there?_

 _I have enclosed a card designed by a local artist along with this letter. I hope it reaches you before Christmas._

 _I was so absolutely riveted by the legend of Modjadji that I looked for more information about her in my father's library. What I discovered appalled me immeasurably. How could a man rape his own daughter, in order to please the Gods, in hopes that rain may bless his kingdom at last? One very illustrious author called his actions the 'result of a very acute desperation stemming from the need to protect his people.'_

 _Still it fails to justify the horror of his doing._

 _I like 'niggardly.' I have decided to use it in daily conversations whenever I can!_

 _And I do hope your regiment has received all the winter supplies that were lost. I cannot begin to imagine how you must be surviving in such harsh weather without a roof over your heads. War-office is not particularly known for its promptness, as was mentioned in Konoha Times, few weeks ago, and it annoyed me so much that I wanted to stomp into the building and demand that they do their duty._

 _Neglecting one's responsibilities is niggardly!_

 _My new companion stopped me though. The footsteps of a woman must never make a noise even if she were upset, she said to me. Stomping is for men, who do not know any better. Females must forever be delicate and decidedly feminine._

 _Bless her soul._

 _You flatter me without reason, sir. I have never been admired for my hand or my diction. On the contrary, I was often told that I lacked the elegance and gentility that a female must possess while composing her thoughts. Nevertheless, your appreciation sent my heart fluttering like the wings of a curious butterfly ready for its first flight._

 _No, sir. I am not spoken for. Why would you ask me so?_

 _It's such a strange question. Are you spoken for? It almost sounds like- are you chained to someone? No, sir. I am as free as a bird._

 _But then birds can also be caged. Can they not?_

 _Sincerely_

 _M. Namikaze_

 **-x-x-x-x-**

 _So, tell me are you spoken for?_

What could he mean by asking her this with such brazen frankness? It was a question that kept Miss Uzumaki contemplating for several days. Much to her chagrin, she failed to find out any lucid _raison d'être_. At first she assumed that he might have asked to reassure himself. It was not considered proper or _right_ for an unmarried woman to correspond with any man excluding her father, brother and betrothed.

And yet here was a woman, he knew scarcely about, who replied to his letters with an eagerness that would have surely shocked him, had he known. Before she could continue that chain of thoughts, she felt every bit of air knocked out of her.

"I can't breathe!" Naruto protested, heaving a bit, when the blasted woman tightened the strings more. "You are not considering killing me just for a narrower waist, are you?"

"It is in the fashion, Miss Uzumaki," Mrs. Tachibana replied, exasperation lacing her tone. "You have to look your absolute best tonight. It is your duty as the hostess." She giggled, pulling the strings even more, a feat Naruto had considered impossible. "How else would you get yourself a husband?"

Naruto stifled a groan. "I am sure that a tiny waist is all I have ever needed to have men lining outside my window." She hung her head low when air was pushed out of her body once more. "How utterly foolish of me! You should have enlightened me sooner, Mrs. Tachibana." Her sarcasm, unfortunately, was lost upon the simple woman and she felt angry for using it with her maid. Mrs. Tachibana did not deserve such treatment. Yes, the woman chattered too much and too incessantly about her marriage. Still, she cared for her.

"You are too independent, Miss Uzumaki," Mrs. Tachibana said suddenly. The fingers on her back retreated and she relaxed, giving her maid ample time to explain what was already known to her. "It worries me."

Surprised, she asked, "How so?"

"Hold still, Miss Uzumaki." The fingers returned with a vengeance.

Naruto tried to obey despite the pressure on her lungs. Good Lord, how was she supposed to breathe with such a tight corset? If she fainted or better yet died due to lack of air, only because of a new trend, she would never find peace in the afterlife, she was absolutely sure.

"Forgive me, Miss Uzumaki, for being impertinent but I cannot refrain any longer. You are two and twenty- much more than the respectable marriageable age for young women."

"So I have heard," she said wryly, adjusting her posture when Mrs. Tachibana moved to dress her in an emerald gown. A gift from her mother. Beautiful satin lined by gold and silver. She flushed when the deep cut bodice settled over her chest. It was too low. Scandalously so. Surely, her mother would not want her to wear something like that just to gain a son-in-law?

"You are a pretty girl. The smartest lass I know," Mrs. Tachibana said, something akin to admonishment settling deep in her voice. "You also have a considerable dowry. There is no reason that you should not be off and done with." Naruto knew what was coming; she had heard it several times. "If only you would lose your _habitual_ tendencies _,_ no man in his right mind would be able to resist you, Miss Uzumaki."

She did what she was used to doing in such situations. She gave the older woman a tight smile and a short nod.

"It is only your luck that one of the most eligible bachelors of the nation is coming to the ball. It's such an opportunity for you. A few sweet words and he shall be wrapped around your fingers!"

She grimaced at the thought, getting up gratefully when a knock announced her brother. When the door opened, she saw Kyuubi frown dangerously. "Good God! Tell me there is more to your attire, Naru."

She held back a grin. "All in the hope that this outrageous display of cleavage seduces an unsuspecting man into asking for my hand."

Kyuubi chuckled. "Thus, saving him the horror of really getting to know you. Splendid idea, I must say." He winced slightly when she slapped his arm, blue eyes twinkling mischievously. He, however, grew serious. "Are you sure you do not want a shawl… or perhaps a curtain?"

She could not stop the grin that surfaced. "You are such a niggardly brother!"

"I was not aware that you knew words not directly concerned with animal kingdom."

"Bugger you, Kyuubi."

He laughed, holding out his arm and escorted her downstairs to the door of the ballroom where Sakura awaited them. As usual Sakura wore a dark color, her red curls held too tightly in a bun. "Haruno."

Sakura threw him a nasty glare, like he was the worst kind of scum. As soon as her gaze landed on her charge, green eyes softened immeasurably. "You look beautiful, Naru."

"Thank you, Sakura. So do you."

Her brother released a huff of annoyance. "No need to lie, sis. I am sure Haruno knows of her accomplishments well enough without you painting a colorful picture."

Before she could set her brother straight, Sakura interrupted, "I am proud of who I am, _my lord_." Only she could reduce the respectful label to mockery and derision. "You are the last person to remark on anyone else's character."

"What have I done to deserve such scolding?"

"One cannot help but hear scores of your rendezvous with many a young women, my lord. You have built yourself quite a reputation," she said angrily. "And not the pleasant kind too."

Kyuubi smirked. "Everyone requires a reason to be proud of."

The comment seemed to incense her beyond anything else. "You are proud of it?" she hissed, disgust clear in her features.

"Well, of course. Good reputation- one has to do nothing to earn it. Bad reputation- well, that requires some effort."

"I can see now why no woman would have you," she snapped, glaring behind her round spectacles. "You are not worth a woman's affect"-

"That's quite enough, Sakura," Naruto cut in, when fingers dug into her satin covered arm. She placed a calming hand on her brother, wishing that he would not begin dwelling on the past. On _her_.

Her companion nodded almost automatically, turning on her heel. They entered together, smiling politely at anyone who happened to look their way.

"Look at all these people- dignified and polite," Kyuubi said a while later, observing the crowd. "I should not stay long. Someone might influence me."

She rolled her eyes. "You promised that you would stay. At least for the first set." Then, as an afterthought, she added, "You are the only dance partner that I might have tonight."

"You give yourself too little credit, sis. Any man who refuses to accept you as you are does not deserve a minute of your attention." His gaze swept around the room and he remarked sardonically, "Considering the number of glances your bosom has stolen since you have stepped inside, suffice to say, you will be dancing this whole Christmas away."

She huffed petulantly and let out an exasperated sigh. "I despise this."

He smiled gently, the one only reserved for his family. "As do I. If it was not for mother, I would have you covered in drapes. She has even managed to restrain father from causing a scene."

She laughed, knowing just how persuasive and scary Kushina Uzumaki could be.

-x-x-x-x-

Naruto wished that she could disappear. Her brother was right. Any man who happened to pass by her- his eyes would slide downwards, to her chest. It was a mortifying experience every single time it happened. Initially, her brother had glared dangerously at anyone who dared to linger. Her father had soon joined in; both acting as the protectors of her _chastity_ until Kushina dragged the two away. Her only respite was the hall decked with holly and mistletoe. The delicate redwood fragrance coming from the fireplace, filling the chilled air with a blast of heat.

She released a repressed sigh. Hinata, her closest friend, had not been able to come. Her husband, Sasori, was still not recovered from consumption. According to some physicians, he should not have been able to survive for such a long period of time. It was a miracle. Yet, it was not one. He was alive, yes, but he was far from healthy. And it took every pint of strength that Hina possessed to care for him.

"Miss Uzumaki?"

"Naruto!"

A hand landed on her shoulder making her turn around almost viciously, taken aback by the sudden touch. Her mother stood, smiling joyously, next to a man. The man, in turn, took Naruto's breath away. Only one thought crossed her mind as she recognized the handsome features.

 _Sasuke._

For a minute or two, she felt horribly exposed, open and vulnerable. A swift throbbing awakened in her throat, wrists and the back of her knees.

Thankfully, Sakura noticed the lapse in her composure. A glass of wine later, she could focus more clearly and decided that although the man looked like Sasuke; he was not Sasuke. The face was more experienced and slightly more aged. "Are you quite alright, Naru?" Kushina asked softly.

"I feel like a salmon," she answered, without much thinking of their company. "One that has been boiled, shredded and potted."

The corners of his lips twitched in amusement. He was an exceptionally handsome man, she noticed. Dark eyes and dark hair framing a perfectly structured face. "Itachi Uchiha at your service, Miss Uzumaki," he introduced smoothly, bowing slightly. His voice was like him- polished and cultured. Self-assured.

Blue eyes widened. _Uchiha_. A thousand thoughts raced through her head simultaneously, colliding and vaporizing. Trembling hands clenched at her sides, she stuttered, "It is good to finally be able put a face to 'one of the most eligible bachelors of this nation.'"

"Hn." A smirk came to play on his lips while her mother's admonishing cry was ignored effectively by her.

A few silent seconds later, she ventured cautiously, "How is your younger brother? I hear that he is away on the war-field."

"Quite well. Thank you."

She could not quench the thirst to hear more about Sasuke. So, she prodded further tactlessly, "Poor him… so far away. It must be difficult on your family."

Itachi, however, did not delve any deeper. He merely nodded, conversed politely with Kushina and then took his leave. "He is an interesting young man," Kushina noted, staring at his receding back thoughtfully. Once she could see him no longer, she turned to Naruto with a sly grin. "You have to marry him, Naru!"

 **-x-x-x-x-**

Sakura refused to acknowledge the fact that she had seen him; the very man who had ruined everything once for her. Spotting his face in a sea of people, she had turned bone-white. Every muscle of her body screaming at her to fight the nightmares and run at her fastest because once he caught sight of her and _God_ _forbid_ , recognized her- the life she had built would be over.

She began running away from him as fast as she could.

"There you are, Haruno. I was telling Miss Yamanaka here an amus"- Strong arms caught her and she inhaled the subtle sandalwood scent mixed with starch and linen. She was trembling furiously. Fingers clenching and unclenching. Teeth clattering. Panic struck her full-scale. What if Kyuubi found out? What if he threw her out? "Christ, Haruno, I have never seen you so shaken by my good looks before." Something in her eyes must have reached him because he whispered gently, almost like he cared, "What is it?"

She fought for composure and lost miserably. Shaking her head, she tried to move past him but he would not let her. Instead, he grabbed her arm, leading her towards the large window opening into their garden. Once in the wintry air outside, he let go of her arm but kept a steady hold on her.

"Breathe, Haruno. It's good for your body."

Quickly, she obeyed, inhaling and exhaling in rapid successions. Sometime later, she calmed down, her senses returning to her. She hated _this_. This control that the man had over her like she was some kind of a toy he could deign to play with whenever he wished to. It was degrading.

She knew that Kyuubi must be waiting for some answers. She was grateful that he had stayed beside her. His warmth and kindness was most welcome. If only she could muster the courage to share the past. She only wished to forget it. It was not worth reminiscing even in death. "This never happened," she said briskly.

To her surprise, he nodded.

 **-x-x-x-x-**

 _Konohagakure_

 _18 January 1833_

 _Miss Namikaze_

 _I do hope that your Christmas was splendid. Thank you for the card- it reached me on 24_ _th_ _of December. The quickest one by far. It was passed among all my men, most of them having never seen one earlier, before it reached me. I have placed it in a small box, I like to call Pandora, which houses all of your letters, a few things my brother sent and a family heirloom I carry around for good luck._

 _I cannot help but agree fully with the description, printed in Konoha Times, regarding War-office. Considering that we are still short of supplies in the middle of a freezing winter only worsens my opinion._

 _I can assure you, madam, that had you stomped your way into the War-office, the clerks would not have cared one bit for the loudness of your steps. Contrarily, they would have, most definitely, shed their characteristic laziness to listen to you._

 _Incidentally, that was not the correct use of the word 'niggardly.'_

 _Thank you for worrying for my well-being, Miss Namikaze. I cannot make you understand how different it is during a war; unless you experience it yourself. And I had rather you not see such horrors that would make your skin crawl. Any day we end without losing one of our own, we rejoice. Here every breath is one of wariness. A blink and you could be gone. Just like that._

 _As a captain, it is my duty to care for the safety of my company. Just as it is my responsibility to bear the guilt of their deaths on the battlefront._

 _When I first read your letter, I wondered if it was your humility that made you reject all my commendations. Then, I recalled that your words never boast of humility. Your writing is not outright graceful or womanly but it is lively and full of spirit, which is more than what most people have in general._

 _As I am writing this, Kurama is nudging my leg; no doubt hungry. Kurama has become indispensable here. He carries messages under fire and runs faster than any man on board. He is also an excellent scout. He has taught me a very important lesson- any food is fair game unless it has been swallowed by someone else._

 _A lesson I was wary to overlook for a long time._

 _Sometimes I wonder why this wretched beast won't run away. It would be plenty more happy among its own kind in the wilderness._

 _I would have to disagree, madam. Believe it or not, there are people who prefer to be 'chained' to each other for eternity. In my own regiment, I regularly see grown up men crying over letters and tokens of affection from their beloved. Sometimes real freedom is not in being the sole master of your thoughts. Sometimes freedom lies in sharing yourself with another. It depends on how you look at it._

 _It is in human nature to possess what fascinates them or what they come to admire. It is not a trait to boast about._

 _As to why I asked that particular question,_ _I was merely curious._

 _Ever yours_

 _S. Uchiha._

 **-x-x-x-x-**

 **A/N:** A massive thank you to the wonderful people who left their thoughts behind in the review section or fav'd or followed this story. I wish I could reply to each one of you but I am running short on time.

 **Lady Rurouni, SunlitSky21, thinks-too-hard, TheBeauty, AlenaPatano, ar111, punklena, LyKatherine Adhara, Maj-chan, Anonymous, Skirret, grule92, HRHPrincessTricia.**

Your review made me think, **SunlitSky21**. Because in a way you are right. But then I thought some more and I got my answer. I will explain the lack of subtlety on Sasuke's part soon. Bear with me, okay? Thanks for the suggestion too.

Sasuke's POV will be coming soon, **thinks-too-hard**. Probably a chapter or two later. Stick with me 'til then.

I love all of you. I cannot impress it enough in binary. I hope I don't let you down with this story.

Do drop me a review regarding your thoughts.

Bye.


	7. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

 _"_ _In a man's letters you know, Madam, his soul lies naked, his letters are only the mirror of his breast, whatever passes within him is shown undisguised in its natural process. Nothing is inverted, nothing distorted, you see systems in their elements, you discover actions in their motives."_ ~Samuel Johnson

 **-x-x-x-x-x-**

 _Captain Uchiha Sasuke_

 _1_ _st_ _rifle battalion_

 _4_ _th_ _division camp, Otogakure_

 _8 February 1833_

 _Mr. Uchiha_

 _Snow has started melting in the countryside. Glistening, new vegetation peaks shyly from underneath a blanket of white. They are a sight to see; especially during sunrise. Each day I wake up at the crack of dawn to sneak out of my house and catch a glimpse of sun rays reflecting from a dew drops._

 _I have never been able to like winter. It is my least favorite season. I am unable to find any resonance with nature during this period of the year. As soon as I finished the last sentence, a poem came to my mind- 'Winter: A dirge' by Robert Burns. Have you read it? He, the poet, unlike me, finds perfect synchrony with winter._

 _The tempest's howl, it soothes my soul,_

 _My griefs it seems to join;_

 _The leafless trees my fancy please,_

 _Their fate resembles mine!_

 _I enjoy spending the evenings, surrounded by my family, in the drawing room, close to the fireplace. We use redwood logs in the grate so that the air is tinged with a comforting scent always. I have a tendency of propping my feet much too close to the hearth. I do so unknowingly and have often singed my stockings because of this habit. As I sit here writing to you, I have done so again. I cannot seem to rid of this habit._

 _Now you know how to find me in a crowd, sir. Simply follow the scent of scorched stockings!_

 _Were you aware, sir, that the redwood tree is a symbol of forever?_

 _Foxes are solitary creatures. And although they travel far and hunt alone, they like to come back to a safe and snug home. From what I have gathered of your character, sir, if you were an animal- you would be a fox. Kurama identifies you as one of his own. As his home. Since you helped Kurama when he was wounded, he has become loyal to you._

 _I am sorry, Mr. Uchiha that you have to see some of your comrades fall each time you head into a battle. I do not think that I am capable enough of imagining the acuteness of your emotions. I understand why you feel remorseful but do not carry it around on your shoulders, sir. Let it go._

 _I can hear gentle snapping and hissing of the flames from the hearth. Almost all the firewood has turned into red hot embers, taking away a bit of the warmth. I should end this letter before it goes out completely._

 _Do you remember about the unwanted mule? I have decided to call it Achilles, after the Greek hero. You shall know why when you see it._

 _Do take care of yourself._

 _Sincerely_

 _M. Namikaze_

 ** _-x-x-x-_**

 _Konohagakure_

 _17 March 1833_

 _Miss Namikaze_

 _I am hungry. It is not a civilized or proper way to start a letter but I do not know how else to begin. This is all I can think of at the moment. Due to a surprise attack by the enemy, a few weeks ago, we lost whatever supplies we had managed to acquire from the war-office. It has been a difficult couple of days since then. Most of what we have left is used to take care of the wounded and the weak. Other regiments would help us if they could but they have their own soldiers to worry about._

 _I am tired, Miss Namikaze._

 _Yesterday, I lay on the cold grass, staring at the vast night sky filled with countless sparkling stars and I reflected on life. I wondered about the endless possibilities and probabilities that I had been presented with. The roads I never treaded. The choices I never made._

 _Then, I thought of you._

 _A faceless, formless entity that I had several chances of making an acquaintance with but I never did. I wish I had. How I wish I had._

 _When it is too noisy or the atmosphere becomes too suffocating, I recall the words you wrote to me. They carry me away to a secure haven and it is peaceful and kind. Quiet._

 _I have always preferred autumn over any other season. I like the rustic antiquity infused into the wind and the surroundings. The weather is pleasant- neither hot nor cold. It is 'grey.' That is the one thing that makes me so fond of autumn. It leans towards neither extreme._

 _Yes, I have read the poem. It is one of my favorites._

 _We have several Redwood trees at our ancestral land. I distinctly recall its sharp, subtle and pleasing aroma. It was one of my favorite trees. Once I was told by my mother that it is a great teacher. All you have to do is sit under a Redwood and you will hear the whispers of ancient wisdom. I do not know the extent of truth in this statement but I religiously sat under a Redwood, during sunny afternoons, for months._

 _The responsibility of my sub-ordinates' death is mine alone to carry. It is my duty to let my regiment have a clear conscience. It is the only way for us to prevail until the end. Someone has to take the blame. Someone has to answer the grieving families. It is better that I take that pressure on my shoulders if the other option is having my men crushed under its weight._

 _Ever yours_

 _S. Uchiha_

 ** _-x-x-x-x-_**

 _29 April 1833_

 _Mr. Uchiha_

 _There is a theory that says that the stars keep shifting, that their positions are forever changing in space. After reading your last letter, I have spent every night, staring out of the window, gazing at the stars. I keep wondering if I am, perhaps, seeing the stars that you saw all these nights ago, laying on the grass. Or maybe, you might be sitting under the stars that I am currently watching._

 _It is so fascinating that despite being separated by miles, there is something that we are sharing. That we are linked by stars._

 ** _-x-x-x-x-_**

 _21 May 1833_

 _Miss Namikaze_

 _I am so far away, standing outside of my own life and looking in. I am a changed man. Amidst all this brutality, I have learnt the simple joys of life. The art of loving the smaller victories and the magical wonderments of little happenings. I have you to thank for that. You have shown me the beauty of a regular summer day. The unadorned pleasures of petting a fox, reading a letter and staring at the stars- I cannot explain how utterly comforting they are._

 _You have my sincerest gratitude, Miss Namikaze._

 ** _-x-x-x-x-_**

 _18 June 1833_

 _Sasuke_

 _May I refer to you as Sasuke? I hope you do not mind. You are free to use my given name too. I feel as if we are not two strangers sending each other mail anymore. You hold a special place in my life. Every letter you write is immeasurably precious to me. I believe I can repeat each one word by word. I have read them so many times._

 _I have been doing a great deal of walking lately. I seem to think better outside. On one such ramble, I picked up some Cedar and Oak twigs. I crushed some of them and poured the bits into a tiny, cylindrical crystal flask which I then attached to a chain. I have enclosed it with this letter._

 _Cedar tree is a symbol of healing and cleansing. It is also used in rituals of protection by the Roms. The mighty Oak is a symbol of courage and power. Legend has it that it is the most powerful of all trees and stands tall through thick and thin._

 _I am well aware that it is not much of a present or a charm. I hope it still means something to you._

 ** _-x-x-x-x-_**

 _31 July 1833_

 _Mitsuki_

 _I wear the amulet you sent me around my neck. It is a token I carry into the battle. For the past two weeks, I have been in a rifle pit, sniping back and forth with the enemy. There are no intricate arrangements from either side anymore. It is all aggression and artillery. We shoot, throw and attack to kill or get killed._

 _This is what being on the battlefield has led to- men forgetting their humanity. I see a quiet desperation in some eyes, pleading for an escape from this destruction. It is not about getting out alive now; it is about leaving the front any way possible. If death presents an escape, it is better to take it._

 _Two days ago, I found myself in the same predicament. I had a pistol pointing straight to my heart while my own lay neglected on the ground. The commander, of the enemy line, laughed mercilessly, telling me that he would avenge every life I had taken; that he would finish me then and there. Despite his favorable situation, I was confident that I could turn it around. But I did not wish to._

 _One bullet and it would be over. I would no longer have to be responsible for any more deaths. Also, I would be able to answer for my sins._

 _Have you heard that during one's last moments their life flashes before their eyes? As he pulled on the trigger, I only thought of you and your letters and the amulet hanging around my neck. At that moment I realized that I would not give a damn if our country lost this war but I would regret never meeting you outside of the words on a paper._

 _I killed him._

 ** _-x-x-x-x-_**

 _10 September 1833_

 _Sasuke_

 _I do not care about the men you kill as long as it is done with justified intentions. It sounds cold, I own, but the very thought of you getting hurt is devastating. Every day, I search through Konoha Times for any mention of you. Whenever I read about the honors bestowed upon you from all corners of the world, I feel proud. At the same time, I feel vexed._

 _Is it wrong of me to feel so?_

 _All these people singing songs in your praise, they know nothing about you. I understand that they are expressing their gratitude but they are doing it the wrong way. They should aid the affected families, stand united in the war-office so that supplies reach you faster and act thoughtfully so that our nation never has to set foot in a war-field again._

 _Praying for your safety, I have lit a candle on my window as I do every night._

 _Stars keep moving from their positions in the night sky. There is one that does not. The pole star. It never shifts. There is a tiny pole star on my window for you to follow home, Sasuke._

 ** _-x-x-x-x-_**

 _21 October 1833_

 _Mitsuki_

 _The chaotic madness has finally stopped. At least for the time being. There are too many casualties from both ends. We tried to give a proper burial to as many as we could. Kurama has not stopped whining for a while now. I believe he is waiting for shells to drop. I pity the poor creature. He has grown so thin._

 _Yesterday I dreamt about you, under the starry sky. A faceless figure clad in the purest white silk. You whispered in my ears. Soothing and peaceful. I cannot recall what you said for the life of me but it was the best sleep I had in a while. As I am composing this letter, I am trying to imagine you standing by your window, gazing at the sky… my pole star to follow home._

 ** _-x-x-x-x-_**

 _7 December 1883_

 _Dear Sasuke_

 _I have not told anyone this. About a month ago, I was coming back after meeting a friend when I discovered a new place deep in the woods. There is a route hidden carefully by the silver oaks and evergreens on the left edge of the woodland. The trail leads towards a fallen oak tree covered entirely by green moss._

 _There is family of linnets living on a silver birch just on the right._

 _After crossing the fallen tree, the path is straight and littered by leaves and branches and twigs. The music of the forest also strengthens considerably. At the end of the path, there is a little downward journey and it finishes at a clearing._

 _A wisteria tree stands beautiful and graceful beside a sparkling lake. The grass is lush and green, covering all visible ground. There is just the right amount of light to add to the magic of that place._

 _It is my special place. My sanctuary._

 _And now it is yours too._

 ** _-x-x-x-x-_**

 _27 January 1834_

 _Mitsuki_

 _Your special place sounds absolutely enchanting. I hope that someday, you and I would walk in it. And you would show me all of the wonderful things that captivate you- spider webs glittering in the rain, tiny saplings breaking open the soil to get sunlight, wind rushing through the leaves creating a lovely melody. I want to experience it all with you._

 _The things one has to do in the war… I thought it would get easier with time and it has. The things I have done… the things I have yet to do. Do I deserve forgiveness?_

 ** _-x-x-x-x-_**

 _5 March 1834_

 _Dear Sasuke_

 _You do not even need to ask. You are the one man who deserves it the most. I dare say, you have already been forgiven by saving the lives that you could and fighting for people that are completely unknown to you._

 _Mr. Ichiraku, the local chef who created Ramen, has named one his newest dishes after you. It is true. You have to believe me. There is also a 'Sasuke Uchiha hat' and 'Sasuke Uchiha cravat.' I have seen them on display in the village. It would not be far from the truth to say that they are the top selling items._

 _I have to stop writing for some time as my companion has brought tea._

 _Every morning and evening, I drink fresh mint tea sweetened with honey. My mother prepares it for me. She adds crushed mint leaves over the hot tea and then stirs honey into it. It is delightful._

 _I wish I could find some other way to send you a letter. It feels too mundane to send it through post. I wish I could tie a scroll to a bird's leg or send you a message in a glass bottle. It would be so much more interesting. However, taking into consideration the efficiency, I shall make do with the postal services._

 ** _-x-x-x-x-_**

 _12 April 1834_

 _Mitsuki_

 _Last night was remarkably clear. For the first time in two years, we celebrated. For what, I do not know. All I knew was that we were happier than we had been for a long time. We drank, laughed and shared stories. There was a sense of normalcy in the air and we all had craved it. One of my soldiers, the youngest, began singing a song._

 _His voice was not particularly riveting but it was the best music I had ever heard in my whole life. His dialect was heavily lidded so I could not make out the words though I soaked in the raw emotion fully. The desperation. The fear. And most of all- the hope._

 _I wish you could listen to it. You would have been able to appreciate the beauty of that moment to the fullest._

 _While everyone went to sleep, I kept gazing at the stars. I saw the Big Bear. And Cassiopeia. Orion- the hunter. For a moment, I swear, I saw Argo- the ship that Jason and his crewmates sailed in their quest for the Golden Fleece. It is impossible to see Argo from this part of the world._

 _Then, I imagined that we, you and I, were on a ship, made of stars, sailing on the moonlight, headed towards the infinite._

 ** _-x-x-x-x-_**

 _7 May 1834_

 _Dear Sasuke_

 _You have taught me that words do mean so much more than just a plethora of arrangements of various alphabets. They mean the world. And never so much as now. The moment I received your letter, liquid warmth ignited the blood flowing through my veins. I had to run to my, nay, our secret place to read it._

 _The last time I saw you, I did not know who you truly were. I never deigned to look beneath the surface. Underneath the underneath. I regret it now, for you are not how I expected you to be. You say that you have changed. War has tainted you. People never change, Sasuke. They may alter their clothes, hair or behavior but essentially, in the core essence, they remain the same as they had always been. Only new layers of conscience are added to their demeanor._

 _It would be a lie to say that I do not carry your thoughts around like my personal collection of constellations. I want to share all my commonplace miracles with you. When you return, I hope that we get to do so._

 _The harvest moon brought a dry, clear weather and the most abundant yields in memory were reaped. Have you noticed that each month has a distinct scent? This is the perfume of May- loam, flowers, harvest and life. The air smells divine. Whatever had been withered by frost has been restored to its full glory._

 _Just now, I had the oddest feeling that you were here, in the room, with me, reading over my shoulder. As if, somehow, my sub-conscious conjured you out of thin air. Maybe if I think hard enough…_

 _Sincerely_

 _Mitsuki Namikaze_

 ** _-x-x-x-x-_**

 **A/N:** I have made some changes with respect to the ages of Naruto and Kyuubi. In 1831, when the story began, Naruto was 20 and Kyuubi, 25. So, in 1834, she would be 24 by October and Kyuubi is 29.

 **-x-x-x-x-**

They do write to each other, **HRHPrincessTricia**. But the reason Itachi went to the ball mostly was because he had been invited. In the back of his mind, he might have been looking for her. And if he gets worried, he will not be mentioning it to Sasuke anytime soon. I like reviews like yours. So, thank you. Do tell me your thoughts on this chapter.

Thanks, **AlenaPatano.** I'll try my very best to keep it interesting. Drop me a review regarding this chapter.

It's going to be one more chapter before Sasuke's POV. You'll have to wait to hear his thoughts, **TheBeauty**. I do find Sakura's cantankerous nature annoying but it's also fun to write. Plus the dynamics of her relationship with Kyuubi is also very likable because of her nature. Tell me how you liked this chapter.

Aww! Thank you, **LongPastMidnight**. Do review your thoughts on this chapter.

I have never been able to like Kurama for a human name, **thinks-too-hard**. Whenever I think Kurama, I automatically relate it to a fox. I find Kyuubi, as a name, much more suited to a human, you know. I love writing the interactions between Sakura and Kyuubi. They are so much fun. I haven't really put a face to who Sakura saw. But, no. It's neither Orochimaru nor Kakashi. I can tell you that. Let me know what you think about this chapter.

To the **Guest** reviewer, thank you for such a generous compliment. I hope you review again. Please leave a name next time.

 **-x-x-x-x-**

 **A/N: Don't forget to review. I love reading them.**

 **Bye.**


	8. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

 _My eyes moistened yesterday with your dear, dear letter in my hand. Was it foolish to kiss the senseless paper, to clasp it with the involuntary laugh of uncontrollable emotion? Don't you think one could go mad of pure longing?..._ ~Byron Caldwell Smith, letter to Kate Stephens

 **-x-x-x-x-**

 _Miss Mitsuki Namikaze_

 _War-office_

 _Konohagakure_

 _20 June 1834_

 _Mitsuki_

 _We are settling in for a long siege. It is uncertain as to when I will have the chance to write again. So, I am going to take this opportunity to make my thoughts known. I am tired of hauling them around._

 _I love you._

 _In the simplest, most profound and overtly used words, Mitsuki, I love you. I wish I could dredge some poetic implications to make this confession sound as romantic as your kind is known to prefer._

 _Forgive me, madam, for such blatant expression of my feelings, if you happen to find them offensive in any way possible._

 _But I need to tell you._

 _If I could travel back in time and meet you on the occasions that we have been together, beneath the same roof, as perfect strangers, I would do so in a heartbeat. A dance. A touch. A conversation. A kiss. What would I not give to live these moments with you!_

 _I feel as if I have memories of you in my mind. You with your feet propped near the hearth and your breath sweet with mint tea. You- walking through Konohagakure, observing small wonders, smiling and kind. I would love to see your common place miracles, Mitsuki but I do not think I can find them without you. I need your help._

 _Please forget whatever I said about being merely curious when it is so much more than that. I was being selfish. I could not bear the thought of not receiving your letters only because I could not suppress some 'unruly' emotions._

 _Let me tell you what I am fighting for. Not for this country or its allies or because I am patriotic. It has all come down to the hope of being with you._

 _What a poor rendition of love these worn out words are. They cannot begin to do you justice or capture what you mean to me. Still… I do love you. And I swear by the stars that you will hear these words from me._

 _Ever yours_

 _Sasuke Uchiha_

 ** _-x-x-x-x-_**

Sitting beneath the lonesome and graceful Wisteria, Naruto finished reading the letter. She did not realize that she was crying until a few tears fell onto the sheet, smudging the ink at certain places. She felt the stroke of a breeze against her wet skin as her heart was pierced by bitter and hopeless need. "I love you," she whispered to the page and her tears spilled faster.

When had these feelings built a home in her heart? How had these feelings begun creeping into her soul? Good God, she could hardly remember what Sasuke looked like, and yet, her heart was breaking over him. She had never experienced such a depth of loss and agonized yearning in her entire life. It was the kind of grief that she knew she had inflicted upon herself. She was the cause of her own heartache.

"What have I done?" Her whisper rang in the air, soft and haunting.

She, who had gone through life with a remarkable appreciation of truth, had carried out an unforgiving deception. She had committed the worst kind of crime. She had always been proud of her sense of judgment and yet, at the very moment, she felt ashamed and humiliated.

She held the sheet close to her face with trembling hands, sobbing pitifully, behind the curve of paper. "What have I done?" she cried, begging for some answer that might quiet her worries and fears.

 _It has all come down to the hope of being with you._

Those words were meant for Naruto, no matter that they were addressed to Mitsuki. Everything he had written was meant for her alone and yet, she had tricked him in the cruelest way possible.

If Sasuke Uchiha ever found out that peculiar Naruto had written to him under false pretenses, he would surely despise her. What man could bear such hoax? It would appear to him as if she had been mocking him. But if he never found out the truth, Naruto would always be the girl who ' _is more suited to the wild than the civilized society.'_ Nothing more than _peculiar_ Naruto.

Worst of it all, one could not help but feel that Sasuke's feelings had been possibly encouraged by the harshness and hardships of wartime. This Sasuke from the letters… the man she loved… he might vanish once he returned home. Her free thoughts, that he had esteemed, might begin to irk him.

She did not think herself capable of bearing the brunt of his hatred. It would kill her to see loathing in his eyes, directed towards her.

She looked up from her letter to the gently swaying leaves of the Wisteria. What a beautiful tree it was! She recalled whatever she had read about the tree, in order to distract her mind.

How ironic that the Wisteria should be symbolic of great and enduring love when her own heart was being crushed into pieces.

Nothing good could come out of this situation, she decided. She had to put a stop to this. She could not pretend to be Mitsuki any longer. It was not fair to any of them, especially Sasuke.

The muscles of her face ached as she tried to compose herself. It needed to be done, no matter how much it hurt. She had to pay the price for lying to him. Folding the parchment, she slipped it into the pocket of her dress. When she cast one last longing glance at the Wisteria, a small prayer escaped her.

"I… I have come to love Sasuke in ways that are fierce and unbound. He has become everything to me. So, please… I beg you… do not let my love die. Please!" It was an unexpected rush of emotion that washed over her- relief to have poured out her fear and pain.

She felt eccentric and alone as she walked home slowly. For the first time in her life, she could not enjoy the little calls of wilderness from all around her. Her mind was occupied with his confession and her own. Her thoughts were aligned to him and his well-being. He had written to her in June, two months prior. In these two months, she had relentlessly scoured for any news regarding him.

Her fingers tightened around the letter in her pocket just as another pang of guilt hit her and a fresh batch of tears lined her eyes. She dabbed at her eyes mercilessly, gulping down the sobs that threatened to escape. As she neared the Uzumaki household, she could only hope that no one would guess her predicament.

 **-x-x-x-x-**

"You have been very quiet of late, Naru," Kushina said, her dark blue eyes were filled with motherly concern. "Is everything alright, dear? You look as if you have been crying."

She shrugged uneasily, thinking quickly of a way out this. "I am quite alright, mama." As an afterthought, she added, "I am worried about Hinata though. I have not heard much from her in a while. Mr. Akasuna has gotten better, yes, but still he is entirely dependent on her. I am afraid it might be too much for her alone."

Kushina's eyes turned soft with concern. "I wish there was something we could do." She paused as a thought occurred to her. "Maybe you should take some of my apothecary roses to Hina. They might cheer her up."

"Of course," she agreed with a nod. "I shall take them tomorrow."Her mother smiled warmly before staring at her searchingly. She knew that her mother was not fooled. Kushina was merely playing along to save her the discomfort of revealing what she truly felt. Naruto was grateful to have such an understanding mother.

"On a happier note, Kyuubi will be returning home soon," Kushina informed, a grin lighting her face. Naruto could not stop the stream of joy that coursed through her, at the news of her brother's return. Last year, he had gone to Sunagakure to study architecture.

Their house had been terribly lonely without him.

"His absence was sorely felt," she remarked lightly, tracing the tribal design on the upholstery with her index finger. "I had not expected to miss him much, I own. The old saying has been proved right again, it seems. Absence doth make hearts grow fonder."

Kushina grinned, knowing just how much Naruto had craved her brother's company, in the past year. "I afraid, Naru, this saying does not hold true when it comes to your companion. Her feelings towards Kyuubi are too antagonized. She would, perhaps, prefer jumping into the nearest river than welcome him back with any kind of positive appearances."

"I think she secretly likes him," Naruto suggested mildly.

Taken aback by the very notion, Kushina could not help but laugh. "They war with each other whenever they happen to be in the same room, which, thank heavens, is not often. What gave you this silly idea, Naru?"

Naruto looked at her mother for a moment, her blue eyes innocent and calm. "Any wounded beast would hiss, scratch and claw if it is scared of being harmed again."

Kushina kept quiet as she pondered over her words. "I suppose you mean to imply that she fears, Kyuubi might hurt her so she picks fights with him, to keep him away?" Naruto gave a short nod. "But, child, how can anyone love what they fear?"

She released a sigh, closing her eyes as her thoughts threatened to race towards her own troubles with love. "Kyuubi has never caused her any pain, not any lasting or deep one, at least." She shrugged. "You know Sakura, mama; she is steeped in the temperament of society and possesses a steely composure, capable of withstanding an earthquake. The only time I have ever seen her ruffled is when she is in the presence of Kyuubi. He seems to annoy her beyond endurance."

Kushina shook her head briefly. "You seem to have given this a lot of thought, dear. Maybe, you are right but I would not settle any hopes regarding this matter. It is too confounding at the moment. Time alone can bring us all the answers."

"When is Kyuubi returning?" she asked.

"By the end of this month," Kushina answered, getting to her feet. "I have to go see if your father is back yet." She smiled down at her. "I hope, whatever is the cause for the forlorn frown on your face, you find a way to set it straight."

"I hope so too."

 **-x-x-x-x-**

That night as she gazed at the stars, she could not bring herself to think of him without bursting into tears. She read each and every letter he had ever written, again and again, until the air resounded with her crippling grief. Words, sentences, full stops, commas… she wept over each one of them.

Just as _Ios_ began her duty of painting the lightening sky a pale orange, our miserable heroine fell into a restless slumber, clutching several blotched parchments to her heart.

 **-x-x-x-x-**

Dressed in a simple lavender gown, Naruto walked towards the Akasuna estates, next afternoon. A navy blue bonnet adorned her head. She carried a basket full of her mother's best apothecary roses and some sunflowers; she had collected along the way. Kushina had recommended Naruto to ride in a carriage as the day was hot.

Naruto, however, wanted the exertion of walking in hopes of calming her spirits.

Tendrils of apprehension uncoiled in her stomach as she crossed the Uchiha, previously Senju, manor. Someday, she would have to meet Sasuke and pretend that she did not know him. There was nothing that tied them to each other.

She had been inside the large house, twice. Once for a ball and the next for a dinner. She had searched for the trace of Sasuke in every Uchiha she came along and had even prodded relentlessly to hear anything and everything of him. She recalled, she had not left much impression on the Uchiha family. Especially during dinner, she had caused sufficient trauma to the prim ladies, and even several gentlemen, present.

She laughed at the memory.

By the time she reached her destination, a bloom of perspiration had emerged beneath her dress and on her forehead. She wiped her face with a square sheet of cotton before knocking on the door. A solemn looking maid showed her inside and went to fetch her mistress.

Hinata entered the room, thin and tired, hair half up, half down. Naruto rose to meet her. "How are you, Hina?" Concerned blue eyes swept over her friend's form. "You are pushing yourself too hard."

Hinata shook her head as they both sat down. "I am quite well, Naru. You do not need to worry. I am merely… weary at the moment." She attempted a smile to drive Naruto's worries away.

At once, Naruto offered, "Let me take care of Mr. Akasuna for some time, Hina, while you go take a rest. Let me do something."

Hinata rubbed her eyes. "You are very kind to offer, Naru, but I cannot ask this of you. It is my duty to care for my husband. I said so in my vows." When Naruto opened her mouth to protest, she continued, "I plan to follow my vows as long as I am able to."

As Naruto tried to absorb that, a maid brought in a vase full of roses and sunflowers. "My mother wanted you to feel better so she sent these."

"Offer my sincerest gratitude to Mrs. Uzumaki. Her concern is highly appreciated." Hinata smiled ruefully, looking at the flowers. "How pretty these flowers are. They have no worries or feelings clouding their senses."

Naruto understood her friend, catching a hint of sadness beneath the words. "How is your husband? I heard that he has gotten better."

"Yes, he has," she answered, her voice low. "He does not cough as much as before. It seems Lady Tsunade was right after all. It was not consumption that ailed him."

"Then what is it?"

"I… I wish I knew, Naru." Her voice cracked and she drew in a sharp breath. "No physician has been able to find out. They all say that it is consumption but the concoctions, against consumption, do not work on him. Only Lady Tsunade's herbal mixes have been able to heal him."

"Is it not good then, Hina? Your husband is recuperating."

"But for how long?" she cried, pale lilac eyes filling with sorrow. "Lady Tsunade is just as oblivious as to what ails him. She says that she is only treating the symptoms until she finds out the cause."

Naruto flinched slightly, faced with the vulnerability of her friend. "Old hag will surely find a cure for him, Hina. You know her just as well as I do. There is no one better than her," she assured firmly.

Hinata managed a weak smile. "Thank you, Naru. You have been such a wonderful friend in dreadful times like these." Naruto returned the smile. "I hope you know that you can share your troubles with me too."

"I cannot… I should not. You are already burdened too much. You do not need to hear my silly problems."

"Yes, I do. Do not deprive me of the right of being an equal in this friendship."

She grew quiet, not knowing how to proceed. Truth be told, she wanted to share her plight with her closest friend but could not find the courage to do so. Hinata seemed so worn out and frail, she cursed her own inabilities. Her dilemma appeared too small when compared to what Hinata was going through.

"I will remember that," she said softly. "But right now, Hina, I shall keep them to myself. They are not as cumbersome, I fear, as you imagine."

Hinata took her hands in her own, squeezing gently. "Cumbersome or not, I would not mind hearing them. Do not be elusive for my sake, Naru. I am stronger than I appear. And I do know you better than you think. Tell me what bothers you. A frown does not become you, dear friend."

Her walls crumbled at once, hearing the genuine care in Hinata's voice. She lowered her head, hiding the wetness seeping into her eyes. "I have done something horrendous, Hina."

"That does not sound like you."

"I did not mean to do it. It was never my intention to deceive him."

Hinata noticed the reference but did not call her friend out on it. Naruto would tell her once the time was right. "Why do you not talk to him and clear the air?"

"He would hate me."

"His reaction may surprise you, for all you know."

She let out a pained sob. "I know him, Hina. He would not want a woman who lied to him. He would never forgive me. I cannot bear the thought."

"Oh dear, this seems to be a most presuming muddle. You like him, do you not?"

Naruto raised her wide blue eyes, rimmed red because of spending so much time crying, and whispered softly, "I love him." Hinata said no more, simply pulling her friend in a warm embrace.

"You will be just fine, Naru," she murmured soothingly. "Believe me."

 **-x-x-x-x-**

In the privacy of her room, Naruto pulled out Sasuke's letter. She would write to him one last time. Something aloof. A placid withdrawal. It was better than deceiving him, she reiterated mentally. With a sigh, she put aside his letter.

Pulling forth a blank sheet of paper, she dipped her pen in ink and began writing unsurely.

 _Captain Uchiha_

 _As much as I esteem you, sir, it would be unwise for either of us to be impulsive where matters of heart are concerned, especially since you are so far away. You have my sincerest wishes for your safety. Still, I find it best that personal feelings should be strictly kept at bay. In fact, we should not continue our correspondence any longer. It will only bring unhappiness to both of us._

With each sentence, she found it difficult to continue. Tears welled in her eyes once again. "Darn it!" Her throat had gone too tight. It hurt to write such lies. She decided that before she could finish everything, she would write him the letter she longed to write and then destroy it.

Drawing a deep breath to soothe her nerves, she snatched another piece of paper and hastily wrote a few lines, in hopes that it would ease the intense clamping around her heart.

 _Dearest Sasuke_

 _This is my last letter to you. Do not worry. It is not because of any loss of affection on my part._

 _But I cannot lie to you anymore._

 _I never meant to deceive you but unknown to me, the words I wrote became flickers of fondness on their way to you. Flickers that soon morphed into flames._

 _Please come home and find me._

 _I am not who you think I am…_

Her eyes blurred and she pushed the page aside to finish her original letter, expressing her desire to see him safe and sound. As for the love letter, she shoved it into the drawer. She was going to burn it later on and watch each heartfelt word turn to ashes.

 **-x-x-x-x-**

About a week later, Naruto went to her desk to clean it. She opened the drawer and found a crumpled sheet inside. When she opened it to read, she froze. It was the polite, distancing letter she had written to Sasuke.

It had never been sent.

Miss Uzumaki went cold all over, her knees threatening to give out from beneath her. She must have sent the wrong letter. The one that was never supposed to be sent; the love-letter. "Oh God," she murmured, falling into the chair.

Her heart pounded. Had the letter been posted yet? Maybe she could go to the post-office and retrieve it. But what if it had been sent?

It was too late to think about the possibilities. She wondered what Sasuke would make of the strange letter. Groaning, she laid her head on the table and breathed heavily. She would just have to let it be.

"Please," she whispered desperately. "Do not let Sasuke reply. Let it all be finished. Never let him find out it was me."

 **-x-x-x-x-**

 **A/N:** A massive shout out to the people who left behind a review. I love you all. I am going to jump straight into writing Sasuke's POV after posting this chapter. I am hoping to post it by the end of this week or maybe before. So, I will unable to answer all of you individually. Sorry for that.

But thank you to all these wonderful people-

 **Punklena, ar111, thinks-too-hard, TheBeauty, AlenaPatano, Rain-XIX, The King in White, Cat Beats.**

Don't forget to tell me your thoughts on this chapter. Drop me a review.

 **-x-x-x-x-**


	9. Chapter 8

**A/N- A merry Christmas to all of you! May all that you have wished for becomes yours.**

 **Chapter 8**

 _Your letter—your dear, warm, true-hearted letter — was put in my hand. I kissed it how many times before breaking its envelope!_ ~Byron Caldwell Smith, letter to Kate Stephens

 **-x-x-x-x-**

 **1834, Otogakure**

Captain Uchiha averted his gaze to block the excruciatingly abysmal handling of one of the injured, by the orderlies. His cries alone would haunt Sasuke forever. They were too raw… too painful.

Despite their protests, the orderlies insisted on sewing the man in his blood stained clothes, stating that the man was delirious and would surely die any minute now.

His eyes returned to the horrifying scene, reluctantly, when a particularly agonizing cry filled the air. They were moving the man without finishing his operation. The orderlies intended to take him to the burial site before he had even died.

In response to the patients' angry objections, the orderlies replied that since the man was on the brink of death, the site of death was not of much concern. Also a bed was desperately needed.

All of this was true yet the brutality of it was impossible to ignore.

As one of the few men capable of movement, Sasuke interceded, "Let him take my bed." The orderlies refused blatantly, saying that it would simply spoil the sheet thus, adding to their workload. "Then let me stay with him on the floor, at least until he breathes his last."

They did not mind this sort of arrangement, claiming that they had more important work to do than taking care of a dying man anyway. So, Sasuke spent the next hour or two on hard stone, swatting flies, letting the dying fellow's head rest on his uninjured leg and listening to the feverish babble.

When the poor man finally passed away and the orderlies removed him, Sasuke got to his feet unsteadily and trudged back to his cot.

"You think you did any good for him?" One of the patients asked sardonically as Sasuke moved past him.

"Not for him," he replied, voice cold and low. "But perhaps for them." He nodded in the direction of rows of ragged cots where several young men lay and watched. They needed to believe that there was humanity left in the world and when, or if, their time came, they would find at least a flicker of compassion wherever they were.

When he had climbed atop his cot, with much difficulty, the man next to him spoke conversationally, "It occurs to me that a hospital may be the worst place for a man to try to get better." The young soldier- no more than nineteen or twenty- was staring at his face with a mixture of awe and curiosity.

"My views regarding general facilities have been challenged constantly since coming here," Sasuke answered wearily, suppressing a yawn.

He was brought to the camp hospital in a small village close to Oto, about a week ago. He had been wounded during an assault on the enemies, during the endless siege they had embarked on. One moment, he was leading his men towards the enemy bunkers and the next, there was an explosion and the sensation of being hit on the shoulder and his left leg.

The encampments, converted into hospitals, were not suitable to treat anyone; not even a person inflicted with cold. The barracks were infested with rats and vermin and were overly crowded. The only source of clean water was miles away. The water available in the vicinity was unfit for drinking; it was used for washing sullied clothes and bandages.

Not trusting the ability of the people treating him, Sasuke had bribed the warden into bringing him some strong spirits. The fact that he was an Uchiha, combined with money, did the trick easily. He had sluiced the alcohol over his wound to prevent festering.

In retrospect, he should have anticipated the hot, sharp burst of raw fire in his skin and muscles, causing him to tumble down from the bed, writhing in uncontrollable agony, on the stony floor. To his absolute relief, he had gone faint soon after.

Next day, he saw that the wound was swollen, angry red while the skin around it had tightened. There was no infection which led him to conclude that it was beginning to heal.

The very thought of getting ill in that place was frightening.

"When I first got shot, I was delighted. I thought- here is a perfectly good opportunity for a vacation, away from the front." He paused ruefully. "I grossly misjudged, it seems."

Sasuke wanted to comment on his naïveté but decided not to. "What is your name, soldier?"

"Konohamaru, captain Uchiha," he shouted rigorously, attracting the gaze of almost half of the place. "I am under captain Nara, in the 7th division."

"How did you get shot?"

Konohamaru looked around carefully and then leaned over so he could whisper, "I am trusting you to keep this between us, captain Uchiha." When Sasuke raised an elegant eyebrow, he continued with a small smirk, "I asked one of my associates to shoot me."

"Since, the opponent failed to live up to your expectations?" Sasuke asked dryly, leaning against the stiff bolster.

Konohamaru shrugged nonchalantly. "I merely happened to realize that no amount of glory was worth seeing my comrades lose their lives, sir." He looked away from Sasuke, eyes staring blankly ahead. "I was not expecting it to be so damned hard, I confess. When I left home, I was full of excited spirits, ready to experience the thrill of being on the front. It would all be one big game. An adventure. War, however, beat this foolishness out of me."

Even though Sasuke found Konohamaru's actions infuriating, he could not fault him for making the choices that he had made. Konohamaru had a childlike and trusting face, a distinctive air of mischief around him, betraying his young years. War was no place for someone like him.

Truth be told, war was not a place for anyone, except the vicious bastards who could kill, without an ounce of remorse.

"I do not understand how you do it, captain. I wish I was more like you."

Sasuke wisely kept his silence. He would not know how to answer anyway. He was not someone to look up to. He was steeped in misery, regret and violence. His hands were colored with the blood of many innocents. The stench of death that had, once, suffocated him, he was bathed it in now. It was a pitiful existence, he was leading, all for the sake of coming out alive in the end.

"My aunt Tsunade is mighty impressed with you, Captain. Every letter I receive from her, she never forgets to mention you. You have become a hero. The most decorated soldier from the army." Konohamaru sounded impressed as he finished, "Things are being named after you."

This drew a reluctant, wry grin out of him.

 _Mr. Ichiraku, the local chef who created Ramen, has named one of his newest dishes after you. It is true. You have to believe me. There is also a 'Sasuke Uchiha hat' and 'Sasuke Uchiha cravat'._

Heavens, how he longed for her!

Every second… every minute… every breath. He was mad with yearning. He wanted her with an intensity so powerful, so foreign, it overwhelmed his senses at times. Every word of every letter she had ever written resonated deep within his soul. She was the light at the end of a tunnel. His anchor.

"Say, captain, do you think we could go back to our normal everyday lives?"

Sasuke showed no expression as he answered, "Going back to how we used to be, I expect it to be bloody difficult. Impossible even. It depends on what," he hesitated a little, "or who waits on the other side, soldier."

"Good Lord, it will be impossible for me, then! Since the only ones awaiting me are my wizened grandfather and his flock of sheep."

"You have my regards," he responded wryly.

The younger man grinned unabashedly. "Why, thank you, Captain. You are extremely kind."

The words left his mouth before he could fathom them. "I also happen to be extremely skilled at killing."

Konohamaru grimaced slightly, the hint of humor leaving his brown eyes. "I am sure you are."

Sasuke cursed this new, unruly drive to remain detached, no matter what. He had not meant to be offensive. Far from it. He had started having uncontrolled flashes of rage and then periods of utter blankness, out of the field, some months ago. He became cynical and biting, to keep others out, to focus on the task at hand- _survival_.

Soon, it became a reflex. A part of his personality. A cruel maneuver that deprived one of the moment of levity that was so desperately desired in a place like this.

This is why I need you, Mitsuki, he thought with wild passion. He was _too_ out of touch. _Too_ volatile. _Too_ explosive. He had forgotten the ways of the world outside of warfare. He needed saving and she was the only one who could bring him the normalcy he so desperately craved.

He cleared his throat uncomfortably, trying to think of some way to salvage the ruined atmosphere and failed miserably. He did not know why, he was particularly put-off by the silence of the younger man. Maybe, because Konohamaru was the only one, from all the people around him, who had dared to talk to him as if Sasuke was a mere mortal. Not a cold-blooded slayer.

This only made his regret more profound.

"I am well aware that I was in the wrong, captain," Konohamaru whispered, breaking the unbearable silence shrouding them, "asking a fellow man to fire at me because I could not take it. It was cowardly… shameful, I admit. But, never… not even once, have I wished to die." Their eyes connected, haunting and war worn. "Believe it or not, captain, despite everything, I do wish to go home."

Sasuke could only manage a grunt of approval, his throat clamping because of a rush of pride and fierce emotion.

 **-x-x-x-x-**

His dreams led him into dark forests, where he searched through tall trees and shrubs, pushing through the narrow spaces between the evergreens as he followed the slender form a female, wild and free. She moved as if the wilderness belonged to her and she to it. She was always just ahead of him… always out of his reach.

He woke up gasping and enraged, his hands reaching out to grasp her but seizing emptiness instead. His heart was pounding recklessly, the breath leaving his body- harsh and bitter.

"Good morning, captain Uchiha," came the severe, pitiless voice of one of the Sisters of Charity. Sister Chiyo stood beside his cot, frowning with blatant displeasure.

With their stern demeanors and forbidding expressions, the nuns were so intimidating that some of the soldiers had suggested- out of their hearing, of course- that if they were sent to fight on the front, the war would be won in a matter of hours.

She laid a cool hand on his forehead. "Fever," she announced unsympathetically, rummaging through the pouch she carried. She pushed a small paper sachet into his hand, consisting of powdered dry herbs. "Make sure you consume it twice in a day, captain."

He gave her a short nod, intending to throw away the contents later anyway.

"Do not leave this bed again, captain, no matter the anguish you might have to bear witness to. If it causes you anger, do look away. But dare not move from this bed. Or I will have you tied you to it, I assure you."

He carefully guised his contempt. "Hn."

"Very well, then." She hesitated in her steps as if remembering the scolding she had forgotten to give. When a scowl covered her hard features, he knew he had been right in his assumption. "What is to be done about the wild beast? You refuse to abandon it. We do not know what to do with it. I do understand that it has been of great assistance to you. Still, it is more trouble than it is worth."

"As unsightly and ill-mannered, though, he happens to be," he said, fiercely protective of Kurama- the reason Mitsuki had written to him for the first time, "I owe my life to him."

"You talk as if _it_ is a human, captain. _It_ is a savage beast that can, at anytime, rip someone's throat out."

"Do not bother _him_ unnecessarily," Sasuke replied firmly. " _He_ is remarkably harmless, you will find, if you keep your distance."

She threw him a long suffering glare before moving away from him, leaving behind a packet of letters on his cot. He jerked up forcefully, energy pulsating through him in erratic waves. He fumbled, fingers shaking, in his eagerness to break the seal.

There were two letters inside. One from his brother and the other from her. He opened the one from his brother first, eyes scurrying over the elegant handwriting fast.

 _1 August 1834_

 _Little brother,_

 _If you are reading this letter, it means that you have managed to survive yet again, which I pray is the case. I would not know what to do otherwise._

 _Judging from your last letter, I fear, it would be unwise to ask if you are fine. You made it clear that you are not. Forgive me, Sasuke, for I failed to comprehend the extent of what you seem to be going through. After contemplating thoroughly on your situation, I have come to a conclusion._

 _I do not think it wise for you to participate in the war any longer. Just say the word, brother, I will make the necessary arrangements to bring you back. You need not worry at all._

 _I find it perfectly rational to add that mother misses you terribly._

 _Regarding the other matter, you say, the girl is your only chance of becoming a part of the world again? I am alarmed by this admission, truth be told. I cannot seem to grasp the idea of this woman. Do you not think something deceitful is in play, at the core of it all?_

 _Nevertheless, if she is as captivating as you declare she is, then you have all the more reason for returning home. No one knows how long the war would continue. There is no assurance that she will wait forever, Sasuke._

 _Needless to say, if your feelings are true then I will do all in my power to make sure she waits. You need not thank me for it, little brother. I am merely doing my duty as your elder brother._

 _Make sure to avoid any rifle or shrapnel that points at you. Wear helmets at all times. A hard head will not save you from shells._

 _Take care, Sasuke._

 _Sincerely_

 _Itachi Uchiha_

Sasuke scoffed softly, echo of a laugh getting caught in his throat. He closed his eyes for a minute, sighing. His gaze then landed on the second letter.

Mitsuki.

Somehow, half a world away, he had fallen in love with a woman he barely knew. He had never known anyone like in her. She had enchanted him by filling an empty sheet with words and mailing it. It did not matter to him that he was unaware as to how she looked. Whatever he had come to understand of her, he adored it. Her gentle humor, her unparallel fascination with nature, her earnest feelings, her curiosity to learn, her intellect, her kindness… God, he admired all of her.

There was only one decent part of him left, he believed, the part that loved Mitsuki. The very thought of her filled him with warm affection, serenity and a sense of belonging.

Two years ago, when he had received a letter from a stranger, a woman, nonetheless, he had been skeptical. He expected it to be filled with ardent confessions of love and devotion. A spark of curiosity, he was forever grateful for it, made him resist destroying the letter before reading it.

Suffice to say, he was caught in a pleasant surprise by the charming words of the sender. The imagery that her letter created, provided him a peaceful escape. Be it the prized mare's, belonging to Mr. Inuzuka, loose virtue or her description of the spring festival or her general assessment of transformations in seasons- he was entranced.

To this day, he was astonished by the response her letter had generated in him. An odd sort of pleasant feeling had settled deep in his stomach, sending jolts of warmth to the rest of his body.

Heart thumping loudly, he pried the envelope open. He drew in a breath, admiring the subtle beauty of her script, releasing it later as his eyes travelled over each word idly, not really reading them. The sight of her handwriting had filled him with emotion.

He read a few lines.

 _"…_ _But I cannot lie to you anymore… Please come home and find me. I am not who you think I am…"_

He puzzled over the words helplessly, trying to make them coherent. Soundlessly, his lips formed her name. _Mitsuki_. What had happened to her? He put his hand against his chest, trapping the letter against his heartbeat.

"Please come home and find me," he repeated unconsciously. Of course, he would find her. There was no doubt about that. She need not even ask. "I am not who you think I am."

What could she mean to imply? Yes, she was unlike any other female he had come across. Yes, she was not what he had expected but that is how he wanted her. Different. Thoughtful. Brave.

 _This is my last letter to you._

 _I never meant to deceive you_.

God help him, he could make neither heads nor tails of the letter. All he understood was that something was horribly wrong with this entire situation. Was she in some kind of trouble? His eyes felt heavy and dry as he read the letter once more.

His head began to ache… throbbing… hammering…

In between the continuous pulses of pain, he realized that he was shaking in helpless confusion.

Sasuke managed to huddle in his side, the letter tucked tightly beneath his head. He tugged the blanket high so that no one would witness his moment of weakness, sheltering his privacy.

 _Unknown to me the words I wrote became flickers of fondness on their way to you. Flickers that soon morphed into flames._

He was comforted by the admission, greatly pleased that his love was reciprocated but it could not drive away the apprehensiveness. The feeling that something was amiss.

 _Please come home and find me._

"I will," he promised softly, to her and to himself, "even if it is the last thing I do, love. I will find you."

 **-x-x-x-x-**

 **A/N-** I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. Many of you wanted me to write Sasuke's POV from the moment he received the first letter, to know his reaction. I've addressed a part of it in this chapter. I just didn't think that going back would help with the pace. But still, if you aren't satisfied, I'll try and post a one-shot describing his feelings in length. Let me know.

Don't forget to leave behind a review. Since Sasuke's POV was so eagerly awaited, I really want to know if I did it justice.

 **-x-x-x-x-**

Thank you to the following people for leaving behind their lovely reviews. I appreciate each and every one of them.

 **Rain-XIX, thinks-too-hard, HRHPrincessTricia, chloemika, TheBeauty, LyKatherine Adhara, Cat Beats, Guitarlovechild, Ahryielle, Lunar loon, AlenaPatano, phoenix-jane27, forsakeme.**

You don't need to apologize, **phoenix-jane27**. You sent me your thoughts and I appreciate it, no matter the language. I had to use Google translate someday, right? Thank you for the compliment. You'll have to wait and see which one of your theories is closer to the plotline.

I can't really reveal how the mule plays its part in this story, **HRHPrincessTricia**. But, wow, you're really keeping up with it. Naruto has unconsciously told Sasuke a lot about herself. Now, it's up to Sasuke to connect the dots.

 **-x-x-x-x-**

 **A/N- Once again, Happy Christmas!**


	10. Chapter 9

**A very happy new year to all of you!**

 **-x-x-x-x-**

 **Chapter 9**

 _"_ _To thy bosom lay my heart,_

 _There to throb and languish;_

 _Tho' despair had wrung its core,_

 _That would heal its anguish."_

 _~Thine Am I, My Faithful Fair by Robert Burns_

 **-x-x-x-x-**

Hinata Akasuna climbed the stairs, walking to her husband's room, an unsteady heartbeat ringing in her ears. With every step, the frown on her face dissipated slowly, morphing into a fragile smile. She drew in a deep breath, outside the oak door, pushing all her thoughts to the back of her head.

She had to be strong, a source of utmost strength for the sake of her beloved. No matter what the future held for them, she would stand by the side of her husband as she had promised six years ago. Nothing anyone could say or do to change her mind.

She stepped inside, her lips lifting at the sight of her handsome spouse. He was resting, eyes closed in tranquility; a period of respite from the dreadful cough that frequently troubled him. She went about straightening his chamber, careful as to not rouse him. She went to the window, drawing the curtains open to allow the fragile light of dawn in.

Hinata settled at the edge of the mattress and regarded Sasori.

A multitude of emotions and doubts passed through Hinata as she watched him. It was astonishing how quickly a disease could deteriorate a man.

Her husband had withered considerably, under the influence of the unknown ailment. His formerly attractive features, no longer recognizable, often startled her. Sometimes, he would no longer be _compos mentis_. He would stare at her without recognition, obsidian eyes glowing fiercely against his pallor. She would clench his hand, listening to his incoherency, fighting back tears.

"Hush, sweetheart," she sometimes whispered softly, kissing his flushed forehead. "Hush. You shall be fine…"

Such times injured her spirit more than anything else could. It was unbearably anguishing to watch him go through so much pain.

Weak lungs, all the doctors had said. Yet, their medicines never worked on him. Only Lady Tsunade's herbal mixes managed to do the healing, even though Lady Tsunade was just as unaware to what ailed Sasori.

Sasori had no real family of his own, orphaned at the mere age of fifteen. Until her arrival into his life, he had gone through his days like a mad man- incomplete and insatiable, he used to tell her. A tear slipped along the curve of her cheek, she wiped at it furiously.

Nothing to do but succumb, her father had said to her grimly. A lifetime of bedrest followed by an early death.

Hinata simply could not accept this fate.

She loved Sasori dearly, more than anything else in the whole world. He was the most honorable, passionate and perversely lovable villain. He had dared to break the barriers of her shyness, accepting her stammering and freckles with open arms.

She did not give a darn about anyone's thoughts on her predicament. Her husband would be cured, she knew it. He would get well and enjoy the things that others took for granted.

A soft groan interrupted her pondering.

Immediately she was at his side, running her fingers through his red hair soothingly. A troubling expression was spread across his semi-conscious features.

Dampening a cool cloth, she laid it on his forehead. She wet another piece of cloth and slid it over his exposed skin gently; a temporary relief from whatever distressed him. Drenching and wringing out the cloth, she wiped his chest, shoulders, face and neck.

A grateful sigh escaped him.

She paused in her ministrations and leaned over him to apply salve on his chapped lips. She visibly started when her wrist was seized. "Hina," Sasori murmured, eyes opening slowly.

She smiled, bent over him. "It was not in my intentions to wake you, my lord."

"Considering that your intentions, these days, are turned towards making me a sloth, I believe you," he remarked wryly, freeing her hand and getting up to sit. She moved to help but he held a hand. She was aware that he detested depending upon her. A reversal of roles.

It was embarrassing.

Ignoring him, she went to fetch his medicine. She poured a spoonful of the syrup and held it in front of his face. "Take this." He glared at her, swallowed the medicine, made a face and then cursed. She covered her face to guise the grin that threatened to appear.

He did not miss the action. "I am glad you find my torment amusing," he observed brusquely.

"This tonic is no ambrosia, I do admit, my lord, but it could hardly be the cause of your torment."

The ghost of a smile touched his lips. "Do forgive me, wife. I forgot of your obsession with specificity."He settled more comfortably against the sturdy upholstery. "This tonic only happens to be one of the causes of my torment. Would you like to know the rest?"

She resisted the urge to wince when faced with the dry humor mixed with contempt, lurking deep within the depths of his obsidian eyes. "Did you have a good sleep?" she asked, noting his disappointment as she avoided the topic. It was no use to talk about it. Sasori would tease; play with words in a way that would hurt them both.

"It was pleasant enough," he said quietly. She knew that he was lying. She had heard his cries of anguish late at night. She had spent better part of her night, tending to him.

Suddenly, it was too suffocating to be there. They were surrounded by toxic silence that was killing them, slowly. Painfully. She did not know what to say or do to comfort him. With Sasori, it was vital to be cautious. He was used to doing everything by himself.

Sasori, in turn, watched the play of emotions on his wife's face. He was living in a nightmare, unable to wake up. He was wasting day by day. The knowledge that he was taking Hinata with him haunted him every night. Hinata did not deserve such a cruel destiny. She was too good for him.

She was always there when he needed her, before he even asked. She understood everything as if his tangled thoughts were bared before her and she pulled them apart diligently. She was his support, undermining him with tender love and affection that he had come to crave. His worst fear had always been depending on someone this way because people tended to leave.

Only this time, he would be the one leaving.

He was not growing weaker anymore but he was not getting better also. He knew the truth. Whatever ailed him would not go away until he went with it.

He did not wish to inflict any kind of pain on Hinata. She was his heart.

"Sasori?"

He looked up to her sincere lilac eyes. How pretty she was. Delicate and soft. No sharp angles. Only beautiful curves. "Yes, my love?"

"Lady Tsunade will be visiting this evening," she answered, a blush covering her pale cheeks. Her shyness was a constant source of his amusement. "I hope you will remain civil this time around. She has been a great deal of help."

"She was poking me with an instrument more suited for an assassination," he defended, not missing how her eyes crinkled as she fought her laughter. "It was within my rights to ask if she knew what she was doing."

"You obstinate man," Hinata said, torn between laughter and tears. "What will we do if you drive away the most skilled healer of this country?"

"Knowing you, find someone better," he muttered bitterly. He had not comprehended her iron-will ever before. No amount of disappointments deterred her. She was hell bent on saving his life. And he hated her for it. He was in too much pain. Every day, he felt more and more like an invalid. To make matters worse, he enjoyed the attention she lavished on him. Nothing was too much to ask of her.

It would have helped if he could get a rise out of her by provoking an argument. She, however, countered his demands with infinite patience and concern.

He broke out of his reverie when a pale hand brushed against his cheek. She was leaning over him, the tips of her unbound hair brushing against his chest. He glanced wretchedly at her… the seductively full lips…creamy satin skin. She smiled. "You need a shave, my lord."

Sasori could smell her scent… warm, soap, and perfume… sunflowers. He shifted slightly, his senses alight with awareness. He blamed this momentary lapse for what happened next. "No. Do not come near me with that blade, woman!"

She frowned. "Let me take care of you," she insisted, coming nearer yet. When he shook his head desperately, she huffed, "It is not as if I will slice your face into pieces."

"Forgive me, darling, if I do not take that chance," he retorted drily, truly afraid for his life. Good God! He had never imagined fearing his life from Hinata.

"Oh, stop protesting! I shall be careful, I promise. It will help if you remain still."

He stared at her, unblinking and surprised. "I shall be too terrified to move anyway."

She made a sound of amusement. "Then are you allowing me?"

"I find I am at a general disadvantage in this position," he said, holding back the wince as she settled next to him. He tried once again. "Let me do this, love. You might end up hurting yourself."

He expected her to disagree, make a smart remark and have her way. He never expected her to give in with such a tender smile. "Fine, my lord." She pushed the razor into his hand. "Can I watch though?"

He nodded dubiously. She brought a porcelain bowl and the rest of his shaving implements to the bedside. He asked for some hot water and a towel, unable to discern her. He drenched the cloth in hot water and then wrung it to remove excess water. "The towel first," he murmured, patting his left cheek first and then the other. "It softens the whiskers."

He continued to shave, telling her the steps one after the other. She listened curiously as if it was the most interesting thing in the entire world and there was no better way for her to spend time than watching him perform a common masculine ritual.

When he finished, he put the equipment aside and waited for her to speak. Wordlessly, she removed the shaving material. "Next time, you shall have no excuse to hide behind," she remarked on returning to his side, a satisfied smile gracing her lips.

"Bloody hell! I should have suspected. You surrendered too easily." Still, he could not help but smile along with her. It was a peacefully beautiful moment. Morning light slanted in the rear, providing a kind of halo behind her. Angel, he thought lovingly. His angel.

"I have to go check on the breakfast. Is there anything particular you might be craving, my lord?"

He forced his gaze at her smiling, innocent face, not missing the lines of distress that had formed near her eyes. The guilt that he had caused her so much misery began eating him inside once more. She tilted her head a little, awaiting his response. There was something so ethereal about her at the moment that he felt ashamed of her ruining her glow.

"You do not need to stay with me, Hinata," he blurted out. "This marriage can be annulled anytime. There is no reason for you to remain here. Do not waste your life with me."

Her eyes widened, and then she began laughing. "Do not jest with me, my lord."

"I was n"-

"Do not say it. Please!" she pleaded, head bent and trembling all over. She was crying, he realized with a sickening jolt. "Do not! Please, I beg you." He leaned forward and drew her in his arms at once. She sobbed pitifully against his shoulder. He decided he hated this more than anything. It broke his heart to have her crying. "You v-vain, wretched, s-stubborn ass! I cannot l-lose you. I w-will go mad," she sniffled.

"I am dying, love," he reminded her weakly, drawing small circles at the small of her back.

"No, you are not. I will n-not let you," she whispered determined. "I will fight the d-devil if I have to, to keep you next to me."

He chuckled. "How did I find you, hard-head?"

She gave a weak hearted grin. "Recall, I c-came to you."

He pulled her back, their eyes connecting. Obsidian against lilac. "How can I forget? It was one of a kind encounter." She colored prettily. "It was a day like the one outside. Sunny. Warm. Refreshing. A well-bred young woman, from an acclaimed family, came to my doorstep with a request. Do you remember it?"

She glared at him, the effect ruined by the red suffused over her skin. He bent forward and whispered huskily in her ear, "You asked to be my new lover."

"I was r-running from a marriage I did not want," she retorted with as much dignity as possible. Then a thought occurred to her and she released a huff of laughter. "You asked me for money"- she giggled uncharacteristically- "to do _that._ "

"I do not provide my _services_ , much superior than anyone else, for free," he replied in all seriousness.

"I thought you were mad."

"Yet you married me."

"Your ' _superior services'_ blinded my judgment," she teased.

He could not help but ask even though the answer was clear as a day. Something in him wanted to hear the words. Again and again. "Do you regret it?"

Without wasting a breath, came her answer, "Never."

He kissed her. Wildly… passionately… erotically. She surrendered to him with a small gasp. He did not have much strength to spare but whatever little he had, he used it to tend to the fire burning between them. She responded to him with sweet archness, driving him insane.

Too soon, he was struggling for air; his insides burning, twisting and clenching.

He placed one last lingering kiss on her lips, and then slowly created some distance. He drank in the air that rushed to his lungs.

She pushed at his shoulder in mock anger. "Then you dare to ask me to leave, you coward." She kissed his cheek. "Where will I find another man who would ravish me in front of my father?"

Slowly, his resistance ebbed. For the time being. "Damn you for making a good point, Hina."

She smiled, putting her head on his chest. "Thank me later," she murmured before getting to her feet. "It is time for your breakfast. I shall bring a tray in a few minutes."

"Take your time," he sniffed wryly. "I have nowhere to be."

"Except with me."

"Except with you," he repeated with a smile.

 **-x-x-x-x-**

There had been no correspondence from captain Uchiha after Miss Uzumaki had last written to him. She spent every day in wretched agony, cursing her dismal heart. She made the right decision, she was sure, but by God, it hurt too damned much. She could not bring herself to talk any other; her thoughts distracted and grieving.

Sasuke had been wounded, she had read, but he had recovered and soon rejoined the battle. She was distraught, filled to the brim with worry and concern. Like a hunter, she scoured through newspapers for news of him. To her dismay, the accounts by local journalists were, more often than not, grossly exaggerated. It was impossible to see the thin boundary between truth and plain lies.

It tormented Naruto, wondering how Sasuke was… if Kurama was still with him… if his wounds had healed… But it was no longer within her power to ask him questions.

Somewhere, deep inside, she felt as if she had abandoned him. He had always written about how awful it was on the war-field. Now, he was well and truly alone. It made her stomach clench with guilt and wanting.

To remedy her heartache, she had spent the last few weeks tending to her mother's gardens, reading to children, taking care of the animals and hiding in her secret haven. She carefully hid from her parents' concerned gazed, trying her hardest to appear as cheerful as she felt melancholic.

"I can see a carriage approaching, my lady," Mrs. Tachibana announced loudly, seemingly having forgotten her love for decorum in the wake of Kyuubi Uzumaki returning from Sunagakure. Naruto schooled her features, though she was aware that her brother would not be fooled, smiling genuinely for the first time in a long time.

In a few minutes, the front door was opened by the valet.

Her brother entered, handsome and charming as ever. His dark blue eyes glinted with mirth and warmth as he returned his mother's embrace. The reunion with his father was much more civil, though no less warm. Then, he was approaching her and she could not help but grin.

He had been sorely missed.

"You are back," she said softly when he reached her.

He smirked sardonically. "It does appear so, sis." She shook her head and flew to him, only to be swallowed in a strong embrace.

"They were not able to tolerate you any longer?" she asked, her voice muffled against his shoulder. Kyuubi gasped in mock hurt.

"I should tell you that they adored me with a devotion unheard of." She rolled her eyes, leaning back. He continued with a wry grin, "They shed tears when I announced that they would no longer be able to bask in my glory."

"Are you quite certain they were not tears of joy?"

Kyuubi shot her a mock glare. "Little devil!" When she grinned unabashedly, he released her gently after pressing a soft kiss on her forehead. "Did you behave while I was gone?"

"I should be the one asking that," she reminded him none-too-kindly.

"I was a perfect angel," he told her innocently. "How can you even think otherwise, sis?"

She shrugged nonchalantly.

He stared at her, eyes thoughtful and contemplative. "How you have changed," he observed blankly, she knew he saw the depth of emotion guised in her irises. "You have grown up."

Naruto smiled wryly at the observation. "I shall be four and twenty soon, Kyuubi. I daresay it is time I grew up."

Something in his demeanor shifted. She, wearily, read the signs of over-protectiveness clear in his expression. The conversation was not over. Kyuubi would seek her out and detangle the mystery that made her miserable. However, at the moment, he would only watch like a hawk.

"Am I to assume that you have finally done the sensible thing and removed Haruno, mother," he asked, gaze sweeping across the hall, "since I find her blissfully absent from this reunion?"

Naruto fought to keep the grin off her face. His perfectly calibrated and offhanded manner of asking Sakura's whereabouts did not deceive her. Kushina answered, a little hesitantly, "She is still employed here, Kyuubi." She paused for a moment, obviously searching for words. "She is well… she is not feeling like herself."

"Why? Was she- by mistake, of course- kind to a fellow being?" Kyuubi questioned sardonically. "I can only imagine how heavily the _acte de genillesse_ must be weighing on her conscience."

Before her mother could reply, Naruto butted in, "She had a small mishap some days ago." The information piqued his interest, she could tell. "She is rather upset about it and does not wish to be seen."

"I hope you will not tease Sakura regarding it, Kyuubi. That would be quite unbecoming of you," Kushina insisted.

He shrugged nonchalantly. "As if I would give a damn wherever bloody Haruno is concerned." He paused briefly. "What is it?"

Naruto frowned outwardly. "I should not tell you but the problem is quite obvious."

Kyuubi opened his mouth to speak but was interrupted by a stern voice.

"And nothing to concern yourself with, _my lord_."

She was just as Kyuubi remembered her. Thin… strict… prickly… cold.

She was bad temper personified. Kyuubi winced just by catching the absolutely detestable glare she threw him. She treated him as if he were the vilest, filthiest man to have ever set foot on earth. Whenever he had the misfortune of looking at her, she would be scowling.

Kyuubi had rarely encountered such an off-putting female before. Sharp-tongued, pale, her form an accumulation of pointy elbows and her disposition stiff, parched and disconcerting.

Narrow-minded bitch, he thought with disdain.

He could not stand judgmental people. Yes, he had a prolific history with women and he would be damned if he said he was sorry for it. He never bedded an unwilling woman and he never left his partners unsatisfied. He did not make promises of fidelity or break hearts.

He knew what love entailed and had no intentions of being inflicted with the emotion again in his life.

Glancing at her frame, he searched for something different. She had gained weight, he noted with surprise, filling out almost sweetly into her gown. The gauntness in her cheeks was gone, leaving behind smooth creamy skin. He cursed his eyes for noticing this.

Then he saw it.

She had her head covered by a cloth, a knotted turban of sorts, concealing her hair. Quite unable to help himself, he sneered. "Hello, Haruno. Is it some new fashion, the wrapping on your head?" She glowered at him. "I am afraid, it fails to add to your charming person," he added wryly, a cold smirk following it.

"I hold no esteem to your opinions, _my lord_ ," she said darkly.

"Come, Haruno," he said with mock politeness. "I am sure we can manage to get through a chat without it ending in bloodbath."

"I am capable of it, surely, sir, but I sincerely doubt you are."

Blasted woman. He wanted to wring her pretty neck off her shoulders. "If I were you, Haruno, I would refrain from running my mouth before my employer."

She longed to retort, he could see it in her eyes, but instead pressed her mouth in a strict line. The defiance in her disposition amused him… aroused him. He cursed under his breath. Despite all the reasons for loathing Haruno, he could not help but imagine what she would look like after a prolonged tumble in bed with him. He wanted to remove all her inhibitions, make her lose the severity in her muscles and then bother her endlessly.

Yes, that is exactly what he wanted.

Good Lord, what the bloody hell was wrong with him?

His mother, bless her, saved him the humiliation of contemplating more on such horrifying desires, by pulling him to the parlor where tea awaited.

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 **A/N-** This chapter sheds light on the relationship between the characters in the side pairings. I don't think I'll have much time to showcase the dynamics of how I view Sasohina later on, so I did it right here. Also, there's a glance into Kyuubi's viewpoints regarding Sakura.

I hope this chapter didn't disappoint.

Leave a review behind and let me know your thoughts regarding Sasori-Hinata and if you liked this chapter.

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Lots of love to the people who left behind their thoughts regarding last chapter. Thank you.

 **ougley, RainXIX, HRHPrincessTricia, punklena, thinks-too-hard, Raimon, TheBeauty, 93SQ, SunlitSky21, Elena Parker, naruko75, Cat Beats, bunnyguest, Guest, AlenaPatano, TrappedInHappiness, mica craft, Lunar Loon, LongPastMidnight, Raven097, rii**. **young** **, BLANK**

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 **A/N2-** To put your doubts to rest, **SunlitSky21 and RainXIX** , this story will have a happy ending. I am a sucker for happy endings so, yeah it'll happen. It will be hard earned but it'll come. I promise you.

To **BLANK** , your review actually got me working diligently to finish this chapter. The fact that you check for an update everyday touched my heart. Thank you for showing this much dedication. Love you.

 **-x-x-x-x-**


	11. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

 _Mr. Witwould: "Pray, madam, do you pin up your hair with all your letters? I find I must keep copies."  
Mrs. Millamant: "Only with those in verse... I never pin up my hair with prose."_  
~William Congreve, _The Way of the World_  
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 _…_ _. I am well aware that my decision, according to you, is far from prudent. 'Madcap' was the adjective you used to describe it, in your last letter. I do esteem your opinions but I have made the choice to stay until the end of this bloody war. It is difficult to explain why. I would have raced back, had you asked me to return before I had gotten injured. I would have chosen the easier way out quite eagerly._

 _But things have changed._

 _Since coming to war, not a day goes without learning a new lesson. One of such lessons, I learnt on the sickbed. Soldiers, barely out of boyhood, look up to me… depend on me. I have a regiment, consisting of hundred men, under my command. I cannot let them down. I have to do what is expected of me, no matter how I terrible I find it._

 _I do hope you understand my reasons._

 _Regarding Mitsuki, I do not understand much except that she is the one I am coming home to, come heaven or hell._

 _Until then, do refrain from traumatizing Mitsuki when you have the fortune of making her acquaintance._

 _Sincerely_

 _Sasuke Uchiha._

 **-x-x-x-x-**

On the last evening of October, the Uzumaki family attended a private ball given at the Uchiha manor. Though Naruto would not, for the sake of putting her mother at ease, she accompanied her family with a smile. It was said that the invitations were highly sought after, since every peer wanted an association with the extraordinarily powerful Uchihas. Also, Viscount Itachi was next in line to inherit one of the oldest dukedoms in the kingdom.

Every unmarried missus wanted to ensnare the handsome man.

She recalled wearily how the mansion had changed since Uchihas took residence there. No traces of Senju history were left. Earlier, it used to be brimming with activity of several maids while a curious herbal scent lingered in the air, soothing to the nerves. Now, it was a solemn household with tall footmen and stout butlers.

As they entered the manor, Naruto was swamped with regret and dread. She glanced at her brother, only to find him watching her in concern. She smiled weakly, hoping to dissuade him from whatever conclusion his mind was deriving at the moment. She turned to look forward once more.

Her corset was laced too tightly. She had to draw huge gulps of air, in order to calm herself.

She was wearing a pale blue dress, layers of draping satin, while a deep blue sash cinched her waist. Her blonde hair was a mass of pinned up curls adorned by a cerulean ribbon.

The ballroom was filled with flowers, music and the din of hundreds of conversations going on simultaneously at every corner. Doors had been removed from the hinges to allow the flow of guests from the ballroom to the supper-room and card-room.

As they waited in a receiving line at the entrance hall, Kyuubi sighed. "Here, I thought, sis, that you had traumatized the family enough to never receive an invite again." He grinned wickedly. "You are losing your touch, it seems."

"You are over-exaggerating," she defended, taking a step forward as the line moved. "I merely proposed that women should be allowed to participate in wildlife expeditions. It was a right proposition too!"

"Very progressive thinking on your part, darling," Kyuubi said in a placating voice. "But you forget that not all women are like you. Most women prefer staying at home, surrounded by comfort, attending balls, dancing… sewing and rearing children." He paused for a moment before adding wryly, "You could have refrained from giving all present a lesson on avian mating habits too."

She huffed in annoyance. "Snails."

"Pardon?"

"I explained the mating habits of snails," she said through clenched teeth. Kyuubi chuckled under his breath. His sister never failed to baffle him. He could tell that something was troubling her; it was clear from her disposition. Her bright sky blue eyes were uncommonly dreary.

"I am surprised they did not toss the nearest heavy object at you for ruining their sophisticated aural organs."

There was no time to answer as their turn to enter finally came. When they made it through the entrance hall, the family dispersed- Lord Uzumaki and Kyuubi heading for the card room while the ladies went towards the supper table. Kushina was immediately snatched by gossiping matrons. The redhead sent her daughter a half pleading, half uneasy smile before joining the small group of women.

Naruto looked at her companion.

Sakura was, as always, dressed in dark colors. Despite their protests, she refused to uncover her hair. She said that she was ready to bear ridicule for her fashion but she would not relent. "I despise these affairs," Sakura commented, eying the gathered guests with deep revulsion. "I find these affairs the most pitiable scheme of wasting time and money. If only one would take a minute to think, they will discover that all this food can be used to feed hundreds of malnourished children."

Naruto laughed. It was hard to believe that the prim and proper Sakura could have such scathing views regarding the general conduct of society. "Here, have a spoonful of salad," she murmured to Sakura. "For appearance's sake, let us both smile, Sakura, even though it is the last thing either of us wish to do."

Sakura glanced at her uncertainly. "Do forgive me for making assumptions, Naru," she said, her voice lowered, "your spirits have been in a terrible state lately. Is everything alright, dear?"

Naruto forced a bright smile. "Oh, there is absolutely nothing to worry about, Sakura. I am in perfectly good spirits!"

Looking unconvinced, Sakura gave her a compassionate smile.

After they finished eating, they walked back into the ballroom. Music streamed downwards; an orchestra was playing at the upper gallery. The massive room glittered in the light from eight chandeliers while the sweet fragrance of flowers and perfume thickened in the air. Locked in the unforgiving bondage of a tight corset, she felt incredibly warm in there.

Sakura quickly produced a handkerchief which was gratefully accepted. Naruto dabbed her neck and face carefully. She walked towards the side where several cane chairs had been arranged. "Will you find Kyuubi for me, Sakura?" she asked, feeling as if the world was shrinking around her. "I do not mind going out for air myself but mother will not approve. So, if you will do me this favor, I shall forever be in your debt."

"Yes, of course," Sakura said gently, guiding her into a chair. "I shall bring you a glass of water first and then look for your brother. Is that alright?" Naruto nodded dizzily. The infernal… damned, iron cage of a corset around her upper body made breathing difficult; she swore to burn it as soon as she reached home. She would enjoy watching it burn.

It was unfortunate that in that particular state, on that specific chair, she was able to hear the conversation from other side of the garlanded column. A trio of women spoke in low, smug voices.

"She has no place amongst us," one of them said. "If not for her family, no one would care for her. She is pretty, in an exotic sort of way, but apart from her features, I do not see a redeeming quality about her."

"A gentleman I know said that he tried to talk to her at a private art viewing but she was prattling about some ridiculous topic… something about the latest theory regarding consumption… that it is caused by living beings. Can you imagine? How silly!"

"Tiny living organisms," Naruto whispered miserably, "so tiny that they are invisible to the naked eye."

"What would you expect from such an odd family?" The three laughed jovially. "The only one worth mingling with is Mr. Uzumaki- such a handsome and wicked man, would you not say?"

Naruto went from overheated to chilled in a matter of a few seconds. She closed her eyes, wishing she could strangle each one of them. How dare they insult her family! She did not mind them speaking ill of herself. Calling her family odd, it was crossing the limits. Everything in that damned room was about appearances, pretenses… lies. Was it so unforgivable to be honest about one's feelings?

It was a mistake to come to the ball. She was trying to prove something to herself… that she did not care about Sasuke, even though she did. That her heart was not broken, even if it was torn into a million pieces. She sat quietly, knitted her gloved fingers until Sakura brought her a glass of water. Then, the stern companion left to find Kyuubi.

Her attention was diverted when there was stir amongst the trio. One of them squealed as if Christmas had come early. "Look how handsome he is!"

"Absolutely divine," the others agreed. "I wonder if he is coming here to ask someone for a waltz."

"I hope it is me!"

Despite herself, Naruto was curious. She lifted her head to catch a glimpse of the man. Her eyes met the steady gaze of Itachi Uchiha and she settled back into her seat. He was dressed in elegant evening attire and a white cravat.

She was most taken aback when he stopped in front of her, a pale hand extended as he bowed politely. "Will you do me the honor, Miss Uzumaki?" So surprised was she to be asked by the host of the evening, she could not do anything but stare at him with wide eyes. The corners of his lips twitched in amusement. "You flatter me, Madam, by staring at my profile so blatantly. I assure it is not as fascinating as my dancing skills."

She closed her mouth indignantly. "I am sure it is, my lord." She smiled. "But I am afraid I must, most civilly, decline." He raised an elegant eyebrow. She explained hastily before he took offence, "I am not feeling well. All thanks to this demonic feminine contraption known as the corset." She could tell that her speech had shocked him. He was not the only man.

After a moment of stunned hesitation, he said, "How can I help?"

She almost laughed; his eyes were filled with sincere concern. "My friend has gone to bring my brother. Until then, I must endure." She paused a little before suggesting, "Would you mind keeping me company, good sir? I am terribly bored."

"Are you not concerned, madam, to be seen with a gentleman, unchaperoned? This could potentially ruin your reputation."

"I hardly think a little conversation could be so damaging. Far as I know, you are a very respectable man. If I wanted my reputation ruined, I would have gone to some portly old man"- she nodded towards a thick man who was drinking violently and flirting shamelessly with the pillars- "like him."

He half-smiled. "As it so happens, that man is an earl and a relation of mine."

She flushed in embarrassment. "You will forgive me, I hope, considering that I was blissfully unaware of the connection." She drew in a quick breath. "And you have to agree that his behavior is reproachful."

"Shameful," he conjoined, amusement lacing his tone.

They were quiet for the next few moments. She could not help stealing a glance at him. There were traces of Sasuke in his face. Itachi's features were more defined but she found Sasuke infinitely more handsome. An explosion of pain filled her heart as the thoughts of her beloved crossed her mind. If she were not at a ball, she would be in her room, crying into her pillow.

That is exactly what she wished to do.

Gathering her emotions, she asked as nonchalantly as she could manage, "How is your brother? I recall reading that he had been injured during a siege."

Itachi regarded for several long moments. "Quite well." He hesitated briefly. "I wanted him to return home. He has been on the battlefield far too long. This injury was the last straw. I offered to have him brought back instantly but my foolish brother refused."

She smiled wistfully. Yes, that was her Sasuke. He would not leave his comrades alone, no matter what. "He is a brave man, choosing to stay and fulfill his duties in that awful place."

"How surprising. He gave the same reason." She inclined her head stiffly, wondering where her brother was. "By any chance, is my brother an acquaintance of yours?"

She laughed bitterly at the description. "No, my lord."

"How disappointing. You are a charming friend to have."

"You need not flatter me unnecessarily." She rolled her eyes. "Your brother certainly did not. According to him I am more suited to forests than elegant soirees."

"What a foolish thing to say." Itachi was watching her almost inquisitively now. Her expressions must have given away how much she yearned for Sasuke. Drat! "Say, Miss Uzumaki, would you happen to know any Miss Namikaze… Mitsuki Namikaze?"

Color left her cheeks. She tried to rein her emotions under a stoic façade. It was horrifyingly harder than she had imagined. Praying desperately that he had not noticed, she stammered, "No, my lord. I do not." He frowned slightly. "May I ask why you are inquiring about this…Miss Namikaze?"

"Nothing of importance." He waved her query away carelessly. Further conversation was interrupted as her brother reached them. Both of them stood up.

"Were you tormenting my little sister, Viscount?" Kyuubi questioned, smirking sardonically. "One thinks Viscounts would have better things to do." Naruto was about to correct her brother but Itachi beat her to it.

"I was merely taking care of a guest, which is my duty as a host." To her surprise, both men shook hands amiably as Sakura came to stand next to her. She clasped her hand comfortingly. Naruto smiled gratefully at her. Soon, her brother was leading her to the terrace as Sakura and Itachi followed. Once in open air, she drank in air greedily, enjoying the cool evening breeze that brushed against her cheeks. At last, some semblance of peace came to her.

She rejoiced in the sensation.

"Are you feeling better now, Naru?" Sakura asked kindly.

"Yes." She sighed. "I feel wonderful. Thank you." She looked at her companion thoughtfully. "Why do you not remove the headgear, Sakura? Though I loathe agreeing with my brother on this but it does look quite dreadful. You have such lovely hair. They compliment your stunning eyes."

Sakura blushed prettily. "I- thank you, dear. I know you mean no harm but do not ask this of me. I have some nightmares I wish to avoid as long as I am able to." Though she did not understand much, Naruto nodded solemnly. "It is a beautiful night, is it not?"

"Certainly, it is. The best I have ever seen."

"Now, you are jesting, Naru. It surely cannot be the best."

Naruto did not respond verbally. She only grinned. Sakura huffed but a moment later, she grinned along. Then, they were laughing for no plausible reason at all, attracting curious glances.

"My God, I never expected to see the day Haruno would laugh." Immediately, Sakura swallowed her humor and glared irately at Kyuubi. "Do not stop at my expense. I daresay Haruno in good humor is rare as it is. Let me not be the _raison d'être_ that ruined this glorious event. _"_

"You have already done so, Kyuubi," Naruto informed wryly.

Kyuubi smirked mockingly. "Blast it. I never realized. Do forgive my insolence, ladies." She rolled her eyes, well aware that he was only trying to get a rise out of Sakura. Some minutes later, they descended to the ball room. Kushina greeted them at the entrance, no doubt awaiting them. She thanked Itachi for being such a gracious host.

Itachi bowed respectfully.

"Your father is getting the carriage ready," Kushina informed, exhaustion clear in her voice. Itachi accompanied them outside and helped Naruto into the coach. "Thank you for everything, Viscount Uchiha," she said warmly. He nodded and helped Kushina in too.

"Your father must be proud of you," Minato said, shaking his hand, "and your brother too." He smiled gently. "Last I saw both of you; you were cradling an infant Sasuke with big adoring eyes. You threatened to harm anyone who so much as looked at your little brother."

"I am told I was like a wolf." Itachi looked at the man curiously. "Forgive me, sir. I cannot seem to place you in my memory."

Minato smiled understandably. "You were quite young then, son. I also bore a different name at that time." Seeing his bemused expression, Minato explained, "Namikaze. I used to be Minato Namikaze."

 **-x-x-x-x-**

 **Year end brings an end to the war!**

29 December, 1834

Chouji Akimichi

 _After four years of living in despair, crying for the countless lives lost and the numerous prayers made for the safety of sons and husbands, a ray of light has at last burst forth, vanquishing grey clouds in its wake. The war has finally come to an end with our alliance emerging victorious in the end. Peace negotiations are expected to begin next month in Kumogakure._

 _It is time to rejoice, make merry and laugh._

 _It will not be far-fetched to say that this victory was hard earned. All totaled, more than one hundred and fifteen thousand soldiers have died on the front. The causes varying from wounds to diseases. No one can put a price on the lives lost._

 _The surviving members of the regiments are expected to return in March. Special honors have been announced for Captain Uchiha and Captain Nara. The arrival of Captain Uchiha, in particular, is keenly awaited as he has been declared a national hero. Many towns have released long testimonials, rewards, jewels, ceremonial swords and medallions to be awarded to him._

 _As it remains, Captain Uchiha will be welcomed back with open arms._

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 **A/N:** Here is chapter 10. It plays more into the plot of this fanfiction. And finally, Sasuke is coming back.

Leave your reviews behind to let me know your thoughts regarding this chapter.

 **-x-x-x-x-**

A massive thank you to the following people for sending me your views.

 **Cat Beats, punklena, 93SQ, HRHPrincessTricia, thinks-too-hard, ohkyungmi, DanteAzel, AlenaPatano, Guest 1, Guest 2, Guest 3, 2468097531**

Your lovely reviews left me extremely happy.

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Thank you for the suggestion, **AlenaPatano.** I absolutely loved Yuri! On ice. I watched the entire season in the same day. I couldn't help indulging myself in the anime. I do hope they release a second season.

 **-x-x-x-x-**

This chapter has been edited.


	12. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

 _Excuse this letter's being like a hotchpotch. It's incoherent, but I can't help it. Sitting in a hotel room one can't write better. Excuse its being long, it's not my fault. My pen ran away with me—besides, I wanted to go on talking to you. It's three o'clock in the night. My hand is tired. The wick of the candle wants snuffing, I can hardly see._ ~Anton Chekhov  
 **-x-x-x-x-**

 _24 January 1835_

 _Naruto_

 _What the devil were you thinking? Leaving home without telling anyone and that too with Haruno! Two hastily scribbled lines do not count as notifying, much as you would argue otherwise, Naru._

 _Tell me, dear sister, is there any end to this foolishness you happen to possess in abundance? Did you, by any chance, happen to think that I would rejoice in the fact that you were missing? I do wish for respite from your presence, every now and then, but a month is too damned long!_

 _If you were so eager to see Lady Tsunade, why not tell me? I would have taken you there myself. I would have appreciated travelling a mere 30 miles much more than worrying over your safety for days. That little note you left behind, informing your intentions- it utterly failed to calm our fears, despite your repeated assurances._

 _I hope Lady Tsunade slammed the door in your face._

 _Clearly eccentricity runs in the family because mother has been entertaining an incredible notion that Viscount Uchiha made you an offer and you, being the shy sweetheart that you are, were overcome by an episode of bashfulness and decided to leave to gather your thoughts._

 _That was the first time, I believe, I ever heard Naruto and coy used in the same sentence._

 _I suppose you think that you can dupe me, sis. Your pitiable assessment of my intelligence disappoints me greatly. Suffice to say, I am not in the least deceived by your poorly executed fleeing. Something has you on the edge and it is to do with Viscount Uchiha paying you a visit, is it not? It has nothing to do with a wedding too. You have gotten yourself into some sort of trouble, have you not?_

 _I have no hope that you would be telling me anything willingly. But know this, sister, I have every intention of getting to the end of this matter. Something tells me, I know what this is about._

 _Now that I have made my point clear, why the devil would you run away with Haruno of all people? Do you not have enough of little Miss Porcupine at home that you had to take her along? If I were compelled to spend time with her, which thankfully I am not, I would have jumped out of the nearest window. She is as unpleasant as unpleasant gets. Why would you want her to ruin the precious time required to contemplate the pros and cons of marrying a Viscount?_

 _I wonder how you convinced her to join in your mad scheme. It does not seem that Haruno has a single reckless bone in her body._

 _All said and done, do take care of yourself, Naru. Your actions are far from prudent. They are cowardly and weak but I do believe, you have a good explanation. So promise me, you shall work on whatever it is that is bothering you and then come home soon._

 _And if possible, return without Prickles._

 _With love_

 _Kyuubi Uzumaki_

 **-x-x-x-x-**

Naruto sighed in bliss, leaning back and watching as the water, from the stream, gushed over her bare feet. This is what heaven must feel like, she thought dreamily. It was a beautiful evening, not too cold, the sky crisscrossed with waves of yellow and orange. Soothing wisps of aroma, from the herbal garden nearby, flew alongside the gentle breeze.

She stayed in her little paradise until the sky above darkened into deep blue of the night. Reluctantly, she got up and trudged back to the small house, placed at the farther end of the brook. She had not worn any shoes before setting out so, when she felt a jab of pain near her heel, she released a weary curse. It was the fourth time in the week yet she still preferred to walk barefoot.

Tsunade's new residence was much like her previous one, only smaller. The cream colored cottage was surrounded by flowers and herbs of all sorts and situated close to the bank in a small village. It was truly a wonderful place to live. Calm and peaceful. Since, it was away from the hustle and bustle of town, Naruto liked it all the more. She would love to live here infinitely, she thought every morning when she woke to the sound of birds chirping and old hag barking orders to the maids downstairs.

She was free to do as she pleased, without any fear of cruel sneers. Sakura, being her companion, often discouraged her wild explorations but Naruto persisted until she won the arguments. So, she spent major part of her day investigating the village, its vegetation and animals. To her surprise, the women of the village were genuinely fond of her. She was utterly fascinated by the stories they narrated, their opinions and their knowledge of the forests. In return, they loved listening to her tales of the balls, soirees and tea-parties.

Not having the heart to disappoint the young girls, she sometimes painted a much colorful picture than she thought the events deserved. She had already given away some of her best gowns to the lasses. Much more than their heartily expressed gratitude, she loved the sparkle and life that burst into their young, innocent eyes on receiving the gift.

Needless to say, Sakura had been impressed as well as angry.

Once inside, Naruto was not surprised to find Sakura waiting for her. She smiled, "Hello, Sakura."

Sakura shook her head in exasperation. "You took long," she said at last. "Dinner will start in half an hour. I believe, you shall be ready by then?" Naruto nodded, laughing inside. She wondered what made Sakura so stingy. Shrugging, she headed towards the kitchen. She needed saltwater to clean her feet.

"You must refrain from such activities, Miss Uzumaki," the head maid said, setting a pail of water on stove. "No one can infer that you are an earl's daughter due to your unladylike behavior." Naruto gave her a tight smile and a short nod. Taking that as encouragement, the woman continued in her scolding. Thankfully, Naruto was used to this.

When she was finished with cleaning, she joined Tsunade and Sakura at the dining table. The two women were involved in some important, deep discussion so, Naruto said her prayers silently and began eating. She wrinkled her nose at the meat dishes. Being a champion of animal rights, she refused to eat anything that required killing or maiming of an innocent beast.

Naruto started, breaking out of her reverie when she heard forceful the creak of a chair moving. A second later, Sakura was dashing out of the room. Naruto glanced at the older blonde, only to find honey colored eyes fixed upon herself. "If you are done, child, I would like to have a word with you." Wordlessly, she got to her feet and followed Tsunade into her study.

It was Naruto's second most favorite place in the house. The room was stacked with books of all sorts, mostly on plants, stacked from one corner to the next. To Naruto's absolute delight, she had discovered some rare and fulfilling texts in the collection. She settled on cushiony chair near the fireplace.

"Be honest with me, child. How do you think of Sakura?" Tsunade asked gravely.

"Oh," Naruto answered instantly, "I absolutely adore her. She is witty, kind and caring. On certain days, she reminds me of a hedgehog, I confess but on the whole, she is the nicest creature." There was no reaction from Tsunade except tightening of her hands in her lap.

"Is that all? Given you inquisitive nature, I expected more." Naruto pursed her lips indignantly. There was no need to discredit her intellect and in such open terms too. Of course, she had her own curiosities with respect to her companion. Sakura never talked about her childhood or her family or her life before she became a companion. She guarded her secrets zealously, like a lioness protecting her cubs. "You have a great deal of common sense, Naru and you are not afraid of saying what you feel. So, tell me the truth."

Naruto drew in a breath and then released it slowly. "She is in trouble, is she not?" Tsunade nodded after a hesitant pause, confirming her fears. "I suspected so. At every social gathering, she tries her absolute best to fade into the walls. Her hair… even the clothes she wears." Naruto looked earnestly into Tsunade's eyes. "She is lying about her identity, is she not?"

Silently, Tsunade admired the worry and concern embedded into the voice of the younger woman. Despite knowing that Sakura was deceiving her, Naruto cared for her still. "I do admit that Sakura is caught up in some nefarious circumstances but it is not within my rights to explain them. You shall have to ask her."

Naruto shook her head helplessly. "But she does not tell me anything!" she protested.

Tsunade grimaced, knowing the truth in the statement. "She has no choice, child or otherwise she puts you in danger too."

"Whatever do you mean, old hag?" She let out a pained cry when Tsunade slapped her head.

"For God's sake, child. You are four and twenty!" Tsunade huffed, drawing back her hand. "Sakura has tried very hard to bury her past but it keeps on resurfacing. Only this time, she needs all the protection she can get."

"Is she a fallen woman? Naruto blurted out, not meeting amber eyes. "Just tell me this." Tsunade pondered on the subject for far too long, she thought vehemently. It was a simple yes or no question. She was prepared for either outcome.

At last, Tsunade replied grimly, "Yes."

Naruto sucked in a harsh breath, reeling from shock. Even though, she had believed that she would be fine with either yes or no, the stunned realization coursing through her spoke otherwise. My God, she had not expected this. Suddenly, the secrets that Sakura had appeared much more dangerous. The gravity of Tsunade's warning settled in. "Good God!"

"Does this change your opinion of her?"

"Of course not, hag, but I do believe I am allowed the privilege of bafflement. I am a human, after all."

Pleased, Tsunade decided to overlook the blatantly disrespectful tone. "Very well," she murmured, "then I suppose I can leave her safety in your hands?"

"I do not even know what she needs protection from," Naruto pointed out wryly.

Tsunade half smiled. "I am depending upon you to find out."

She glared, annoyance flashing in her blue eyes. "How do you expect me to accomplish that? I do not think asking her directly would do any good. I have a feeling that she might prefer flaying herself over revealing the truth."

" _Might_ implies probability, child."

"I suppose I must try once," Naruto mused aloud. "Consequences be damned." After the declaration, the two sat in companionable silence; the only sound being the gentle hissing and snapping of embers and wood.

"You have not yet told me the reason for such an abrupt visit, Naru," Tsunade said, breaking the quiet. "You did not even inform your family properly, regarding this."

Naruto contemplated the question, at a complete loss for words. "I wanted a change of scene," she whispered, standing up. "I shall retire now, hag. Have a good night." With that she ran out of the room and into the chamber that she shared with Sakura, heart beating fast. How did one explain the perpetual emptiness that opened inside them? Her entire existence was hinged upon a man. The one man she could not have because she had betrayed him. She lied to him in the cheapest, cruelest manner possible.

When she had stopped corresponding with him, she had spent each day praying for him to come home, yearning after him. Now that he was returning, she could not bear facing him and pretending that she did not love him, that he meant naught to her. How was she to survive such punishment?

Talking to his brother had been the last straw. Somehow, Itachi had figured out that she and Mitsuki were the same person. She had tried to deny it at first, laughing as if he were jesting until she could no more. His face held neither sympathy nor empathy. He was merely making observations about her. He did not make her feel guilty or even force her to reconsider her devious actions. It was his silence that made her speak the truth.

And it was that very silence that made her leave her home.

She wanted to be away, escape from the confines of her thoughts. Yes, she intended to go back and face Sasuke but she found herself lacking the strength to see him without reaching out to hold him in her arms. The one month she had spent in Kusagakure, she had put all her efforts into forgetting about Sasuke. When time would come, she would watch him from afar with a smile.

 **-x-x-x-x-**

Over the course of next week, Miss Uzumaki attempted to talk to Sakura about her past several times but each time, she failed miserably. Either her companion would not pick up the hint or she would stiffen and ignore that Naruto had spoken at all. Naruto felt defeated and exhausted as she readied herself for the picnic someone in the village had organized.

With much enthusiasm, she tossed her corset away. She wished to breathe, thank you very much. Truth be told, she did not see why women had to wear such an over-constricting contraption. If men preferred tiny waists, then maybe they should wear it. Why must women bear breathlessness in order to please men?

She wore a simple, embroidered muslin gown over her petticoat and arranged her long, golden hair in a neat bun. Before stepping out into the coat, she put on a bonnet and her favorite shoes. It seemed that every woman from the village had come, dressed in her best clothes. Some, Naruto noticed with childish joy, were wearing her gowns. As soon as they saw her, she was surrounded by giggles and playful teases.

Compared to the other picnics she had the misfortune of attending, Naruto enjoyed this one thoroughly. The conversation was rich, stimulating and not at all restricted to the weather or the latest fashion. They talked of food, forests, themselves, their resources and life.

Naruto loved it.

Throughout the evening, she missed her companion too. Sakura did not wish to attend and was occupied with reading some books she had wanted to read. Feeling bad for Sakura's absence, Naruto had been handed homemade pies and cakes with clear instructions that they were for Sakura only.

It was with a light heart that Naruto trudged back. She stopped at the winding curve, however, on noticing two dark horses. Who could the horses belong to? Despite her curiosity, she could not help but want to pet the animals. Cautiously, she reached them. "Hello," she murmured to the handsome, black stallion. She stretched a hand slowly, allowing him to see that she meant no harm. She smiled when the beast lowered his head, as if he was mesmerized by her. "You are a sweetheart," she said, running her fingers through his fine mane. He whined and nuzzled her hand.

She laughed. A moment later, she jumped when she realized that the second one, annoyed by lack of her attention was trying to eat her bonnet. "You brute!" Her laughter rang clear and joyful. She wondered if she could take them for a ride. Just as she was about to saddle the first horse, a voice interrupted her.

"Do not even dare, Naruto Uzumaki!"

She rolled her eyes and whispered to the horses, "The demon has arrived." She turned around. "I was merely talking to them," she defended, eyes twinkling merrily. Tsunade, however, did not respond in kind and pulled her away from the animals forcefully. When Naruto opened her mouth to protest, a stern glare from Tsunade shut her up. Two big boned men, she had not noticed before, came stomping to the horses, straddled them and rode away.

Tsunade released a ragged breath, unclasping Naruto's hand. She rubbed her forehead wearily, muttering a string of curses underneath her breath. She avoided whatever Naruto put forth and entered the house, making sure to slam the door after. All of this was puzzling Naruto greatly. What was going on? And where was Sakura?

"Go to your room, Naruto."

Naruto did not argue, quickly rushing up the stairs and knocking on the door when she found it locked from the inside. "It is me, Sakura," she said when the door did not open. She heard shuffling before the door was flung open and a crying Sakura flew to her. Bewildered, she held her sobbing friend and rubbed her back soothingly. "What is the matter, Sakura?" she asked quietly.

Sakura sniffed, unable to find her voice. She was trembling in fear and revulsion. How had they discovered her? She did not want to leave the life she was living. She loved living like this, surrounded by people who genuinely cared for her well being. She did not want to go back to how it used to be. As she sobbed into her friend's bosom, she prayed to every deity she could remember. "We need to leave, Naru," she mustered, voice shaking horribly. "We need to go back."

"Why?"

"Please, Naru. I cannot stay here anymore. Let us go back. I beg you."

Naruto was quiet for a long, tense minute. "We shall leave tomorrow morning, then." Sakura nodded, thanking her friend profusely. "On one condition, Sakura. You will tell me the truth. Everything."

Sakura froze, not able to meet sincere, cerulean eyes. How could she tell Naruto of her past? She wanted to erase it from her memory but it kept coming back to haunt her. What would Naruto think if she told her that Sakura was nothing more than lies? If she told Naruto, she would share it with her brother. What would Kyuubi think? Would he even wish to associate with someone as disgraceful as Sakura?

"Sakura?"

She snapped out of her thoughts, meeting Naruto's eyes finally. She did not find anything except boundless acceptance and trust. Naruto would understand, she argued with her darkness. Swallowing back the bile rising in her throat, she said, "Yes. I will."

Naruto smiled. "Good."

 **-x-x-x-x-x-**

 **A/N:** So, this is chapter 11 done. I wrote two versions of this chapter. The first half was pretty much the same in both cases. I struggled with the second half. In the first case, the two horses belonged to Sasuke and Konohamaru. Since Tsunade is his aunt, he decided to pay her a visit along with Sasuke before he left for his grandfather's and Sasuke departed for Konoha. So, Naruto and Sasuke would have met. For some reason, I got stuck there. I felt as if it was too rushed. I don't know.

So, I wrote another variation, adding the back story of Sakura into the chapter and it fits better, I think.

Let me know if you think the same or not.

 **-x-x-x-x-x-**

Also, in the last chapter, it was one hundred and fifteen thousand. Thank you, **Cat Beats** and **thinks-too-hard** for pointing the error out to me. It's really silly that I made this mistake since I deal with numbers quite a number of times in a day, being a science student. It only goes to show that overconfidence kills. LOL

If you happen to find some grammatical or spelling errors, please tell me so that I can mend them.

 **-x-x-x-x-x-**

Thank you to the following people for leaving behind their thoughts. I hope this chapter lived up to your expectations.

 **Punklena, HRHPrincessTricia, Cat Beats, thinks-too-hard, Itooshii Koneko, TrappedInHappiness, LyKatherine Adhara, Ahryielle, rii young , AlenaPatano, TheBeauty, 2468097531, Red, Guest, Crucifix HiME, Rain-XIX, Ciel0714, A fan, The Gaki, Cece Klendale, TheAdorableNerd**

To _AraelDranoth_ , everyone is entitled to their own opinion. If you didn't like this fanfic, you didn't like it. At least, you were civil about it. You said that the characters were laughably OOC and it irked you. Honestly, I really don't understand the concept of OOC. I mean this is fanfiction, which means we get to play with popular characters however we wish.

For some reason _rii young_ , the site is not picking up your name correctly. Sorry.

 **-x-x-x-x-x-**

 **A/N:** Would you guys like Itachi pairing up with someone too? I am thinking about it. Let me know your thoughts.


	13. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

 _"_ _I am tired, beloved, of chafing my heart against_

 _The want of you;_

 _Of squeezing it into little ink drops,_

 _And posting it._

 _And scalding alone, here, under the fire_

 _Of the great moon."_

-Amy Lowell, "The letter"

 **-x-x-x-x-**

 _8 April 1835_

 _Mitsuki_

 _Highly publicized as it was, I am sure you must be aware that I have returned. There was a great deal of hullabaloo at the port, the day we arrived. A throng of people had gathered to welcome us. Tears of joy, reunion and pride were being shed for those who had made it out alive while families of lives lost grieved silently on the side._

 _After staying at the estates for a week, I took residence in my brother's townhouse, away from the public hubbub. It has been a fortnight since._

 _What a horrendous fortnight it has been!_

 _It has been nothing short of a nightmare. My pictures, taken from newspapers, are displayed in shop windows and the stories of my bravery repeated, exaggeratedly, in taverns and coffeehouses. The day after I came back, I was conferred with laurels and trophies._

 _Were I the same man as four years ago, I would have delighted in the celebrations quite eagerly. I adored being the centre of attention but I am a changed man and I cannot find it in myself to join in the festivities, especially when so many lives have been sacrificed to achieve them. I simply cannot rejoice. I am troubled and guilty. How do I explain it to others?_

 _Polite society expects me to behave in a certain way, as if I had never even left. I am expected to be present in ceremonies and banquets, held in my honor, and adhere to proper social decorum. As it so happens, the list of etiquettes is so blazing long that it gives me a headache, just recalling it._

 _I wish you were with me. Would you find it impudent if I put in writing, how much I long for you each day? I am nearly mad with longing for the sweet, guileless voice that became my savior. I long to hold you in my arms, leaves imprints of my hands on your soul… breathe the air from your lungs… I want to love you lik-_

 ** _-x-x-x-x-_**

Captain Uchiha jumped to his feet, turning around fast while his hand, instinctively, reached for the weapon that he no longer carried. His heart thrummed loudly in his ears, deafening him momentarily against the surroundings. It took him a long minute to realize that it was only the sound of a door opening.

Viscount Itachi, his elder brother, leaned against the doorway and was watching him warily. Sasuke, breathing heavily, peered out of the nearest window and was surprised to note that it was morning. As soon as the observation settled within, he felt extremely tired.

"Another nightmare?" Unable to formulate a coherent answer, he nodded slowly before dropping back into his chair. He was infinitely grateful when his brother did not prod any further. "Breakfast begins in an hour, brother. I hope you do not intend to deny me your company this morning too." Itachi took a thoughtful pause and smirked. "If it helps all help is on leave today."

When the door shut behind Itachi, Sasuke relaxed his tense shoulders. His nerves were alight with anxiety and distress. A deep and stark pain took birth in his chest and spread to the rest of his body. He dare not close his eyes for the fear of what he would see. There was too much blood, death and decay in his dreams.

He shook his head impatiently, trying to redirect his thoughts. But the image remained, tormenting him. He was lonely and filled with equal parts grief and anger. He did not even begin to know how he was to go about addressing these problems but finding Mitsuki seemed like a good way to start. She was the only one, he believed, capable of fulfilling the gaping emptiness that had sprouted within him.

He would rest here for a few days. When he felt more like his former self, he would go look for Mitsuki. He was uncertain as to how he was supposed to approach her, after the way she had ended their correspondence. He blamed himself; his abrupt confession must have caught her off-guard. He had been impetuous.

Rest assured, he hoped to correct it.

At the moment, however, it was fairly clear that his old way with words had left him. Whereas he had once been charming and tranquil, he was, now, guarded and impassive.

Part of the problem was that he was not sleeping well. Rather, he could not sleep most of the nights.

Any slight noise- creaking of a window, rustling of leaves- woke him to full heart pounding promptness. And it was not restricted to nights too. It happened during day time too. Yesterday only, a maid had dropped some china and Sasuke had nearly jumped out of his shoes. He had, out of habit, reached for the gun before realizing, in the next moment, that he was not on the field anymore. Without him knowing, his rifle had become a part of his existence. He often felt its phantom presence.

He could not bear anyone discussing the war or praising his heroics. It made him immeasurably irate to hear people talking about war as if they could understand how it had been. This was the only reason, Sasuke avoided going to any celebratory function or the seasonal events. It was highly unfair that people who had never experienced the horrors of war were allowed to speak about it over a dish of cold fish.

Sasuke shook his head and after a hesitant pause, pulled the unfinished letter to give it a read and then shoved it into _Pandora_ with the rest of the unsent correspondence. It was routine. Since coming to Konohagakure, every night he could not sleep, he would write a letter addressed to Mitsuki and pour his heart onto the page.

Next morning, he threw it into _Pandora_.

 **-x-x-x-x-**

It was with a slightly grim face that captain Uchiha stepped into the parlor where the Viscount was having tea. He had just been to see Kurama and the damned beast was as hostile as ever. For some reason, Kurama did not like being in the estates. He was restless and uncontrollably antagonistic.

Once, Sasuke had dragged the dratted fox into the mansion, much to the chagrin of his brother. Kurama had barked at the maids. He had barked at a fly on the wall. He had barked at the vases. And even bit a poor, terrified butler.

Itachi, it appeared, knew where he had come from. He smirked in vague amusement and asked sardonically, "Shall I pour?"

Sasuke went to join him on the table and answered drily, "Thank you."

"Sugar? Milk?" Itachi continued in the same tone.

It was a parody of teatime manners but he nonetheless obliged the Viscount. "None." To his annoyance, Itachi added milk into the tea and stirred it lightly before handing him the steaming cup. Sasuke concentrated on the hot vapors rising above amber liquid, while he struggled with a sudden burst of rage erupting in his veins. This, too, was a new problem, these surges of emotions which were entirely uncalled for and out of proportion with respect to the circumstances.

The brothers drank their tea in ensuing silence. It was only when they were interrupted by wild barking and shrill, helpless cries of a bird that Itachi dared to speak. Sasuke was sitting, back straight and rigid in his seat. The lack of emotion on the younger man's face tore at Itachi's heart. In a very nonchalant manner, he enquired, "Tell me brother, are you aware that another title has been added to your list of appellations?"

"Appellations," Sasuke repeated cautiously.

Itachi nodded, greatly enjoying his brother's discomfort. " _The hermit_ _conquérante_." He took a pause to relish in the grimace that filtered across Sasuke's features. "It is quite admirable how the words manage to relay brusquely between esteem and jest."

Sasuke resisted the urge to groan, in no terms did he wish to gratify Itachi. "I do not give a damn," he said, glaring at the opposite wall, "Whatever the devil I chose to do is my damned decision. They can go to hell for all I care."

Not for the first time, Itachi thought that it was a shame that Sasuke had imposed solitude upon himself, when it probably would have benefited him to have amiable company and pleasant distractions. Setting down his half finished cup of tea, he said lightly, "I find it hard to disagree with the masses, brother. You cannot live the rest of your life as a recluse, much as you intend to."

"I have no such intentions, I assure you." Sasuke hesitated for a long minute, as if disliking having to share even a sliver of his thoughts. "I need time."

Itachi sighed. "This is getting tiring, Sasuke. You have been shut inside this house too long. Yes, you do not wish to be seen in public but I do not understand why that should stop you from exploring the countryside. As it so conveniently happens, Konohagakure has the most enchanting landscape- lined by forests, green meadows and passing streams."

Sasuke showed no change in expression, as inscrutable as ever. "What of Mitsuki?" Itachi asked inquisitively, anything to get a response out of his little brother. "You need to find her identity, do you not? Unless war rotted whatever intelligence you possessed, I suppose you know that you need to get out of this house to accomplish that."

Sasuke scowled into his teacup. Of course, he wanted to meet her. He was dying to soak in her presence and feel _alive_. He huffed in frustration and annoyance. The viscount was testing him and damn it, Itachi was proving to be successful. "I know that," he growled threateningly, anger boiling under the stretch of his skin. "I am not like you, Itachi. I cannot organize my feelings however I please." He paused to draw in a ragged breath, a frown marring his brow. "My thoughts are in a disordered and incoherent state of obscurity. How do you expect me to find her when I am lost to myself?"

Sasuke stared at the pattern on the cup intently. He did not wish to see pity or sympathy in his brother's eyes. He just wanted to be left alone, until he felt a bit like his old self. "Very well, then," Itachi said eventually. "A week is all you get, brother. Make a coherent whole of your thoughts until then. After that you will attend the evening gathering followed by dinner, held here and if you are fortunate enough, you might make the acquaintance of the woman you seek." Sasuke opened his mouth to protest but Itachi cut in sternly, "It is non-negotiable, brother."

The predicament was so ludicrous that a startled laugh escaped Sasuke. "Heavens, brother! Are you forgetting that I am seven and twenty? I am not inclined to indulge your every whim."

"Your thoughts- in your own words, little brother- are in a disordered and incoherent state of obscurity. I find it my duty to aid you in whatever way I can, being so skilled in managing my own feelings, as you put earlier."

It was insistence mixed with concern shining in Itachi's eyes that made Sasuke swallow the arguments and consider the proposition thoroughly. He knew that he needed to make a move. Perhaps, a push was exactly what he required. But then, would he be ready? He felt unprepared and insufficient. What difference would seven days make? His speculative gaze darkened considerably.

 _Please come home and find me._

In the past, he had wondered if he were incapable of love. He had been young… free of responsibilities. Itachi was the one destined for dukedom and Sasuke, as the second son, was reared as a spare. Overjoyed by the brilliance of his eldest son, the old duke rarely paid any attention to Sasuke. While Itachi was the perfect heir, Sasuke had been the wilder, rougher son, sensual, arrogant and rakish. It was expected of him and he did not disappoint.

The very notion of love was laughable to him. None of his love affairs had ever lasted more than a matter of months, and although they had blazed on a physical level, they had never surpassed that. Eventually, no particular woman had ever seemed all that different from the rest.

Until those letters.

Until Mitsuki.

"Mark my words, Itachi. I am going to make the woman who wrote those letters mine."

"I am marking your words," Itachi assured, an amused smirk spreading across his mouth. "It remains to be seen if you live up to them."

 **-x-x-x-x-**

A week later, Captain Uchiha attended the evening affair with a vague feeling of panic rising in his chest. Despite his brother's reassurances, the house was still more crowded than he had expected. As soon as his presence was noted, eyes turned to him tactlessly.

Although he would have preferred to wear civilian attire, he was obliged to wear his uniform of navy blue with silver braiding and epaulettes. Worse, he was also obliged to wear all the medals bestowed upon him, not donning them would have been in bad form and cause much uproar. The badges of honor, to Sasuke, represented events he would rather forget.

The attention he garnered from women only added to his unease. It appeared that he now ranked higher than his brother on the marriage mart. In a hilarious turn of events, Sasuke felt like a helpless prey against the mothers vying to snag him for their daughters. Minute after painstakingly long minute, he was cornered by someone and forced to make a conversation.

 _All I can say with certainty is that when you return, you will be welcomed with open arms by the many young maidens you have yearning for your affections._

He recollected her remarks with fondness and slight annoyance.

"My dear Captain Uchiha." A light throaty giggle followed as Sasuke tried to put a name to the woman. He failed. "Dashing as ever," she exclaimed, turquoise eyes twinkling with approval. She extended a gloved hand. For a moment, he stared at it bemused before he bent over it and closed his eyes briefly. "More so, if I may add." She smiled at him. "How does it feel to have so many medals pinned to one's chest?"

Heavy, he thought drily. "Forgive me, madam," he said instead. "But I cannot seem to recall you."

The light in her eyes dimmed momentarily before she gathered herself with a laugh. "Of course, you do not." She paused, smiling at him again. "Good heavens, it has been too long! My name is Ino Yamanaka, from the House of Yamanakas."

Sasuke nodded politely, still not remembering ever knowing her.

"I am extremely cross with you, captain. You have been so unforgivably elusive since returning." Her lips curved in a provocative smile. "But of course, that only served to make you more sought after."

"It is not my wish to be sought after," he said through clenched teeth and before she could say something even sillier, he continued sharply, "Pardon me, madam. I see an old acquaintance and if you will excuse me." He bowed and walked away, not even waiting to be excused.

He made his way through the crowd, impatient and tense.

Where the devil was Mitsuki?

He scoffed at the question. How was he supposed to locate her when he had no idea regarding her appearance? It had never occurred to him to ask her.

 _Now you know how to find me in a crowd, sir. Simply follow the scent of scorched stockings!_

The suggestion brought a faint smile to touch his lips.

He wondered if he should enquire about her but the idea of striking a conversation was appalling as well as irking. He remembered asking Itachi about her and receiving a white lie as answer. Apparently, Itachi had not been able to find her. Sasuke highly doubted the possibility. When Itachi wanted something, he found a way to do it. For some reason, his brother was eluding him.

"Good God! Is that a fox?" A woman cried, her shrill voice ringing through the entire hall. She was looking out through the large window. Kurama was running around the garden and barking at the guests. "I wonder if the Viscount knows. How dreadfully impudent of a guest to bring it here!" Satisfied that she held everyone's attention, the plump woman continued voraciously, "My word, it must be the Uzumaki girl! No one can forget her episodes of peculiarity."

Murmurs of assent rose in the lightly scented air and despite himself, Sasuke felt defensive of the girl. Untamed and odd- that is how he remembered her. It was a combination he had not come across in a woman before her. The brazen frankness in her character was definitely off-putting. He had heard men grimly say that they would walk on a bed of nails repeatedly rather than hold a conversation with her.

"Unfortunate as it is, Miss Uzumaki is not in attendance tonight." Itachi stepped forth, a vicious glint in his dark eyes. "And neither is her family. Had they been, I assure you, the jibe would have definite repercussions. You would not wish to anger the earl, madam, would you?"

Sasuke was surprised by the protective stance. What did the girl mean to him?

"The fox belongs to my brother. It was a great aid in Otogakure and is a part of this land now."

He saw people whispering to each other, no doubt, wondering if it counted as gossip or not. Meanwhile, the woman turned an indignant shade of scarlet and spun on her heel with a huff and strode away uncouthly.

Sasuke reached the Viscount and raised an elegant eyebrow. "There was no need to respond to the shrew."

Itachi did not comply him with a reply. Instead, he asked, "How are you feeling?"

Sasuke sighed lightly. "All said and done, you may rest assured that there is no danger of an emotionally driven gratitude intercepting your path."

Itachi chuckled. "You wound me, brother."

Sasuke could not help the smile that surfaced. "I try."

 **-x-x-x-x-**

That night, Sasuke laid next to Kurama, under the widespread starry sky. He only hoped that Mitsuki were doing the same. The notion filled him with warmth and life.

 _It is so fascinating that despite being separated by miles, there is something that we are sharing. That we are linked by stars._

Unconsciously, he traced the various discernable shapes lined by stars. He felt Kurama snuggling next to him, whining softly. Surrounding by music of the night, he fell asleep, his first in several days.

In his sleep, he dreamed of her, calling to him. She was upset that he had not come for her. When he expressed his helplessness, she laughed. A clear, pure sound that resonated deep within him. She led him through the countryside, always ahead of him, and stopped at a winding. She glanced behind, at him before running freely until they ended up in front of a wisteria.

Her misty, white clad figure knelt to the ground and murmured something to the tree. She was making a prayer, he concluded. Moving closer, step by step, he strained to hear.

 _"_ _Do not let my love die!"_

Sasuke jolted awake, awareness coursing through him. He rubbed his weary eyes, sitting up. The sky was lightening, midnight blue fading into orange. He stretched his muscles, feeling invigorated and whole. He had no time to waste anymore. He needed to find her, no matter what.

 **-x-x-x-x-**

"You are going out."

Sasuke nodded imperceptibly. "I am taking your advice, brother." In minutes, he was walking idly towards the woodland, accompanied by Kurama. The beast was yipping happily, clearly overjoyed by the vast, unexplored land exposed to him. As they strolled leisurely, Sasuke felt a sense of peacefulness settle over him.

The sensation did not last long as Kurama, overwhelmed by the freedom, wandered off without him knowing. When he realized so, he cursed under his breath. He could leave Kurama there but he could not. Kurama was a comrade to him. He began searching for the wily fox. As he delved deeper into the forests, the air became charged with something.

 _I have been doing a great deal of walking lately. I seem to think better outside._

He closed his eyes for a moment as a mad idea took hold of him. He started when he heard a feminine voice and a bark.

"My God, what is a handsome fox like you doing here? Your kind is not native here." A hesitant pause later, she added, "Kurama?"

And time stopped for Sasuke.

 **-x-x-x-x-**

 **A/N:** Okay, so finally this chapter is done! I struggled quite a lot with this one. I won't lie. I had a layout for it but I changed it several times. I did a lot of research on PTSD and how it affects soldiers. It's shocking that it wasn't discovered until the Vietnam War.

Also, it is hard to write Sasuke and Itachi's POV.

Some of you may not like the dream that Sasuke had and may call it too far-fetched or stupid but I think it sort of works. It acted like a sign for him.

And yes, at last they are going to meet. Yay!

Do tell me your thoughts on this chapter. I would love to know how I did.

 **-x-x-x-x-**

Hi, **CloudySkies2208**. I get your point, I do. But I wasn't focusing on the side-pairings too much. There was only one full chapter on them and a part of chapter 11. That's it. Until Sasuke and Naruto meet, I had to cover up as much ground as I could, regarding Sakura's story. I have a timeline in my head and I'm working according to it and improvising.

And if you don't like side pairings, skip them and just read the parts where Sasuke and Naruto are concerned.

I like you idea, **Christine.** I would have never thought of the pairing. And since, this fic has two odd pairings. What's one more? But let me just tell you, I won't be adding their story here. Simply, because I'm already stressed out with three. I might write a one-shot soon, though.

Also, thank you, **Sunlitsky21** for the suggestions.

 **-x-x-x-x-**

Thank you to all the lovely people who left behind a review. I appreciate each one of them.

 **93SQ, TheBeauty, HRHPrincessTricia, CloudySkies2208, RainaTheReader, Cat Beats, 2468097531, lazyrebel, Christine, thinks-too-hard, secretshoeshhh, Guest1, Guest2, Ciel0714**

 **-x-x-x-x-**

I'll get to writing the next chapter as quickly as possible. Something tells me, no one is appreciating the cliff-hanger.

Also, if you guys have some scenes you might want to see, do tell me. If I can, I will fit them into the story. And, if you happen to find any errors, inform me so that I can fix them. Thanks!

Bye.


	14. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

 _I answer one of your letters, then lie in bed in apparent calm, but my heart beats through my entire body and is conscious only of you. I belong to you; there is really no other way of expressing it, and that is not strong enough._ – Franz Kafka

 **x-x-x-x-**

Miss Uzumaki was not amused; not a jot. It was entirely her fault, she was well aware, but that did not lessen her annoyance. She should have expected Kyuubi to play dirty, considering it was what she was going to do too. _All is fair in love and war_. It was one of the first lessons she had learnt from her parents. Both, her and Kyuubi, took it quite literally.

No matter her displeasure, his plan had been ingenious and secretly, she admitted that it bore close resemblance to her own plans. But, damn it! He executed it before her and in a way, established his supremacy before the game tomorrow.

She cursed under her breath, striding fast through the orchard and towards the forest behind the Uzumaki estates. She needed to improvise and make a better strategy than her brother. There was no way she was letting him get an easy win. She would be damned before that happened. She was going to make her brother work his hardest and then defeat him. She could already savor the taste of sweet victory on her tongue.

"Oh yes," she said, grinning madly.

Before her emotions could run amok, she scolded herself that she had not won yet. It was time to think, not spin castles in the air. That was the reason, she escaped the confines of her home and rushed towards the place she was assured would offer peace and zero disturbances.

It was a walk she had taken hundreds of time before. The scenery was comfortably familiar, darkness of shadows broken by sunlight peeping through widely spaced and spread branches of tall trees. The woodland floor was soft, slightly wet in the morning and scattered with dried, ginger colored leaves, tiny flowers and hazel catkins. The sounds were inviting and charming- swishing leaves and birds chirping a sweet melody.

It was a walk she had taken hundreds of time before, yet, she became aware of a new sensation. A feeling that she should be cautious. The air was tinged with a promise… of something. As she went farther, the feeling intensified. Her heart began behaving strangely, a wild prickling awakened in her wrists, throat and every other part of her skin.

She jumped slightly, in surprise. There was movement ahead, a shape running through the trees and rippling the bracken. It was not a human shape. She relaxed somewhat, owing her odd alertness to the animal. Now that she was able to think clearly, she picked up a fallen branch and deftly snapped it to the length of a walking stick.

Silence descended over the forest as the creature went still, awaiting her next movement.

Naruto calmed furthermore, and called out in an even voice, "Come out." There was no sign of activity for several long, tense minutes. As she waited with bated breath, a fox came bounding towards her and halted a few feet away. The fox snarled and bared elongated white teeth.

She held still and observed the beast coolly. From what she could recall of the books she had read, it was a _Vulpes vulpes._ He was lean, shorter than a medium sized domestic dog, with crimson coat and distinctive large maroon eyes. The tail, as red as the coat, was fluffy and longer than half his body length.

"My God, what is a handsome fox like you doing here?" she asked softly. "Your kind is not native here." The curious, tingling sensation took hold of her conscience once again. For a moment, she only stared at the fox as if she had known him forever. Then, slowly her lips began moving in wonder. "Kurama?"

Upright, triangular ears twitched at the name. Crouching, he barked threateningly, a sound of angry confusion. Such was her astonishment, she dropped the stick and dropped to her knees. "My goodness, it is you." She paused to collect herself and then whispered, "He brought you back with him."

Kurama, however, was not placated. He howled low in warning, daring her to come any nearer. She did not dare. Instead, she laughed happily while her eyes filled with tears. "I am so glad you made it through the war, Kurama." She stayed unmoving as he approached her cautiously, sniffing around her skirts. He circled her slowly, examining every visible inch of her. When his snout nudged her hand, she did not move to pet him, allowing him to scent her. Become familiar.

"So, you have run away from him, have you?" she asked when he moved away, satisfied. "How very wicked of you!" She looked around, getting the odd feeling of being watched. She got to her feet. "I suppose I must take you home. He must be worrying. I am s-"

She stopped at the sound of something… someone moving through the bushes. Kurama turned to the source of the commotion and immediately, trotted towards the approaching figure with a happy bark.

Naruto lifted her head slowly, heart pounding madly in her chest. She struggled to moderate her breathing as she caught the first glimpse of the man she yearned for.

Sasuke.

Her entire being breathed out the name reverently. It was no more than a whisper and never quite reached him but she heard the emotion that single sigh had held.

It seemed the whole world stopped turning.

Naruto tried to compare the man standing before her to the rake he had once been. She could not. It was simply impossible. No longer the stark replica of a Roman God….

He was now a warrior hardened by war.

His skin, no longer snowy white, was a mixture of copper and pale amber. It must have been worse earlier, since it appeared that the color was lightening to its original shade of fair. His dark locks cut haphazardly, adorned his face just as they used to. His eyes… black as a moonless night were cold and empty. His face was impassive, but something, volatile was hidden underneath the stillness.

How alone he looked.

How utterly bleak.

She wanted to run to him, hold him and confess her ardent devotion to him. The effort of staying unmoving was- torturous and agonizing. Her muscles protested as she opened her mouth to speak in a voice that was not quite like her own. "Welcome home, Captain Uchiha."

He was silent, staring at her with… something she could not discern. Heavens above, those eyes of his seared into her mind. "I am Naruto Uzumaki." It might have been her imagination but she saw something akin to disappointment flicker in ebony orbs. She shook her head inconspicuously to clear away the notion. "My family lives in the estate next-"

"I remember you."

The rough, velvet of his voice resonated within her, a stroke of pleasure against her ears. Bewildered and fascinated, she stared at his guarded mien. To him, she was a mere stranger. She gulped down a sob and asked softly, "You were absen-"

"You called him Kurama." He nodded towards the fox who sitting next to his feet contently.

Naruto froze momentarily, eyes wide and frantic. "I… heard about Kurama from the Viscount. How good of you to bring him here."

Sasuke gave her a long brooding glance. "I did not know that you were friends with my brother."

"Yes, I am." She hesitated. "Your brother has been extremely kind to me." Vague but truthful. She wondered if he would ask for specifics but he did not. Instead, his demeanor became warier.

"What else did he tell you?" he asked sharply. His gaze was harsh and unforgiving. And a little bit hopeful? Could he be asking about Mitsuki? The thought filled her with equal parts warmth and hurt.

Before she could formulate an appropriate response, Kurama jumped in front of her and began barking ferociously. She would have reached to him, had he not been showing his pointed canines.

"Here," Sasuke said in such a dark and menacing voice that it chilled her spine. Kurama whimpered before darting back to his master. Sasuke glanced at her, his gaze travelling the entire length of her and said brusquely, "My apologies."

She had quite forgotten how to breathe as his eyes navigated her form. It was the most ungentlemanly inspection she had ever been subjected to, yet she could not stop the flush that spread to her cheeks. "No harm done."

"He has behaved like a mad creature since we have returned," he said flatly, in way of explanation. "He keeps on barking and has already bitten one of the staff members." An exasperated lilt entered his speech as he uttered the next words, "I do not know what to do with him. It was a mistake bringing him here."

Her eyes softened considerably. "He can learn. You see, foxes are known to be clever. At the moment, he thinks everyone will harm him. You must allow him the time to adjust."

His attention snapped to her and for a moment, it was only the two of them in the clearing. His eyes were filled with such bitter experiences and a helpless longing that tore her heart. She had to leave before she crawled to him, begging for forgiveness. "The Viscount held an evening party at his residence yesterday, I believe."

"Hn." He spoke after a long minute. "You never answered my question."

It took her some time to understand him. "He only spoke of your well-being." She paused uncertainly. "He mentioned Kurama once, in passing." When he did not speak, she grew suspicious. "What is amiss?"

He hesitated briefly. "I find it hard to believe that my brother would befriend you."

She managed a faint, wry smile. "And why not?"

"You are hardly cut from the same cloth," he answered wryly.

It was the sardonic tilt in his voice that caught her notice. "I am afraid, I do not follow your meaning," she said.

Now, he truly seemed uncomfortable. Only for a second though. "My brother is a Viscount and… conventional. You, however, are… not."

She regarded him for a moment, his words piercing and hurting. "A viscount, you mean?" she asked drily, tilting her head to the side.

His eyes narrowed. "You are as far as one can be from conventions, Miss Uzumaki." His tone was seasoned with condescension and disdain.

All feelings of tenderness and compassion vanished from her bosom in a blink, only to be replaced by anger. Sasuke Uchiha had not changed in one regard. He still disliked her actively. "I would never wish to be a conventional person. They are dull and supercilious."

He took that as a slight against his brother, it seemed. "As compared to people who bring pets to soirees and dinners? No one could accuse you of tedium, Miss Uzumaki."

Naruto felt the blood drain from her skin. He had insulted her. The realization made her strangely numb, like she had stepped into icy cold water. "You may insult me," she said, amazed by her ability to sound composed, "but leave my animals alone!"

Whirling around, she began walking as fast as she could away from him. How dare he! How dare he! Heavens, she wanted to hit him. How could he say such cruel things to her? She often heard such remarks from people but from him, they especially hurt more.

She did not glance over her shoulder, only plowed forward with digging strides. Bad enough to love a man she had lied to. It was exponentially worse to love a man who aggressively disliked her. Ridiculously, she wished she could write to Sasuke about the niggardly man she had just encountered. He was so disdainful, she would write. _He dismissed me as someone who did not deserve a modicum of his respect. Clearly, he thinks I am wild and peculiar._

 _And the worst part is that he is right._

 **-x-x-x-x-**

Sasuke trudged home with Kurama trotting calmly beside him. For some reason, the fox seemed much calmer after meeting Naruto Uzumaki. And the strangest thing was that he felt the same way too. Sasuke cast his companion a damning glance.

"Idiot," he muttered, although he was not certain if the word was directed at himself or at the fox. Kurama looked up at him with a sly grin. "Damn you."

The guilt became more pronounced until he was forced to acknowledge that he had behaved like an ass to Naruto Uzumaki. She had tried to be friendly while he had been completely patronizing and cold. It was no fault of hers. It was just that he was mad with longing for Mitsuki. He wanted the voice who had rescued him in his darkest time.

Earlier as he had set off to find Kurama and found himself deeper in the woods, an insane idea had taken hold of him… that Mitsuki was nearby. For some blissful moments, as he had heard Miss Uzumaki converse with Kurama, he had believed that his search was going to end. He was going to become complete.

Instead of finding the woman he craved for, he found Naruto Uzumaki; his desires and hopes squashed in a matter of a few minutes.

It was not that he disliked her. She was an odd being, difficult to put in a specific category. She was different but fairly engaging and far more attractive than he could remember. In fact she was stunning, in the most unconventional manner. A lovely oval face, pleasing caramel colored skin, an erotic mouth and the prettiest blue eyes he had ever seen. And the hair- silk strands of spun gold, pinned up messily as a few teasing locks slipped free.

She was like a beautiful summer day.

He shook his head to remove her thought but the image would not budge. Heavens above, what in the blazes was wrong with him?

His steps slowed when he reached the mansion. Crouching next to Kurama, he said, "I know it is damned hard to leave war behind but do behave. And God help you if you bite anyone. Itachi would flay you alive." With that he straightened gracefully. "Do not leave the grounds, Kurama." When the fox barked, Sasuke trusted that he had done his duty. After giving Kurama a pat, he entered the ivy covered mansion.

He found his brother in the study, working diligently over some papers. As soon as he noted Sasuke's presence, he motioned for him to take a seat and rang for breakfast. While Sasuke ate, Itachi quietly perused business matters. When he was done and the plates gone, Itachi looked up from the papers.

"How was the walk?" Itachi enquired politely.

"It was fine." He paused hesitantly but then shrugged and said, "I met one of your friends today, I happened to chance upon her during the walk."

"Who?"

"Miss Naruto Uzumaki."

"Miss Uzumaki." Itachi was looking at him attentively now. "What did she say?"

So, she had not been lying. The realization only served to make him feel worse. "Not much," Sasuke answered quietly. "She told me that you talked to her about Kurama."

"You do know how I delight in talking about that wretched beast." Sasuke shifted uncomfortably in his seat. Itachi, obviously, caught his reaction since he sighed in resignation. "What did you say to her?"

Sasuke grimaced but answered nonetheless. There was no point in holding back from Itachi. He would have found out anyway. "I insulted her animals."

To his surprise, the Viscount smirked in amusement. "I wonder what perverse instinct drives you to repeatedly slight the wittiest woman of my acquaintance."

"I have not repeatedly offended her. I just did it today."

Itachi's mouth twisted in derision. "How conveniently short your memory is, brother. Recall, you once said that she belonged in the forest."

Sasuke scowled. "I do not believe it. I would never say that to a woman, no matter how damned eccentric she is."

"Miss Uzumaki heard you say so to your friends."

"And she told everyone?" Sasuke asked angrily.

Itachi shook his head. "Merely me. That too when was reprimanding me of flattering her unnecessarily."

The words slipped before Sasuke had the time to comprehend them. "She deserves every bit of flattery that comes her way."

Itachi raised an elegant eyebrow. This was interesting. It appeared that Miss Uzumaki had managed to leave quite an impression on Sasuke. He picked up a sheet and began examining it for a few seconds. Then, he murmured artlessly, "I do agree. I find Miss Uzumaki superior in every regard, except perhaps beauty."

"There you have it wrong," Sasuke told him solemnly and quite eagerly too, Itachi thought. "Miss Uzumaki is beautiful."

"I do not quite see that."

"How can you not? It is blatantly obvious," Sasuke remarked with some surprise. "She is exceptionally pretty."

Itachi devoted careful attention to his documents. It was getting too amusing. "She is rather tall."

"She has the ideal height and form," Sasuke countered.

Itachi did not need to see his brother's face to recognize admiration that laced each word and intonation. "And her hair…"

"Like spun gold. I do not think I have ever seen such a brilliant shade of blonde before."

"Have you not?" Itachi asked innocently. "How surprising."

"Her locks are as bright as the sun… like a halo surrounding her face. Her eyes…"

"Blue," Itachi said dismissively.

"It is hard to determine the exact shade of her eyes. Like a kaleidoscope consisting of all possible hues of blue creating the most perf-" Sasuke broke off abruptly. "I am straying from the point."

"Which is?" Itachi asked innocently.

Sasuke glared at him, obviously catching up to the game he had been playing. "I do not give damn if Miss Uzumaki is beautiful or not. She is peculiar and so is her family. I have no interest in her."

The viscount did not speak for a minute. "What of Mitsuki? Would you not care if she were beautiful or not?"

"Of course not. I am interested in the working of her lovely, original and absolutely compelling mind."

"I see. Miss Uzumaki's mind is peculiar and Mitsuki's mind is original and compelling." His voice was so dry that one could have lit a match with it.

"Just so."

Itachi shook his head slowly and pushed his work out of the way. A strange smile tugged at the corners of his lips as Sasuke watched him warily. "You will call on Miss Uzumaki tomorrow, Sasuke and apologize for your behavior. Take Kurama with you. She will glad to see him, if not you."

 **-x-x-x-x-**

 **A/N:** Since, I know how much this chapter was anticipated, I finished it earlier. Also, I hate cliff hangers too. I hope this chapter lived up to your expectations. From your reviews, I gathered that a lot of you have a lot of different views regarding how this meeting was supposed to go. It was quite interesting to read various perspectives.

It was not Sakura calling out Kurama. How could it be her? The only one who knew about the Fox, especially the name, was Naruto and Itachi. She never shared her letters with anyone.

Do tell me your thoughts regarding this chapter and let me know what you would have liked different.

 **-x-x-x-x-**

Thank you to the following people for leaving behind a review. I loved each one.

 **Lazyfox21, LongPastMidnight, lazyrebel, DanteAzel, Ly Katherine Adhara, The King in White, Itooshii Koneko, TheBeauty, chloemika, RainaTheReader, Cat Beats, TrappedInHappiness, thinks-too-hard, 2468097431, HRHPrincessTricia, AlenaPatano, Frwt, bunnyguest, BillieJoeAnn.**

 **-x-x-x-x-**

Don't call your work a joke, **Itooshii Koneko** because I love it. Especially _Unexpected_. Now, only if you'd update faster.

The mule will play its part, **HRHPrincessTricia.** Have patience.

 **-x-x-x-x-**

 **A/N:** If you can, suggest me some great books or just a great SasuNaru fanfic, that'd be cool. Also if you want to read a good manga, I suggest _Never_ _Understand_ by Bbong.

See you in the next chapter.


	15. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

 _As one needs happiness so have I needed love; that is the deepest need of the human spirit. And as I love you utterly, so have you now become the whole world of my spirit. It is beside and beyond anything that you can ever do for me; it lies in what you are, dear love — to me so infinitely lovely that to be near you, to see you, hear you, is now the only happiness, the only life, I know._

– Rockwell Kent

 **-x-x-x-x-**

Sasuke walked towards the Uzumaki estates the next afternoon. Not because he wanted to. It so happened that he had no plans for the day and the prospect of avoiding the inquisitive eyes of his brother was thoroughly welcome. He had to go somewhere, away from Itachi. The stillness of the house mixed with Itachi's curiosity was more than he could face.

He wanted to be left alone.

Sasuke was well aware that Itachi longed to ask him… how it had been on the field and off it. He wished he could put it into words. Heaves above, it was not easy at all. The words would not come out. They were stuck in the back of his throat, scratching and clawing. He was tired of it all, bereft of the strength needed to verbally relay the dark and relentless despair.

As they strolled through the forest, Kurama bounded ahead happily foraging through the greenery as if he was aware of all secrets of the woods. Captain Uchiha, on the other hand, felt morose and annoyed regarding the welcome- or lack of it- that he would receive at the Uzumaki estates. Miss Uzumaki surely must have complained of his ungentlemanly behavior to her family.

It was common knowledge that the Uzumakis were not… conventional. If not for the Earldom held by Minato Uzumaki, they would have never gotten entry into polite society. However, what truly infuriated the local gentry was that the Uzumakis did not seem to care, one way or the other.

They were very close knit, fiercely protective of their own. Truth be told, he had always been annoyed by their familial loyalty but, changed as he was, he deeply admired this quality. He was ready to bear their anger on having offended Miss Uzumaki.

As he neared the house, Sasuke wondered what the devil he was doing, calling on the family unannounced. It certainly was not an appropriate time or a proper visiting day. He consoled himself, there was a very small chance that they would notice.

The charming and distinctive outline of the roof of the manor came into view. It was a well-built house, standing on high ground and surrounded by beds of roses. He was vaguely surprised by the effortlessness yet uniqueness of it. There was nothing strange or peculiar about the manor. Its architecture was simple but genuine and interesting.

Sasuke wondered if taking Kurama in would be plausible or not. In the end, he decided that it did not matter. He was surely going to encounter animals roaming throughout the house.

If he were fortunate, no one would be home to receive him.

After passing a slender column, dressed in thick ivy, he proceeded to the entrance of the house with a little stab of dread. He knocked twice and waited tensely. When the door did not open after a few minutes had passed, he grew hopeful. In a parody of good manners, he knocked once more.

He reared back as the portal was flung open by a frantic housemaid. She stared openly at him, no doubt trying to recognize him. "Forgive me, sir," she said breathlessly. "We are in the middle of a"- She paused at the sound of something breaking. Sasuke could not quite figure out what. "Oh merciful Lord!" she moaned. "I beg your pardon, sir, if you could wait in the par"-

"Damn it, no!" A masculine voice shouted in the distance. "Naru, that is foul play!"

Then, there was feminine laughter.

"Oh, Good Lord," the housemaid cried. "Follow me, sir. There is no point in waiting. Everyone is outside in the meadow behind the estates."

Sasuke hesitated in the doorway, dumbfounded. He blinked once. Twice. He started when Kurama barked loudly and ran into the house. Cursing his luck, he followed the beast. He started a little when another feminine voice screamed.

"How dare you, Mr. Uzumaki!"

"Damn you, Kyuubi!"

Sasuke asked the housekeeper blankly. "What are they doing?"

"Playing that blasted game… Bandy wicket," she answered with disdain, "or as Master Kyuubi has dubbed it- _Voleur_."

" _Voleur_ ," he repeated carefully.

She did not explain further. In that perplexing moment, he could not decide whether he was disappointed with her silence on the matter or not. He twitched uneasily at the commotion of different voices. His instincts were urging him to take action although, for the life of him, he could not figure what the devil was all the noise about. As far as he knew, Bandy wicket was an elegant and noiseless lawn game.

Bandy, a J-shaped wooden bat, was used to hit a ball through various wickets, one at a time, set throughout the course.

He was led through a charming parlor, walls stacked with books and flowers, to the back door. He found a lovely garden with the greenest grass and the most delightful fragrance lingering in the air. As soon as he stepped out, a sense of peace engulfed him. Kurama, delighted by the new grounds offered for exploration, barked eagerly.

"Go."

Immediately, the fox disappeared into the bracken.

"Here, sir," the housekeeper called out. "Master and Mistress are this way."

Kushina Uzumaki, the countess, was the first one to greet him. She was a beautiful woman with crimson hair. There was something impish about her as if she could trick anyone. "My lady," he murmured and bowed.

"Good afternoon, sir," she spoke with a questioning lilt.

"Sasuke Uchiha," he introduced stiffly. Immediately her eyes sparkled with recognition. Although they had met more, she clearly did not remember her.

"What a pleasant surprise, Captain," she exclaimed, holding out her hand. He bent over it politely. He turned to the Earl next. He could see that Miss Uzumaki received her golden hair and blue eyes from Minato Uzumaki. They shook hands and exchanged pleasantries.

"I was hoping to have a chat with Miss Uzumaki."

Kushina looked at him strangely for a minute. Then, she smiled. "But, of course. I suppose you would not mind tea while waiting for her. You see, my children are behaving like… _well_ , children."

"Captain Uchiha would much prefer watching them play, Kushina."

"You are right, I suppose." She turned to Sasuke. "We can have our tea where they are playing. It would not be a bother, I presume?"

He shook his head.

 **-x-x-x-x-**

When they reached their destination, he found Sasori Akasuna seated on a sturdy chair and watching the game intently as a frown marred his features. Sasuke winced at the prospect of meeting a past acquaintance. It was terrifying. Nonetheless, he went ahead with his head held high. Sasori looked at him, up and down, blank-faced.

"Welcome back."

With that, Sasori turned his attention back to the game. The countess smiled slyly. "He is worried for his wife." When Sasuke raised an elegant eyebrow, she explained, "Hinata Akasuna has teamed with my daughter to bring down my son and his partner. And you see, Kyuubi and Naru do not quite play by the set conventions." Yes, he could very clearly see that. It did not at all seem like Bandy wicket. He could not exactly fathom the tactics but he concluded that each team was trying to stop the opponent from winning. It did not matter if the team itself won or not.

"Nor do they play fairly," Minato added politely.

Kushina grinned. "It is nothing short of a war, Captain. I am often surprised by the lack of bloodshed."

"They would not dare ruin the garden you worked so hard on, my lady."

The countess laughed outright. "I have raised them well."

This time, the Earl snorted in amusement. " _Raised_ is too kind a description, do you not think?" He glanced at Sasuke and continued with amusement sparkling in his blue eyes. "They are terrified of Kushina."

"Oh, hush you!" Kushina poked her tongue out at her husband and for a moment, Sasuke was frozen in his place. He had never seen such behavior from people of rank and certainly never in company. She must have noticed his aversion. "Forgive us, Captain Uchiha. I can tell that our behavior has startled you." She smiled kindly making him feel incredibly small. "Really, we have tried to learn better man"-

A flush raced to his face. "There is no need, my lady," he interrupted quickly. "I was merely lost in my thoughts. It is I who must apologize for sending across wrong meaning."

She stared at him for a long, tense minute and then, clapped her hands. "Delightful," she said with approval. "A man who is not afraid to apologize." Sasuke was scared of admitting how much the simple compliment affected him. It was spoken in a motherly tone, gentle and warm.

It was quiet for the next few minutes as they took their tea and watched the game. _Voleur_ \- slowly he understood the meaning behind the name. Conventionally, in Bandy wicket, each player received their turn in a decided order and no one was allowed to interfere. In _Voleur_ , however, whenever it was the turn of a team to hit the ball (made of wood), the other team would try to outmaneuver the shot. Or, in simple words, block the first team from proceeding on the course.

He snapped out of his thoughts when he saw a mousy woman get ready to hit the ball. Call it his intuition; he knew that something was wrong. Especially with the way she was holding onto the Bandy, while gazing at Kyuubi Uzumaki who was looking elsewhere.

Sasuke imagined the path of the trajectory. It was quite apparent that the ball would fly, and his heart stopped beating.

Before he could comprehend the situation more, he was moving…running and willing his feet to move faster as the woman hit the ball without paying any attention to where it went or _whom_ it landed on.

 **-x-x-x-x-**

Naruto shook her head. It was becoming damned tedious, really. Sakura and Kyuubi, despite being on the same side, were clashing horribly at each and every moment they got. It was as if they were looking for opportunities to argue over nothing. After Kyuubi had stolen the wickets yesterday, she was prepared for a good game. Kyuubi always set up tricky courses and he had outshone himself this time.

If only, he concentrated more on the game than tormenting Sakura, whom he had started calling _Hades in skirts_.

"Naru!"

Before she could move towards the source of sound, she was knocked sideways and to the ground. The impact robbed her of breath. There was a loud thud, inches away from her left ear. But, she was long past caring about anything else but the warm, solid body caging over her protectively.

Sasuke.

Sandalwood mixed with linen and sweat invaded her nostrils.

Dazedly, she tried to regulate her breathing. Her heart was beating so loud, she wondered, distantly, if he could perhaps hear the sound. They lay together in confusion and determination. He looked into her eyes and for a moment, she swore, he saw right into her soul.

He seemed to struggling with something when he looked back at her. She wondered what it could be. Dark eyes flashed for a fleeting instant and then his face was completely blank. Lifting his head, he took a wary note of their surroundings.

Slowly, he got to his feet, bringing her up with himself. Held in his arms, she was aware of a gentle heat spreading through her body.

"My goodness!" Hinata rushed to her side as the others did too. Immediately, he let her go and she regretted the interruption a tad too much. Hina pulled her in an embrace. "I am so glad you are unhurt, Naru. If it were not for Captain Uchiha…"

She was accosted by Kyuubi next who looked like a man who had just lost everything. And then found it again. "Bloody hell, sis!"

"I am fine, Kyuubi."

He placed a hand on her cheek. "I would hope so. I quite enjoy playing against you."

She smiled and stood on her tip toes to place a tender kiss on his cheek. "Worry wart."

To her eternal humiliation, her parents reached the spot and literally mauled her for any injury. She blushed, stealing glances at Sasuke who was standing, rigidly, away from the fuss.

"Forgive me, Naru."

The woman was shaking terribly. Sakura looked on the verge of tears, guilt shining in green eyes. "It happens, Sak"-

"No, it does not, sis," Kyuubi growled, rounding up on Sakura with a vicious glare. "What the devil what you were thinking? Where in the blazes was that bloody sensibility you are so damned proud of? You almost killed my sister."

For the first time in her association with Kyuubi, Sakura lowered her eyes. "I am truly sorry, my lord. It was an accident."

The meekness on her part did nothing to soothe his anger. "Oh, I am sure, Haruno. You, _accidently,_ mistook the wicket for my sister? It happens to all of us, really. We all go about mistaking wickets for human bodies." Each word dripped with sarcasm. "Just yesterday, I smashed open a head _accidently_."

"That is quite enough, Kyuubi," Minato said sharply.

"Do not tell me, you are taking her side," he snapped, nodding at Sakura. "She could have _killed_ Naruto!"

"I am alright, Kyuubi," Naruto insisted.

Kyuubi narrowed his eyes and advanced on Sakura with a menacing glare. "Consider yourself lucky, Haruno," he hissed. "Had my sister been hurt in any way, you would not have lived to see another day." Behind the round spectacles, sea green eyes widened and filled with tears.

God, how could she! He stepped away from her with a sickened expression. He walked towards Sasuke and nodded. "Thank you for saving my sister, Captain."

"Hn."

Kyuubi nodded once again before striding away from the scene, thrumming with anger. Naruto sighed in exasperation.

"Do not worry, Sakura," she said kindly. "Kyuubi is only livid on my behalf. He did not mean a w"-

"He is right, Naru. It was my fault." She was crying, Miss Uzumaki realized belatedly. "Please forgive me." Without even waiting for an answer, she dashed to the manor.

An awkward silence shrouded them for a tense minute. "We are in your debt, Captain."

"Any gentleman would have done the same, my lord."

"Indeed," Kushina said indulgently. "But you were _the Gentleman_ today, sir." Sasuke did not say anything to that. She looked at her daughter. "That is quite enough adventure for one day, Naru. Let us finish our tea. I am sure Mrs. Tachibana will not mind setting more places."

"I must take my leave, my lady. My brother must be missing my presence."

Before Kushina could speak, Naruto cut in, "He can spare you for another hour, I am sure."

"I am afraid not."

Stubborn man, she thought ruefully. "You must stay, Captain. I have not yet properly shown my gratitude."

"Saying two words does not take an hour, Miss Uzumaki."

"You saved my life, Captain. Surely, that is deserving of more than two words."

"You need to expend your energy on my account, Miss Uzumaki. I assure you, you need not even say those two words."

"How very kind of you." She smiled sweetly. "If you so abhor verbal expression of gratitude, then stay for tea."

He released an exasperated sound. "I cannot."

"Please."

He wore a thunderous expression as he responded, "Fine."

 **-x-x-x-x-**

Miss Uzumaki settled opposite him in the parlor. Sasuke could not decide if he was irked by the arrangement or happy to be away from her. Simple conversation flowed around him as they waited for the tea to be brought in and to his surprise, no one forced him to join in. Although, several subtle openings had been left. They also steered clear of any topic relating to war.

It was a refreshing change.

Finger bowls and napkins were brought out followed by sumptuously laden tray. As Lady Uzumaki poured, Sasuke noticed that she added a few crushed mint leaves to one cup. Seeing his interest, the countess said amiably, "Naru prefers her tea like this. Would you like some as well?"

"No. Thank you. I-" His voice faded as he watched her stir honey into the cup.

 _Every morning and evening, I drink fresh mint tea sweetened with honey. My mother prepares it for me. She adds crushed mint leaves over the hot tea and then stirs honey into it._

The recollection reawakened the yearning and desperation, coiling and uncoiling, deep within his gut. He steeled himself against it and focused on the people around him.

"Have you settled into your life as a civilian, Captain Uchiha?" Miss Uzumaki asked. The tone of her voice indicated some underlying intent.

He carefully formulated his answer. "Nearly." For a second, he imagined that her eyes softened in understanding. As if she knew about his plight at some personal level. She could not. There was possibly no way she could.

"What do you intend to do with your commission?"

He stared at her. No one had dared to ask him the question and yet for some unfathomable reason, Miss Uzumaki did and quite bravely too. He held his amusement in check. "I plan to sell it. I have had enough of the army."

She nodded and leaned back. A satisfied smile played across her lips. "And then? What do you plan to do?"

What the devil was with her? What was she investigating him for? "I do not know," he answered through clenched teeth.

"Why do you not? It is really simple. What are you good at?"

Lady Uzumaki saved him the trouble of replying because his vehemence would have surely eviscerated Miss Uzumaki. "Hush you, Naru. Stop pestering the man, for goodness' sake!" She smiled apologetically. "Do forgive Naru's impertinence, Captain. You see, she has a naturally inquisitive disposition."

"In simpler words, she is completely out of hearing," Sasori put in drily.

Hinata Akasuna glared at her husband. "That was cruel."

"No, darling. It was true," he retorted. "Notice, none present contradicted me."

"I did!"

"Recall, you said ' _that was cruel'_ which was merely an observation on my choice of words."

"Heavens, how do you bear him?" Naruto asked.

Hinata smiled, forgetting her annoyance. "It is just like you are with your animals."

"I resent that comparison," Sasori muttered, making both of them laugh.

As Sasuke followed the animated banter, a knot inside him loosened. That is when he realized that the Uzumakis were not peculiar at all. They only happened to be too smart. They were intelligent, amusing and opinionated. It took a certain category of people, like the Akasunas, to understand them.

For that reason, he found himself liking them.

Except Miss Uzumaki.

He did not know what to make of her. He was annoyed and taken back by her familiar way of conversing with him. She was… subversive and mystifying. The effect she had on his senses was most surprising. Whenever she spoke, he found himself hanging on to each word.

"The new shed is not yet built. Kyuubi has not worked out a design for it," she was saying excitedly. "I half think that he is stalling deliberately. He does not like my animals." She frowned. "I wonder why."

Sasori smirked. "That is one mystery I would like to solve too."

"Each member of her menagerie is less picturesque than the last," came the sardonic answer as Kyuubi reached them. He took the free seat next to Sasori, calmer than before. "There is a scarred goat, a cat with one ear, a tail-less dog, a hideous mule and so on."

Sasuke sat up straighter. "A mule?"

Before Kyuubi could answer, a bark resounded in the air and Kurama bounded towards him. The occupants of the table, to their credit, did not bat an eye. The fox barked at everyone threateningly, baring all its teeth. Sasuke sighed, getting to his feet. Kurama was becoming restless which meant it was time to go back.

"Thank you for the tea," he said politely. "Allow me to take my leave, my lady." He bowed slightly in the direction of the Earl and the countess. "My Lord."

"Mr. and Mrs. Akasuna, it was a pleasure. Viscount Uzumaki." He paused and looked at Naruto momentarily. "Miss Uzumaki," he murmured softly, inclining his head to the side.

"You will call again, I hope," Lady Uzumaki said.

"Of course," Sasuke said, not really meaning it. He was sure that Uzumakis, though enjoyable, were to be accepted in small, distantly stretched doses.

"I shall walk you to the door," Miss Uzumaki offered.

It was years of good breeding that made Sasuke not gape. Since, when did a woman walk a man anywhere? Had the world shifted on its axis while he had been away? Or maybe it was just her. Miss Uzumaki and her nomadic blue eyes… the eyes of a vagabond angel.

He shook his head. "That will not be necessary."

"Oh, I know," she said carelessly. "But I want to, anyway."

His jaw tightened. He walked forth resolutely, not glancing back even once. He could sense that she was following him diligently. She caught up with him a minute filled with long strides later, huffing and panting. She somewhat deserved it, he argued in his mind. When they reached the door, she called him.

He raised an elegant eyebrow, impatient to get out of there.

"Why did you come here?"

Sasuke shifted uncomfortably. "I was… discourteous yesterday."

"Yes, you were," she said coolly.

"Yes, I would like to… apo-"

She cut in with a dismissive wave of her hand. "Do not apologize for disliking me."

"I do not dislike you," he corrected.

She stared at him, bemused. "Yes, you do."

Confound her, what was wrong with her? "I do not know you well enough to either like or dislike you," he told her solemnly.

She grinned. "You are on borrowed time then, Captain. Sooner or later, you will come to dislike me, I assure you. The more people come to know me, the more they come to find reasons to not like me." She was so bloody open and free regarding the topic that it made him _almost_ smile. She plowed on easily, "Thank you for saving me."

"It took you less than two seconds to say that, Miss Uzumaki."

She laughed, eyes crinkling with mirth. "Is that a hint that you did not enjoy the little tea party?"

"I would not dream of it."

"At least not under this threshold," she remarked cheekily.

He smirked. "Hn."

"I do hope you know that I am grateful."

He suppressed a twinge of exasperation and annoyance. "I did not do it to earn gratitude."

She smiled warmly. "No, you did not."

He did not know why but he had to tell her. He had not been trying to be heroic. "My body just moved on its own."

"I believe you."

He could tell that she was unrepentantly sincere with her words.

And it petrified him.

 **-x-x-x-x-**

 **A/N:** If someone doesn't like SasuNaru or SasufemNaru, it's alright. It's your choice. But don't rant about how SasuSaku is so much better or tell me to go kill myself for promoting fag love. Honestly, that's messed up. The only reason you have so much guts to be so despicably negative is because internet provides anonymity. Also, the funny part is that no matter how much hate this fanfic, you take the time to read each chapter and then leave behind a review, for each chapter, telling me to go dig a ditch and die. And you don't do it for only this fanfic; you do it for every fanfic I have ever posted. Anonymous bully, you happen to have a lot of time.

Well, I haven't killed myself yet. So, maybe it's time you grow up.

The only reason, I called the anonymous bully out is because cyber bullying is not cool. I have a friend who recently went into depression because of it. And I just don't want it to happen to anyone else. So, I want you guys to be aware of how you word your criticism. If anyone likes SasuSaku or SasuNaru, it's their choice. Don't be mean to each other simply because the other party doesn't like what you like.

Huh… that was long.

Anyways, I hope you guys liked this chapter. It was really fun to write for me. I don't know why. It just was. Do leave your thoughts behind in a review. I take into consideration each one of them. More often than not, they really help me make this fanfic better.

 **-x-x-x-x-**

Thank you so much for leaving behind reviews. You guys are awesome!

 **lazyfox21, AlenaPatano, Frwt, lazyrebel, TheBeauty, HRHPrincessTricia, LyKatherine Adhara, unexpectedboss, TrappedInHappiness, Shamon-gumi, Guitarlovechild, Cat Beats, Itooshii Koneko, thinks-too-hard, Christine, Guest1, Guest2,Guest3, bunnyguest, DanteAzel, Guest4, robinears52, Sasunaru's Loyal Fangirl TDDUP, BLANK**

 **-x-x-x-x-**

Hi, **AlenaPatano**. Thank you for the suggestion but I've already read _Carry On_ by Rainbow Rowell. I read it last year after finishing _Fangirl_. I loved _Carry On_ and read it in a day too. But when I read it, I thought it was more Harry and Draco in their 6th year, with how much Simon was obsessed with Baz. But yeah, the same can be said about Sasuke and Naruto. And since, you made such a good suggestion. I would like you to read _Aristotle and Dante discover secrets of the_ _universe_ by Benjamin Alire Saenz.

I read both _One small change_ by Juura99 and _Clumsy_ by Eisfuchs, **thinks-too-hard**. Both fanfics are vastly different but so freaking amazing to read. Thank you for the suggesting! And if you want to read something, _Aristotle and Dante discover secrets of the_ _universe_ by Benjamin Alire Saenz is a great book.

Thank you for pointing that out to me, **HRHPrincessTricia**. I didn't realize that there was almost zero interaction between Minato and Kushina.

The evening party was the only social event that had been held at Uchiha manor since Sasuke's return. So, in a way he has never allowed an animal into a soiree, **TheBeauty**. Kurama was roaming in the grounds, outside the house, during dinner.

Take your time, **Itooshii Koneko**. Just don't take too much, okay? I look forward to next chapter of _Unexpected._ Also, thank you for the love.

Happy to help, **Sasunaru's Loyal Fangirl TDDUP**. Lots of love. All the best with your writing!

I'll be posting a new chapter once every two weeks, **BLANK**. So, you don't need to check for an update every day. I wish I could post new chapters as early as possible but I have to concentrate on my studies too.

 **-x-x-x-x-**

 **A/N:** Let me know your thoughts and also if you spot any spelling error or grammatical error, do tell me.

Bye.


	16. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

 _Dearest — my body is simply crazy with wanting you — If you don't come tomorrow — I don't see how I can wait for you — I wonder if your body wants mine the way mine wants yours — the kisses — the hotness — the wetness — all melting together — the being held so tight that it hurts — the strangle and the struggle._ – Georgia O'Keefe

 **-x-x-x-x-**

Viscount Uchiha could not have masked the unease that slid over his face, had he even been aware of it. His brother, Sasuke, drifted into the house, drunk and gloomy. It was getting ridiculous, really, Itachi thought exasperatedly. Third time in the week, Sasuke had come home completely inebriated.

Sasuke swayed dangerously, knocking off an ancient vase before retaining a semblance of sobriety and headed towards his chamber, reaching out to the wall for support.

Itachi averted his gaze, angered and pained by the sight. His brother was set on a path of utter ruination and he could do nothing to save him. Initially, the spirits were to ward off the nightmares so, Itachi had not questioned the empty bottles that the maid threw out every morning.

But as their number grew, so did his suspicion.

Itachi, however, remained patient and observed his brother for the following days. Sasuke did not eat properly; more often than not his gaze would be fixated on the opposite wall as if seeing things. And there would be such a ferocious blankness on his face that it chilled Itachi to the core. Sasuke was barely holding onto his sanity and Itachi did not know what to do.

He had never felt more helpless before.

That he reveal Mitsuki's identity, the thought had crossed his mind several times but the more he observed his brother, the more he wondered if Sasuke could share a healthy attachment with Miss Uzumaki.

Sasuke was a changed man… a broken one. He had put all hope of recovery on a woman he knew nothing of and was obsessed with finding her. He was not himself. He drank himself into a restless stupor each night. He was agitated, easily startled and any question regarding war, turned him frighteningly silent. Itachi was not fooled by the facade; he noticed the tensed jaw, clenched hands and the barely restrained anger simmering beneath pale skin.

Could Naruto Uzumaki even manage him?

Sasuke was a danger to himself and if the situation arose, would he be able to see beyond the fog of rage? It was an ominous notion but the possibility of it being true was what made Itachi keep Sasuke in the dark, despite the temptation being great.

A loud crash snapped him out of his thoughts. His alarm increased when he heard a woman shrieking, calling for Sasuke. Forgetting all sense of propriety, he rushed to the source of noise. He found a trembling maid outside his brother's room. She bowed immediately and then sniffled, "Your grace, mas"-

"What is it?" he asked sharply. She opened her mouth to speak but closed it abruptly when the pungent smell of smoke filtered into the air. It was coming from beneath the door… from inside.

Itachi went cold all over, fear gripping his heart as morbid thoughts attacked his conscience. For several moments, he could do nothing but stare at the door.

It was when the odor grew potent that he moved into action. His fists thumped against the door incessantly. He was losing the threads of his composure too quickly. "Damn you, Sasuke! Open the blazing door!" He heard a few more things crashing but the knob did not turn.

Itachi took a few steps back and then, hurtled shoulder-wise into the wooden entryway.

"You infuriatingly stupid brat!"

The voice was not his own, quivering and dare he say, scared. He moved back again and was about to crash into the portal when it swung open.

Sasuke stood on the other side, calm and safe. _Safe_. Itachi almost sank into the relief that poured into his body.

His brother was alive.

Oh God.

He realized belatedly that he was shaking with the effort to stay still. Every cell of his body was urging him to make sure that Sasuke was actually there. He had never felt terror like this ever in his life. He had felt small, weak and powerless. What if he had lost his sibling?

"You have not called me a brat in years," Sasuke said quietly. He paused hesitantly and refused to meet Itachi's eyes. "I missed that."

It was as if someone knocked the breath out of his body. How could he, nay… how dare he?

A huff of relieved laughter escaped Itachi, shoulders sagging in reprieve. "Damn you, brat."

 **-x-x-x-x-**

When smoke had escaped the room through windows, which Sasuke had kept open, Itachi went in to examine the damage and perhaps, have a chat with his brother.

Sasuke was not trying to kill himself, after all. He was only intending to obliterate whatever connected him to the war. His uniform, the medals, the plaques… anything he could think of. Despite his best efforts, he had only managed to burn the uniform and a few medals. To prevent a recurrence, Itachi asked a maid to remove all of it to a different room, away from Sasuke's wrath.

He turned to Sasuke who was more sober than earlier and was sprawled gracelessly on a velvet upholstered chair. Deciding that a direct approach would be the most effective one, he asked, "What caused this, Sasuke?" When the younger man did not respond, he coaxed, "Tell me, little brother. What is troubling you?"

Dark eyes snapped to his and the bitter ache in them almost made Itachi flinch. "Leave me alone, Itachi. This does not concern you."

"If it is my house you intend to burn during one of your episodes, then I am bloody well concerned." His eyes turned sharper and colder. "A strong intuition tells me, you were hoping for more. Perhaps… an end to your life?"

Sasuke shrugged nonchalantly. "An added bonus, I admit."

"Do not make me come there and discipline you, little brother. Devil can take your seven and twenty years to hell."

"Tch." Sasuke smirked sinisterly. "Language, brother. Our ancestors must be turning in their graves." The tone of his voice was becoming harsher, colder with each syllable. "I wonder what father would say. The heir, he is so blazing proud of, has a filthy, rotten mouth."

Itachi did not believe him for a moment, but the words did sting a little. It had been the topic of constant conflict in their household. Since, Itachi had been the first born, the title was passed on to him. Sasuke was not even presented with a chance to prove that he was equally worthy of it. Deep down, Sasuke resented him for such unfairness but his unadulterated adoration for Itachi, had always managed to eclipse the negativity.

Itachi was well aware of it though this was the first time, Sasuke had spoken of it out loud.

"You will find, Sasuke, that I do not stray from the point so easily," he pointed out grimly.

An unknown emotion flashed in Sasuke's eyes as his demeanor shifted noticeably. He was getting angry and trying to suppress it, Itachi concluded wearily. "Go away, Itachi." When Itachi did not move, something in Sasuke broke. It was as if he had been holding onto it with all his might, too afraid to let go. "What the hell do you want from me?"

Itachi moved towards him cautiously.

"No!" he shouted like a wounded beast. "Do not come close. Do not say anything. Just go." A pause. "Please."

Ignoring the broken quality of his request, Itachi insisted, "Why?"

Sasuke gave an impatient shake of his head and got to his feet. He threw Itachi a damning glare. "I am leaving."

"Where are you going?" Itachi asked wearily.

At the doorway, Sasuke turned and shot him a baleful look. "To the nearest tavern I can find. Why? You wish to join me?"

"You are better than this, Sasuke."

He chuckled, a dry and humorless sound. "I would not be so sure, Viscount."

Itachi ignored the distant civility. "How can I help?"

Sasuke did not speak for a long tense minute. "Tell me who she is," he whispered softly.

Inwardly, Itachi grimaced. "I do not know."

Sasuke shook his head imperceptibly, hurt and accusation entering his eyes. "Why are you doing this, Itachi? You know her, I can tell." He took a deep breath and continued in a soft voice, "Do you want me to beg? Because, Itachi… anything… I will do anything. So… please. Tell me."

"I am sorry, little brother."

Sasuke snorted in disdain and walked out of the room.

"Wait, Sasuke," Itachi said, following after him. He stopped but did not face Itachi. "Tell me, if another woman- say, Naruto Uzumaki- were to trade appearances with Mitsuki and all that you esteem in Mitsuki was transferred to her… would you want Miss Uzumaki?"

Sasuke did not deign the question with a response, no doubt considering it completely pointless and stupid.

When the crack of a door closing reached his ears, Itachi closed his eyes as terrible guilt seeped into his blood.

 **-x-x-x-x-**

Next morning, Sasuke woke up with a dreadful ache in the head. He had staggered back into the mansion, four sheets to the wind, late in the night after drinking for hours into a state of numbness. He had gone to a nearby tavern, flamboyantly decorated with tiles and expensive prostitutes roaming in every corner.

Despite the artful advances of several lightskirts, Sasuke had paid no attention to them.

He wanted the woman he had never seen.

He wanted Mitsuki.

The morning light, bleak and small, made him take an inventory of his exhausted body. The pallor of his skin was almost sickly. He was aching, dry mouthed and reeked of bad quality liquor. If there ever were a time he needed a bath more, he could not recall it.

He rang for the maid to draw up a bath. Once she was done and gone, he stripped off his stifling attire and stepped into the tub. The water was warm, wonderfully so, and as he sank into it, his muscles tingled pleasantly. He leant against the porcelain and closed his eyes, soaking in the warmth. For many minutes, he did not move and simply enjoyed the peace.

When the water began to lose heat, he quickly scrubbed himself clean with a bar of soap. Satisfied with his hygiene, he shaved and dressed fast. As he finished tying his cravat, he remembered the argument he had with his tutor regarding the importance of a valet in the lives of men of rank.

Sasuke had been disgusted by the idea of grown men needing another man to help them dress. The very idea was incomprehensible to him. If he was capable then why hire another human to do the job?

Needless to say, when he had revolted, the old duke had not been happy. It was a rule of the society. An expression of peerage. But since Itachi had the same views as Sasuke, Fugaku had to relent.

He sighed; his hand unconsciously reaching for _Pandora_. He pulled out the last letter she had written and read it for the hundredth… he could not remember.

 _Please come home and find me._

He started, gripping the piece of paper tighter, when there was a knock. He locked the letter back into _Pandora_ and moved to open the door.

"Breakfast has been served, sir."

He nodded and followed her into the parlor where Itachi was already seated, impeccable as ever. When he did not receive any form of greeting, he grimaced. His actions yesterday would not be easily forgiven, he thought grimly, taking a seat and began eating.

As the silence stretched, so did Sasuke's discomfort. He could take on anything, except this polite and silent Itachi. When their gazes met momentarily, there was not a trace of blame in Itachi's eyes. This only served to make him feel even worse about himself.

Sasuke was drained of strength as his nightmares were getting worse. Sometimes in the middle of a conversation, he would return to the front; helpless as he watched his comrades fall one by one. The visions… flashbacks followed him everywhere, striking any time his guard was lowered.

How was he supposed to explain this to Itachi, without appearing utterly insane? Hesitantly, he opened his mouth to utter the apology so desperately needed but it would not come.

How could it?

The knowledge that Itachi, who knew what she meant to Sasuke, was deliberately keeping her from him, made resentment rebel freely inside him. He knew that Itachi never did anything without justifiable reasons. But, by God, what was more important than Sasuke's peace of mind?

Also, there was a probing feeling niggling in the back of his mind. It was something important and related to Miss Uzumaki in some way. Only, he could not recall what it was.

Suddenly losing all appetite, he pushed the plate away from his line of sight. His head hurt awfully and the world around him was in a dizzy. He gritted his teeth, cursing last night. If he had a gun, he probably, nay, surely, would have shot himself.

He got to his feet, wincing slightly. "I am leaving."

"Another tavern?" Itachi asked dryly, mouth set in a stern line.

"No," he answered through clenched teeth. "It is time I properly explored this village."

"Hn," came the dispassionate response before Itachi returned to his breakfast.

Sasuke decided not to examine the present predicament and walked out of the house hastily.

 **-x-x-x-x-**

There was absolutely no reason to hope for anything, Miss Uzumaki scolded herself mentally, especially where Sasuke Uchiha was concerned. What did it matter that since calling upon her a week ago, she had heard nothing at all from him? It did not matter that he had not found her lively enough to send at least a note… regarding his health, of course.

Good lord, her excuses were beginning to sound disbelieving even to her own ears.

She groaned realizing that Hina had been right in her assumptions. She was obsessed with Sasuke, in an entirely non-healthy fashion. Now that she had seen him, her mind was filled with him and the changes in his disposition. It was impossible for her to carry on as usual. She was constantly on edge, afraid that he might discover the truth… that Itachi may as well reveal it.

Two nights ago, she had woken up in tears; her heart not able to bear the stress of so many volatile emotions and dreams catching up to her conscience. Since then, she had felt feverish and fatigued and terribly anxious. The activities that usually cheered her up, only added to her morose person. In fact, she had become so morose that her mother took it upon herself to make her feel better, although being entirely unaware of the reason for such misery.

This led to the present scene of Miss Uzumaki walking next to the countess, smiling pleasantly at acquaintances that crossed their path. They were going to Ichiraku's to place an order for ramen, which Naruto was extremely fond of, and perhaps, buy some sweet things for Kyuubi.

"What a delightfully surprising meeting, Captain!"

Her eyes snapped to the man, standing respectable steps away stiffly. Forgetting all sense of propriety, she examined his demeanor openly. He was not sleeping, if the dark smudges beneath his eyes were any indication. There was a yellow-ish quality to his skin tone, making it seem gaunt and ill. Even his gaze was unfocused as if he was not really with them.

The countess, meanwhile, continued to exchange pleasantries and he responded meticulously and distantly.

Was he even aware where he was?

She had promised herself that she would not seek him out, no matter what. But at that specific moment, she felt incredibly pained by the utter blankness of his countenance. So, it was no surprise that she offered,

"Care to join us, ca"- she corrected quickly- "Mr. Uchiha?" The change in address caught his attention and secretly, she reveled when he looked at her. "We are headed for Ichiraku's. Its owner created the wildly popular dish- ramen. Have you had a taste of it yet? It is simply heavenly." Her mother nudged her not so kindly in the ribs, interrupting her speech. Wincing, she grinned apologetically. "Forgive my blabbering, Mr. Uchiha, but do join us. It will not be a waste of your time, I promise you."

It took him a long minute to nod hesitantly. She beamed and was about to lead the way when her mother, once again, poked her hard in the ribs. "Take his arm," Kushina whispered under her breath.

She rolled her eyes but, nonetheless, obliged her mother.

It was a few seconds later that her senses registered that she was standing beside Sasuke. To keep traitorous thoughts away, she blinked up into his face, which was further than she had expected. One could not appreciate how tall he was until they stood right next to him.

Together they strode to the shop as Kushina spoke of this and that. Naruto added her part whenever necessary but he did not speak a word. She could not even discern if he was listening or not. Unconsciously, she squeezed his arm in comfort… and to bring him back to the present. If he felt the gesture, he did not respond visibly but she thought that he appeared calmer somehow.

She donned her best cheerful grin as they entered the antiquely crafted shop. She was determined to make him relish his first bowl of ramen. When they were seated, she turned to him. "Which flavor would you like?" she asked and then proceeded to name the different ones.

"Anything but the one named after me," he muttered when she finished the long list.

She checked her amusement and placed an order for her own favorite flavor. As they waited, she took the opportunity to observe him some more.

This time, however, he noticed.

"Flattered as I am, Miss Uzumaki, I assure you, my profile does not deserve the open curiosity such as the one you are displaying," he snapped.

She flushed under his accusing glare. "Forgive me, sir," she said and then, after a breath, she added, "I have done nothing but apologize to you today."

He raised an elegant eyebrow. "Hn. You have only done it twice and it has not been more than half an hour. Quite mortifying, is it not?"

She grinned at the wry tone. "Not one of my finer half an hours, I admit." The ghost of a smile touched his mouth but it happened so quick that she wondered if she had imagined it. "How is Kurama coping? Has he adjusted to living here?"

"Quite well and no, he has not," he answered thoughtfully. "As long as other humans do not approach him, he is harmless. Otherwise, he is a hellion."

Naruto laughed lightly at the description and the frustration lacing the deep, smooth tremor of his voice. "When I was younger," she told him, "my brother used to call me a hellion. I took great pride in the title and grabbed whatever chance I could to live up to it."

"Which would end up with our home becoming a warzone as Naru and Kyuubi battled for dominance," Kushina added cheekily. "Minato and I, on the other hand, battled headaches for the next few days."

"Do not believe my mother for a second, Mr. Uchiha," Naruto said solemnly. "We get all our hellish traits from her, after all."

This remark earned Naruto another painful jab in the ribs and a scolding cry, "Naru!"

Rubbing her sore side, she grumbled, "It is true." Vaguely, she conjectured Sasuke's reaction to their behavior. He would have surely found it unbearably uncivil and peculiar. Thus, she was startled by the quiet interest swimming in the depths of his dark eyes.

In the next minute, however, he was concentrating on the hot, steaming bowl of ramen placed in front of him.

She left him to it and turned to her own meal.

This was a good day, she concluded.

 **-x-x-x-x-x-**

It was when they stepped outside the shop that everything went downhill. Sasuke was just about to take his leave when Kiba Inuzuka walked up to them. He had spotted them and came running to deliver a message. She was very delighted to see her friend, no doubts regarding that, and eagerly made the introductions.

Kiba, as every other person, was in awe of Sasuke and for several minutes could do nothing but sputter incoherently. The countess decided that Kiba had suffered enough humiliation and asked him kindly, "How can we help, Kiba?" It was a sign of the familial nature of their relationship that Kushina addressed him so informally.

Kiba and Naruto had grown up together, playing and exploring.

"Father said that you can bring Achilles tomorrow for trimming of his hooves," he answered, stealing admiring glances at Sasuke.

"Achilles?"

Naruto stiffened and was about to interrupt her friend but it was too late. "Oh yes. Achilles is a mule, hideous really. It belongs to Naru." Color left her face and her body became heavy with fear and guilt. This was not supposed to occur, she thought wildly. "I do not understand why anyone would want such an ugly creature. Its hunchbacked with a bad posture and trots like a lame."

"Its sire," Sasuke hesitated briefly but then continued sharply, "Did it belong to a farmer?"

"No," she replied, a touch too quickly. Her nervousness was clearly shining through her mien. She swallowed thickly.

"I swear, you are becoming more and more scatter-brained with every passing day, Naru," Kiba chided offhandedly. His shifted his attention fully to Sasuke and informed him correctly. "Yes, it did but how did you know, captain?"

Sasuke closed his eyes momentarily. His reply was very soft. "Someone wrote to me about it."

She flinched, recognizing the indifference in his voice for what it really was-carefully shielded anger.

She was nearly suffocated by the weight of her own worry as conversation flowed around her. He did not… _would_ not look at her and she had never regretted anything more than asking him to accompany them earlier. He would want an explanation. How was she supposed to pass it off as what it was not in reality? She could say that Achilles was a nice name but rest? What was she supposed to say to that?

Heavens above, she was well stuck in the maze she had created herself. As for him, it seemed he was no longer interested in the subject since he was conversing nicely with Kushina and Kiba.

Her anxiety settled somewhat as she noticed that the previous subject was easily forgotten.

"Come, Naru. We are going back."

She nodded readily, anything to get away from an irked Uchiha. She stepped a little further from the group as Kushina exchanged farewells. Her breath hitched when Sasuke came with her mother who was smiling brightly at her.

"Captain Uchiha has kindly offered to walk us back. Is that not terribly nice of him?"

She gave the pair a tight smile. "Yes, very."

Sasuke shot her a deceptively charming smile. Oh, how it chilled her to the bones! "In return, Miss Uzumaki, I hope to be introduced to this notorious mule of yours."

His manner was most definitely relaxed but his gaze… was that of a predator. Her mouth went dry. There would be no escaping him. Not now. Not ever. She gulped uneasily.

"Today?"

He gave another one of his smiles. "If it is no trouble."The message was loud and clear. He was daring her to refuse.

She did not dare. "It is no trouble at all."

With that, she sealed her fate.

 **-x-x-x-x-x-**

 **A/N:** I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. I struggled with it a lot, especially with the Sasuke and Itachi part. I don't know how it turned out so please let me know if you feel it lacking something or if it was good.

There is no need to check for an update every day. Really. It kind of makes me feel guilty. A new chapter will be up either by the end of this week or the one after it, okay?

Drop a review regarding this chapter.

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Thank you to the following people for leaving behind a review for the previous chapter. All of you are awesome!

 **LyKatherine Adhara, CHARA ATE MY SOUL, lazyrebel, Marcy lin, Cat Beats, TheBeauty, hlyarts, Guest1, thinks-too-hard, punklena, Frwt, Bad Mr. 7, Guest2, DanteAzel, Guest3, Guest4, Tatahasi, AlenaPatano, 2468097531.**

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Thank you for correcting me, **2468097531**. I really had no idea about it. I have fixed the part about the three-legged pony. Now, it's a tail-less dog and I have done proper research regarding it. Taillessness is genetic and such dogs are not able to relay certain emotions like fear or happiness. Also, about the missing hoof, I really didn't wish to change the name. So, Achilles is now hunchbacked with a bad posture and all hooves intact.

Lots of love for you, **AlenaPatano**. I'm sure you're going to love the book. Also, I read ' _The song of Achilles_ ' last week and it was really good. A bit lengthy but interesting. I used to think of Achilles as a character from the Trojan War, nothing else. There aren't really many stories about him. But, now, after reading the book, he has become more fascinating.

Sasuke was petrified because of his reaction to her, **Guest**. The way she talks to him, like she has known him forever or the fact that she acts like she understands his situation. He doesn't want her getting close to himself. It is terrifying to him that Naruto is so easily breaching his walls. Also, he is starting to realize the similarities between her and Mitsuki, at a subconscious level.

That's the impression I got when I read ' _Carry on_ ,' **Tatahasi**. Draco and Harry. Baz and Simon. I didn't know it was true so thank you for confirming it. Also, thank you for the compliment. Lots of love.

I have begun reading _Second chances_ , **thinks-too-hard**. So far, it has been amazing. So, thanks a lot for suggesting this fic. Also, I almost dread reading the last updated chapter because then I'll have to wait for a new one. A taste of my own medicine, I guess. LOL

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 **A/N:** In case, you pick any grammatical errors or some mistakes, do inform me. I will fix them as soon as I can.


	17. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16**

 _I hurt with the insatiate longing, until I feel that there will never be any relief until I take a long, deep, wild draught on your lips._ – Warren Harding

 **-x-x-x-**

Meek. Downtrodden. Subservient.

That is how polite society described, and expected, companions to be. Kyuubi, next in line to the earldom, wondered exasperatedly why they could not have gotten one of those. Instead, his parents had hired Sakura Haruno who, in his opinion, cast a rather unflattering shadow over the entire profession.

Putting away the book he had been reading, he regarded the unwelcome guest in his study. Dressed again in a gloomy grey, she was glancing at a spot behind his head quite forcefully. There was a tenseness in her mien that greatly amused him. Kyuubi was not a beast, nay, only that Haruno was skilled at bringing out the worst in him, without even moving a muscle.

He experienced the same sting of annoyance that bothered him whenever in her presence. It had something to do with the scarf covering her hair, the pristine paleness of her skin and the painfully corseted tiny waist that made him wince just looking at it.

What irked him the most though were the thoughts that followed such observations. He could not help thinking about her without the pins, laces, scarves and the resident grayness. And heavens help him, he wanted to be the one to unpin, unfurl… completely set her free of the restrictions she swore by in clothing and life.

He shook his head imperceptibly and said, "I do not suppose you are here for tea and conversation, Haruno."

If possible, her spine straightened even more and she looked ready to charge into battle. _Against me_ , he concluded wryly. "I need your help."

Kyuubi smirked devilishly. He could only imagine how much it must have pained Haruno to ask for his assistance. She would rather have floundered herself over coming to him.

"What do I get in return?"

"A gentleman," she snapped icily, "would have jumped in to help a lady in need, no questions or favors asked."

"I am no more a gentleman than I am a scoundrel, Haruno."

Thin lips pursed in a tight seam as she scowled openly. "I had hoped to find a more reasonable man."

"Give and take is the law of nature." He shrugged nonchalantly. "How much more reasonable do you wish for me to be?"

She bristled, getting ready to deliver a lecture. "There is no such rule when it comes to helping those in need, _my lord_."

He tilted his head to the side in mock bemusement. "What if the one in need considers you their mortal enemy?"

"You are a mean-spirited, immature cad who does nothing but sneer at others' misfortune! You dis"-

"Surely Haruno, I am not that bad. There have to be some redeeming qualities about me."

"I am afraid that there are none, _my lord._ None that I can appreciate."

"Despite your prejudice, I am the one you reached for in your time of need," he supplied as a matter of fact.

She colored somewhat prettily, he thought distantly. "Naru and Lady Uzumaki have gone out," she explained stiffly. "I could not have asked Lord Uzumaki for such trivial matter. Since all help is on leave today, you were the only option left."

"Here, I thought I was special." He sighed theatrically. "You are quite adept at demolishing a man's self-esteem, Haruno." A helpless laugh escaped her and he was surprised to note the pleasantness of the sound. "Tell me, Haruno. What do you need my help for?"

She shifted on her feet and exhaled softly. "I was taking a walk in the garden when a strong gust of wind snatched my bonnet. Fortunately, it got caught by a high branch. As it so happens, that particular bonnet is very dear to me. I want you to retrieve it for me."

It was spoken more like an order than a request. No matter, he was not expecting anything else from her.

"In simpler words, you wish me to risk my neck to rescue a bonnet?"

She smiled succinctly. "It is _your_ tree that holds my bonnet captive."

"True," he admitted with a grin. "Though, I am beginning to find it exponentially advantageous to side with _my_ tree. Less dangerous for my neck, you see."

There was a minute of silence in which he was sure, she was considering whether to curse him to all seven furies of hell and be done with it or play right into his hands. It appeared that she chose the latter.

"Fine, you win," she huffed impatiently. "What do you need?"

He pretended to ponder for a few moments, just for the sake of it. "Take down your headgear and let me see what you are hiding."

A stunned silence followed his words. She stared at him, wide-eyed and… frightened? She opened her mouth to speak but no sound came out. The cold demeanor vanished and replacing it was something much softer and vulnerable. Seeing such dispirited response, one might have been moved to pity but Kyuubi had been harassed by her mysteries for far too long.

He wanted to find out all her secrets, at any cost possible.

"Forgive me, my lord," she said shakily and spun on her heels as she finished, "But I cannot."

She walked out, leaving him frustrated and curious.

 **-x-x-x-**

Sakura dare not step out of her room, for the fear of coming face to face with Kyuubi was too great. Earlier in the morning, she had run out of his study without any explanation. There was no way he would not have suspicions. If he did not have any before, he would have surely developed so many now. It was her own fault; she should have maintained her composure.

It was only that Kyuubi Uzumaki affected her in ways, she had not believed possible. He had a way of riling her up, fiercely and intensely, and no weapon in her arsenal was able to fight off the feelings he gave birth to. He set her on edge at all moments.

Last week had been extremely taxing on her nerves. His annoyance, sarcastic remarks, relentless teasing- she could live with it but his aggression, directed solely at her; she realized she could not bear it. He did not look at her for days after the accident. It was as if she had ceased to exist in his life and it had scared her- she no longer mattered to him… that she had come to care of her importance in his life.

It was pathetic, really.

Today was the first time that they had an exchange since the accident. If she had not gone to his study, would they have never talked again?

Somehow, she did not want to know the answer to that question.

Before she could ponder any further, a knock broke her chain of thought. She rose up to answer. The door, however, was swung open and Kyuubi Uzumaki stepped inside, grinning slyly.

"How dare you come in…" Her voice dissolved into a surprised gasp when her eyes noticed the rose colored bonnet in his hand. The color in his cheeks was heightened and he was panting slightly. His icy blue eyes were sparkling due to exercise. He was a glowing picture of male health and vigor. She found herself flushing the longer she stared at him.

"You brought my bonnet," she managed weakly.

Kyuubi did not speak. Instead, he closed the door and approached her in swift and precise strides. There was something potent and concentrated about his gaze which made her shiver involuntarily. Unconsciously, she backed away until she had come against the edge of a small dressing table.

"What are you doing?" she sputtered indignantly as he braced his hands on the table, on either side of her. She shrank backward, trying to create the much needed distance. His alluring scent was all around her and helplessly, she breathed in- wood, sandalwood, subtle cologne, sweat and clean, masculine skin.

Nervously, she licked her lips. Unwanted heat burst in her abdomen when he followed the motion. Her blood turned into liquid need as the air thickened with forbidden desire.

She took a deep, steadying breath. "Th.. This is not appropr"-

"Show me, Haruno," he whispered softly. "Show me what you are hiding."

His voice was so seductively persuasive that she had to force the truth down. He could not come to know. She shook her head desperately, incapable of forming a lie. It was too damned hard.

Her chin was tilted up so that she stared straight into his eyes.

"What are you afraid of, Haruno?"

She trembled under the ferocity of his gaze and gave another brief shake of her head. There was pause where she thought him struggling with self-control. Her body was overflowing with conflicting impulses, to be near him or move away. The hand holding her chin, caressed the line of her jaw tenderly. Her breath caught in her throat, completely under his spell.

"Tell me, Sakura."

She gasped when a shiver ran down her spine. The words tumbled out of her mouth before she could stop them.

"I do not want you to hate me."

Blue eyes widened slightly. "My opinion should not matter, Sakura, given how openly you despise me."

Had Sakura been in control of her senses, she would have bashed her head against the nearest wall.

"I have never despised you, my lord."

He stared down at her intently. A minute or perhaps two passed by without any movement from either of them. Then, he spoke clearly, "Do forgive me for this, Sakura."

"For wha"-

The rest of the sentence drowned against his mouth. She stiffened and put her hands against his chest in protest. He seemed to not notice her objection as his fingers slid to her neck, awakening unknown nerves and stroking gently. One of his arms wrapped around her waist and drew her close until she felt the hard contours of his torso. The sinuous power of his body surrounded her and she could not help relaxing into it.

He kissed her deeply, insistently and pleasurably. Another began as soon as the previous one ended. Moist, intimate caresses against her mouth. She quivered in his arms, unable to support her body. When he released her softly, holding her impossibly near, she was filled with the dreadful urge to stay like this forever. He was so kind… so-

She did not notice the hand undoing the knot of her headgear. Her hair cascaded down in shimmering waves along her back. Her hair… she hated them. Unnatural… pink.

"No!"

Sakura stopped breathing, heart sinking into abyss. She could not decide what hurt more- the fact that he had deceived her or that he knew part of her secret. Panic seized her and she struggled vehemently to be free of him. She did not want to see mockery or judgment in his eyes.

She had to leave. Run.

"Heavens, you are stunning." He was staring at her with a mixture of awe and surprise. When she lifted her face, he leaned down and said in a husky and soft voice, "Why would you conceal such beautiful hair, Sakura? It is blasphemous."

"Stop this," she begged. "You have what you wanted so please, leave me be."

"I am afraid I cannot oblige you on this, darling."

Darling? Green eyes widened behind round spectacles. "No, no…" She shook her head for emphasis. This could not be happening. "You are mocking me, deriving amusement at my expense. You are an unprincipled lout! An impetuous villain! A deceitful rake! And-" she paused to think of more epithets but failed splendidly- "Bugger you!"

To her astonishment, he threw his head back and laughed. A lock of her hair was curled snugly around his index finger and he freed it slowly.

"Glad to know that your personality has not changed with the big reveal," he said, grinning teasingly. "Had you suddenly lost your spine, I would have shot myself at the very moment."

Her heart began thumping loudly as relief poured into her blood from all corners. He truly did not mind the abnormal shade of her hair.

"I used to dye them," she told him softly. "It is such a strange color, you see. When I was younger, I was called Jezebel's helper. My parents did not mind but it affected me terribly. When I was sixteen, I began dying them. Last year, Naru saw the apothecary mix and insisted that I do not do it again since I was ruining my hair."

"That is not the full truth, Sakura."

She smiled slightly. "Of course, it is not."

Kyuubi did not speak for a while but he stepped away from her.

"Do not hide anymore, Sakura. You are safe here." He nodded in her direction and walked out of the door. She lowered to the floor, knees brought close to her face.

The bonnet lay forgotten on the table.

 **-x-x-x-**

No words were exchanged between Naruto and Sasuke as she led him towards the stable. She was absurdly aware of every little sound- his breathing, swishing of leaves, shoes biting into the slightly wet ground. As they approached the shed, the pungent smell of hay, feed, horses and manure thickened. Earlier, she used to be comforted by it but at the moment, it gave her jitters of all sorts.

She was not prepared for this.

She dragged her feet, wanting to delay the inevitable forever but it came much too soon. She opened the door to the stall and pointed inside.

"This is Achilles," she said quietly.

The small mule came forward to greet them. Miss Uzumaki smiled lovingly at the endearing creature. Achilles was not at all the best-looking mule but his imperfections held such abundant charm that it was impossible to not adore him. His big brown eyes always melted her heart.

Sasuke reached out to pet Achilles who nuzzled against his hand. His gentleness with Achilles somewhat settled her nerves. Maybe, he was not as angry as she supposed him to be.

She was startled out of her thoughts when he spoke softly,

"The most peculiar thing happened to me today, Miss Uzumaki." He was still petting Achilles, not at all looking at her. "Before I encountered you and Lady Uzumaki, I was returning from war-office. It seems someone, a Miss Namikaze, who had been corresponding with me for the last three years does not, in fact, exist."

Finally, he glanced at her. She almost cowered under the cold blankness of his gaze. He smiled, unkind and sinister.

"What do you make of it, Miss Uzumaki?"

She suppressed a shudder and willed her voice to come out when it appeared that he was expecting an answer.

"I… I do not know."

His smile did not fade, only grew more hostile. "Do you not?" He tilted his head a little. "It was fortunate that we came across Mr. Inuzuka, for you see, I had every intention of paying him a visit today." He turned to her fully and she resisted the urge to lower her eyes. "It is rather startling that the mule that Miss Namikaze claimed to own belongs to you. Quite murky, is it not?"

She took a deep breath. "Yes, but I do believe there has to b"- Her voice trailed into nothingness as she saw the exact moment in which his self-restraint snapped. Alarm coursed through her but before she could even take a step out, he had seized her and pinned her against the wall with astonishing swiftness.

There was moment of stillness in which both were breathing harshly into whatever space was left between them. His coal eyes were burning with volatile emotion that was waiting to drown her. For a heartbeat, she swore she saw a flash of red in his eyes. All semblance of elegance, she used to be envious of, had vanished from his bearing. He was rumpled, hurting, betrayed and above all… furious.

"Did you help Mitsuki write those letters?" he asked roughly. When she failed to respond, Sasuke growled threateningly, "If you have any sense of self-preservation, you will answer me truthfully, Miss Uzumaki."

Blue eyes widened with indignation and guilt. "No, I did not." Not a lie but not the complete truth even.

He nodded with satisfaction. "Now, tell me who is she? Why would she deceive me?"

Somehow, it stung that it never occurred to him that Mitsuki and her might be the same. Was he that repulsed by the idea of her?

"I do not know."

"No, you know something. You have Achilles and she wrote to me about him, albeit misleading on its ownership."

She closed her eyes for a few seconds, steeling herself for what would come next. "As I said, Mr. Uchiha, I do not know anything."

"Do not bloody lie to me!"

She could feel his fury. The air was charged with it and her heart was thrumming painfully loud in her ears.

"This behavior," she said with exceptionally calm voice, "will do neither of us good. Please let me go."

"Is this revenge?" he asked softly.

She frowned. "Revenge?"

"Because I said you are suited to life in a forest."

By God, he was extremely skilled at destroying her pride. She could not believe that he held such a low opinion of her. The realization gave her the strength to prod further.

"Contrary to your estimation of my character, I am not the least bit vindictive."

This only served to anger him further since he leaned in and hissed, "Understand this, I have been shot, bayoneted, stuck in a ditch and treated by officials so foxed that they could barely stand on their two feet. I have faced death but nothing… nothing has hurt like this."

Naruto swallowed thickly in the pause that followed.

"I am sorry," she said, not sure if she was sympathizing or apologizing for adding to his pain.

"Devil take your pity," he snapped, eyes narrowed dangerously. "I only want a name… the bloody reality."

"Why should it matter?" she questioned desperately. "Why do a handful of letters mean so much to you?"

"Because… damn you, I was deceived… strung along on mere pathetic lies which meant a great deal more to me than it ever did for her!"

Her eyes watered. She longed to tell him that he was wrong… that his words meant the world to her so much so that she was willing to lie to him. Some mistakes could not be forgiven and he would hate her. He did not want her. It was obvious with how he never even considered the possibility of her and Mitsuki being the same person.

She was too frightened of his scorn and too ashamed of her own actions.

"Damn you," he burst out. His fingertips found the damp surface beneath her eyes and rubbed it soothingly. Naru felt more tears slip beneath her lashes, no matter how hard she tried to blink them away. His face lowered as she shivered under the delicate caress of his hands. She tried to push him away but he held on, one hand sliding to her neck.

For one terrifying moment, she wondered if he was going to choke her.

Instead, his thumb moved in a subtle swirl at the base of her throat. The intensity of her own reaction scared her so much that she struggled to get out of his hold. "Stop," she pleaded unsteadily.

 **-x-x-x-**

"Stop."

It was his cue to move but damn it, he could not. His body refused to shift. His entire attention was focused on the cerulean eyes, wet with tears that rolled down her smooth skin. He had seen women, his previous lovers, crying before but it had never given birth to such a tumultuous response in him. Heavens, he was almost cradling her face in his hands.

Holy hell, it had been a long time since he had held a woman. He closed his eyes and felt her breath stroking his chin. He felt her supple, feminine form everywhere. Her warmth, her scent… all sinking into him, captivating him. It seemed as if all those years of want and need had instilled into this one slender female in that very moment.

He knew that he should put some distance between the two before he did something but thunder an' turf; he was tied down by the enticing picture that was her. He did not realize when the anger in him was replaced by desire.

He shook his head to clear it.

"Not until you tell me," he said in a surprisingly husky voice.

She looked up at him, determination shining in her eyes. "No."

The radiant will in her amused him… provoked him. Why was she not admitting to everything? He had her cornered. What in the name of heaven was she hoping to protect? Why was she being so damned stubborn?

A humorless laugh escaped him. He could do anything but confound her, she was annoyingly calm about her situation. Aside from her tears and the red suffusing into her cheeks, there was no other sign of her unease. Silently, he allowed himself to admire her nerve.

"I will hear the truth from you, Miss Uzumaki."

She swallowed and unconsciously, his thumb followed the undulating motion with fascination. She stared at him with bewilderment. He let his touch linger and saw her tremble, not in disgust, nay, but in pleasure. There was something so surreal about the moment that Sasuke did not want it to end. The unspoken emotion between them intensified so much that his mouth neared hers without any comprehension on his part.

He was well and truly lost in the sensation.

Muscles clenched, heat gathered beneath his skin… in inconvenient places and the hair on his nape stood in impulsive exhilaration.

And then, he kissed her.

He groaned when every muscle of his body sighed in bliss as soon as their lips made contact. He stopped thinking altogether and kissed her with reckless abandon, giving into the feeling. He nibbled her lower lip, making her gasp. The instant he gained an opening, he drove in. The delight of the erotic nudges and intimate caresses echoed throughout his soul.

And heavens above, he wanted so much more. He wanted to drag her lips over every inch of her body and leave behind impressions of his touch on her being. Naruto responded helplessly to him, holding onto him listlessly. His mouth slid along her jaw, behind her ear… down her slender neck. His hands roamed all over her covered form indecently, drawing her impossibly close. The softness of her shape supported the firmness of his body.

Her fingers were entangled in his hair, soothing the scalp and his nape. She whimpered when he sucked at a sensitive place, right where he felt her pulse.

Hell, he could not stop kissing her… She was intoxicating him. It took all his will power to separate himself from her. Her blue eyes were dazed and half closed. He drew in a sharp breath to focus his thoughts. He caught her jaw firmly and whispered against her lips, "Is it you?"

He had not realized how much hope he had put into her answer until she delivered it and dashed it all.

"No."

Dark, baffling rage surged through him. He could not bear looking at her so he took a few steps away. He had been wrong.

"Sasuk"-

"No," he hissed in warning. "Do not say a word."

He turned around and strode away from the stables. He had to get away before he let his anger to speak for himself.

 **-x-x-x-**

 **A/N:** Okay, I loved writing this chapter. It took me a while to decide how to go about writing it but once I started, it was fun. There is a lot of room to think in this particular chapter, especially with how much idiotic Naruto is being and poor Sasuke. Then, there is Sakura and her secret. Also, the progression in their respective relationships.

Do tell me your feelings about this chapter. If you felt it was good or if it needed something more, let me know.

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A massive shout out to the following people for leaving behind a review. I say it every time but damn it, your reviews really do make me extremely happy. I love and appreciate each one of them.

 **TheBeauty, bootkr00, lazyrebel, Miss Jackson Grayson-Barton, LyKatherine Adhara, Cat Beats, Itooshii Koneko, CHARA ATE MY SOUL, srirachacha, Frwt, , BlackZ3r0, LongPastMidnight, Guest1, Toffee, bunnyguest, DanteAzel, Shirube Hikari, ai rosete, rii young leafpool5, Guest2, sagar hussain, Troublesomefox21, zackfairfan**

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I heard the song- Nothing without you by The Weeknd- and you're right. It does fit with this fanfic, **rii young** I kept playing 'words' by Boyzone, when I was writing the contents of the letters that Naruto and Sasuke shared, on loop.

Sorcery… it might be, **LyKatherine Adhara**. LOL. I hope you enjoyed this chapter.

Congrats, **CHARA ATE MY SOUL**. You might think I'm dumb because I didn't know what you meant so I had to check it on Google.

 **-x-x-x-**

 **A/N:** If you find any spelling or grammatical errors, do tell me.

Also, if anyone reads my other story- Amor vincit omnia- and is wondering why it hasn't been updated in a month well, it's because I am exhausted. I only ask you to be patient as I will finish it up. Promise. But first up, I am going to complete this one up as it is closer to finish line.

 **-x-x-x-**


	18. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17**

 _The tender word forgotten,_

 _The letter you did not write,_

 _The flower you might have sent, dear,_

 _Are your haunting ghosts tonight._

 _\- Margeret Elizabeth Sangster_

 **-x-x-x-x-**

"You are frowning, dear. Quite passionately too."

Miss Uzumaki pretended to not hear Hinata's remark over the melodic opera. They were attending the royal opera which put up a show once every year in Konohagakure. The hall was filled with a beautiful blend of sounds from different musical instruments.

Her eyes, though, were fixated, two rows down, on a particularly frustrating man who was at the moment being catapulted on the road to deafness, curtsey one Ino Yamanaka. She was well aware that she had not any license to feel such angry emotions. In fact, she, herself, had thrown away any claim to such privilege.

Yet there she was, biting her inner cheek every time a high pitched giggle reached her ears.

Good Lord, she needed saving.

"You must stop, Naru," Hinata scolded under her breath. "Do not forget that you are not alone in this hall."

"She has been all over him since the beginning," she said, gaze still not moving.

Hinata smiled softly, an amused glint was lighting her features when she reached for her hands. She clasped them gently and pressed until Naru looked at her. She said nothing for a few seconds. Naru blinked in confusion. Slowly, Hinata heaved a sigh.

"People are not blind, Naru. They are noticing your lack of interest in the music and your excessive obsession with the back of Captain Uchiha's head." Hina released her hand and turned to stare forward. "I would not be surprised if he has become aware of it too."

Naruto felt herself turn scarlet and then petulant in the span of a few seconds. "I cannot help it, Hinata. It is as if my body is not my own anymore, which I believe is the most ridiculous I have ever felt." She breathed out lazily. "I am an established spinster, Hina. I have nothing to lose in the eyes of the society."

Hina did not speak for a full minute.

"You should have told him the truth, Naru," Hina whispered softly, after making sure that no one was listening to their conversation. "You are torturing the man on purpose."

"Not on purpose," she corrected and repeated the three words just to secure their certainty. The warm evening, barely a week ago, was fresh in her mind and heart. The fear, nervousness, anxiety… excitement and that absolute sensation of bliss… devastation… the unbearable sorrow. She remembered it all. When she had returned to her chamber, she had cursed, cried… cursed and cried some more. In that split second after he had asked, her thoughts had turned blank and she recalled the disdain when he had spoken of her years ago.

So, she lied.

But she had not cried because of that. No. She had wept because of what happened next. She saw him change, right in front of her eyes. Charcoal eyes turning to an icy crystalline black. He retreated into a shell, closed off from the world… from her. And it had hurt. So much so that she had almost reached out.

But, it was too late.

Her fear of rejection had turned him away.

"He must hate me," she muttered under her breath but Hina, somehow, managed to hear it.

"I would not make any such assumptions so soon." Naru looked up at her but she was still staring ahead, her lips pursed into a painfully withheld smile. "I can see why you love him." When Miss Uzumaki tilted her head in confusion, she explained, "He has glanced at our box thrice since you have stopped glaring into his."

"Has he?" If not for the restrictive hand on her arm, she might have stood up in surprise and made fool of her person.

"Heavens, Naru. Do not make yourself appear even more lovesick," Hinata scolded urgently. "Unless, you are to tell him the truth, I suggest you not make any scenes in public."

"I do not know what to do."

"Apart from ending this deception," said Hinata unhelpfully, "I do not see what else you can do."

"It is not as easy as it seems, Hina," she responded miserably, wondering if she would be able to catch him staring. Perhaps, her friend was right. She was behaving like a fool.

"Are you quite certain to that, Naru? You have a chance at true love and you are running away. Why?" She paused and concentrated on her fully. "Captain Uchiha does not deserve this. You are taking away his shot at love too, which I believe is the cruelest thing one can do to another."

"He does not love me," she said quietly. "He loves Mitsuki, not me who is as tame as a wild horse. He has an imagery of Mitsuki in his thoughts. I can never match up to his expectations."

"This is not the place for this conversation," Hinata said simply and they both fell into a contemplative silence until the end, aware of the curious glances thrown across their way by gossiping hags.

 **-x-x-x-x-**

In the carriage ride, much to Naruto's misfortune, Mrs. Akasuna decided to resume the previous subject of their conversation. This time, however, her tone was compassionate and firm. "I have heard the rumors, Naru," she began steadily, "about Captain Uchiha. They must have reached your ears too. People are saying that he is not quite right in the head since he has returned.

"Devil take those rumors!" Naruto responded with more heat than she had intended. "Despite what they say, people do not miss a chance to show him off at their infernal gatherings."

"No. Listen to me first," Hinata cut in sharply. "He drinks every day, all day without any restrictions. Also, he tried to burn the Uchiha mansion."

"That is a lie."

"No, it is not. He was trying to destroy whatever connected him to the war. Captain Uchiha is hanging by a thin thread and it will not be long before he comes for himself, Naru." Miss Uzumaki grew cold all over. The more Hinata continued, the more the feeling intensified. "Sasori knows the Viscount personally and even he thinks his brother's condition is out of control."

"Are they giving up on him?" she questioned angrily.

"I do not know but that is not our concern, Naru. What matters is how you feel about this. Are you still against revealing your secret?" When Naruto did not respond, Hinata asked, "What is stopping you?"

Naruto hardly knew how to reply to that. "I do not know. I get this sense of insecurity every time I am near him, Hina, as if I am not enough. What if I am never enough and he realizes that?"

Her friend stared at her, unblinking and thoughtful. "But what if you are enough?"

She gave her a look. "You do not know that." To her surprise, Hinata smiled victoriously.

"Exactly, dear. There is no way to answer a ' _what if'_ , unless you have lived it. You say he loves Mitsuki. He came to love someone without knowing anything about her physical charms. This proves that his love is sincere and true. You have said so yourself- he is a changed man."

"I know that," she murmured.

"He deserves to have such love returned in, if not more, equal measures." Hinata took her hands and patted them gently. "Despite your many 'supposed' eccentricities, dearest friend, you deserve love too. I believe it to be highly unfair for a love story to have a sad ending."

Oh, how easy Hinata made it all seem. Self-doubt was intrinsically tied around her body, pulling her two steps back for every forward one. She wished every night to tell him everything and promised to do so the very next day. But, it was nothing but pathetic wishful thinking. She would pretend as if she had never made such promises just a few hours ago.

"This is not just about you, Naru."

"I know."

"Good."

 **-x-x-x-x-**

She sighed grimly. It appeared that it would be another sleepless night. Just as she finished that chain of thoughts, there was a knock on her door and Sakura entered her chamber in a disheveled and panicked state. Unlike usually, her companion was far from her calm and collected self. Her green eyes were wide behind her rimmed spectacles.

"Is everything alright, Sakura?" Miss Uzumaki asked, getting up from the bed and moving towards the futon. It took Sakura a minute to form a reply. "Has Kyuubi done something uncivil again?"

Her companion shook her head. "I saw him, Naru," she answered shakily.

"Who?"

Sakura took a deep, shuddering breath before answering. "My grandfather." Naruto sat up straighter instantly. "He is here… in Konohagakure."

"Where did you see him?" she asked quickly and then added hesitantly, "Did he see you?"

Sakura shook her head fervently and she heaved a sigh of relief.

"I was with your mother, going to the local apothecary to buy ingredients for mixing the dye." Sakura turned to look out of the window hopelessly. "He was making inquiries, Naru… about me."

"You do not know that," she assured softly.

Sakura moved her bewildered gaze to her. "What else could he be doing here? Far as I can recall, he hates leaving that blasted mansion."

Naru opened her mouth to tell her to stop worrying but could not formulate the proper sentiment. To some degree, she could understand the position Sakura was in. Fear was the right reaction given her situation.

"Whatever shall I do, Naru? If he somehow locates me… I cannot go back. No. I could not bear it." Sakura took a deciding breath. "I must leave. If I leave tonight… I shall be out of his rea"-

"You are not going anywhere."

"You do not understand, Naru!"

"But I am trying to"-

"Look at me, Naru… I am a damned woman. Do you believe it easy for me to leave this place? You have become my home." There were tears streaking down her face and it broke Naruto's heart. Her voice cracked. "How could I ever live with your parents and Kyuubi learning about my past? Kind as they are, they will surely find it in themselves to accept me still… But every time they would look at me, they will never see me the same… I could not bear living like that."

"Oh, Sakura."

"Please. I must leave."

"No."

"Nar"-

"No, Sakura. This must stop." Miss Uzumaki led her companion to the settee and handed her a glass of water. "You cannot live your entire life afraid of that disgusting man. Today, you are running from here. Tomorrow you shall be running from somewhere else."

Naruto stared at her evenly.

"You say that we have become your home. Then, let us do our duty by protecting you because that is what families do."

Sakura shook her head dejectedly. "I am not your family, Naru."

She waved her concern away airily. "If you want it in paper, it shall happen soon anyway, I believe, if my idiotic brother does not mess this." She was quite pleased with the faint color that bloomed on Sakura's pale cheeks. "That is not the matter right now," she continued gravely, pacing the length of her room. "I think… I think that you should tell my parents and Kyuubi."

Sakura shot to her feet. "You have gone mad, Naru, if you believe that I would do so."

"What else can you do?" When Sakura had no response, she prodded on, "If you leave, who is to say that your tyrant grandfather will not find you afterwards? This, right here, is your chance to finally be free of that vile man. You do not have live in fear anymore, Sakura."

"I cannot do this to your family… to Kyuubi."

Naruto smiled gently. "Are you not selling my brother too short? I am starting to get offended on his behalf." She saw the doubt swimming leisurely in green eyes. "Do not forget that my brother is no… innocent lad."

"This is too much," Sakura said after a few minutes of silence. "I want to believe in you. I really do… But, what if everything goes wrong?"

Her throat closed up in that moment and it took a strong effort to respond coherently, "There is no answer to a 'what if' unless you have lived it, Sakura."

 **-x-x-x-x-**

"You better have a damned good reason for dragging me out of bed," Kyuubi said groggily. He was handsomely disheveled and quite adorable like this, Sakura decided and then, grew horrified at the thought. She had never imagined having such notions regarding any man, much less Kyuubi. But there she was, hopelessly drawn to the man.

There were times where she envisioned herself in love with Kyuubi and living a long lost dream of happiness where he loved her unconditionally and there was so much joy and serenity. Then, she would wake up in tears and heartbroken. It could never be, she told her heart repeatedly with advancing sternness. Her stubborn heart, though, still hoped every time she looked at Kyuubi.

When he had kissed her last week, it was as if the world was suddenly ready to forgive her past sins. Kyuubi had looked at her as if she was most beautiful woman in that moment and it had filled her with endless warmth. Of course, then he had to ruin the mood.

Still, she cherished that moment.

He had promised that she was safe in the Uzumaki household. It seemed that the moment of truth was closer than he had anticipated. She and Naruto had decided on this. Naru would speak to her parents and Sakura to Kyuubi. Although, Naru had wanted to accompany her but Sakura knew that she needed to do it alone.

She drew in a deep breath.

"I have to tell you something."

"Heavens, could this love confession not have waited until morning, Haruno? Believe me, I would have been more receptive."

"There will never be a love confession, I assure you, you vain, uncouth cad," she said, trying to suppress the unexpected giggle that threatened to come out at the most unfortunate time. She gulped nervously, fingers playing the fabric of her skirt. "It's the truth about me." She glanced at him and begged, "Just listen please."

She saw the surprise that filtered across his countenance.

So, she began.

"I was born to a wealthy family here. My parents raised me with all the affection that this world had to offer. It was the best childhood someone could wish for. I grew up loving the world… the people… everyone." She paused momentarily, getting herself prepared for what was to come next. "When I was ten, my parents died and I was sent to live with my maternal grandfather in Kumogakure. I had not known the man since he refused to acknowledge my parents' union. You see, they had eloped."

She smiled sadly.

"My grandfather is not exactly known for being loving. To date, I do not know why he accepted to keep me in his home. Perhaps, he wanted to punish me for my mother's actions. Perhaps, he wanted to prove to himself that he could raise me better." She sighed. "Anyways, time in my grandfather's haunting mansion was nothing short of hell. I was not allowed to go out or meet people. I was disciplined for every misstep. Out of all my flaws, it seemed my hair annoyed him the most."

"He called me all sorts of names… Jezebel's spawn… abomination of nature… It used to pain me in the beginning but slowly I built resistance to it. You see, the more he said it, the more I believed it to be true. The more he struck me, the more I felt that I deserved it. It was a vicious prison and I wanted to get out but had no courage."

For the next part, she looked right into his beautiful, pained eyes.

"When I was sixteen, my grandfather slipped up. He made a mistake. He allowed me to go outside to learn horse-riding. According to him, all young ladies must know how to hunt whilst riding. My teacher was a young man, no more than five and twenty. He was soft-spoken, kind and everything my grandfather was not. You cannot begin to imagine my elation and joy in the time I spent away from the mansion."

"I suppose that it comes as no surprise that I began to love my teacher. It was not the passionate sort of love. No, it was innocent and warm and wonderful. The feeling, itself, was so amazing that it made me rebel. I started hoping… dreaming and that was my flaw."

"I confessed my ardent love, reciting some silly romantic prose I had written. I remember the moment still. My teacher's brown eyes widened and he did not speak for quite some time making me flustered and worried. And then, he had smiled angelically. How I wish I could have recognized him for the snake he was." She sighed. "Suffice to say, it was a blissful summer month in which he fed me elaborate lies and sweet nothings."

Her eyes glistened reminiscing and fearful of what was coming. She choked on the words but caught herself bravely. There was no returning now. She had to tell him everything.

"I was so blinded by him that I… I gave him everything." She sucked in harshly. "I… I let him take my virtue." She averted her eyes from Kyuubi, suddenly aware of what she had told him. Even if she had been stripped naked in front of him, she did not think she could have felt worse. "I was naïve enough to believe that he would ask for my hand. He never did. When I asked him to, he failed to recall any promises. He refused to acknowledge what we had. He threatened to tell everyone that I was..."

"I was so angry and confused. I did not know what to do. I was hurt badly." She began walking to relieve the tension in her bones. "I hit him, just as my grandfather did. I kicked, scratched, punched until my knuckles were bloody. In that moment, I wanted to end his life. For the first time in my despicable life, I had something to look forward to but it was all a cruel illusion. Why did it have to be me?"

She knew her eyes must be blood-shot by now but Kyuubi needed to know the darkness in her. "I was ready to kill him, Kyuubi. I stood over him with a rock in my hands prepared to break his skull open. But then, I realized how my grandfather had succeeded. I was no longer my mother's daughter. Everything was my grandfather's doing. In that split second, I decided that I could no longer stay there. I saddled my horse and left right then." She took a moment to compose herself. I had no resources, nowhere to go but I kept riding until I reached a point when I could not anymore. I blacked out in the middle of nowhere."

"That is when Lady Tsunade found me and took me under her wings. It seemed that I had been travelling nonstop for the whole week on an empty stomach. She tended to me and took care of my needs. Whenever she would ask questions, I would close off."

"It was not long before my 'paramour' told the public that Sakura Haruno was a loose woman and how I had tricked him into playing my little games This just made my grandfather more thirsty for my blood. This news reached her ears and Tsunade made the connected the dots very quickly. This time, I told her and she helped me escape."

"Since then, I kept moving from one place to another until Tsunade called me back."

At last, she looked at him. Good heavens, only if she could discern his emotions. He was sitting still, eyes focused and lips pursed. What was he thinking? Did he hate her?

"Why are you telling me?" he asked emotionlessly.

She very visibly gulped. "My grandfather is here and I believe, he is searching for me."

He got up from his seat and walked to her. "Is that the only reason, Haruno?"

She wished she had the chance to revise her thoughts. "No."

He was standing in front of her. She felt his warmth and wondered if she could lean into without seeming inappropriate when his hands pulled her in his embrace. It was like something inside her finally broke… a weight lifted at last and she wept into his hold for dear life.

He did not tell her stop and let her ruin his plain white shirt. She did not know if she could have stopped.

 **-x-x-x-x-**

It took Sakura some time to quiet down. In that time, Kyuubi had brought her some tea and sweets. She blew into the napkin uncivilly, making him grin which eased another knot inside her abdomen. She took a sip and allowed the warmth to spread to her toes.

"You are good with crying women," she observed.

He smirked. "I am good with all women, Haruno." He looked around hastily and whispered, "It's my mother's and Naruto's influence. My sister has the knack of getting injured and then bawling her eyes out. When we were young, I really liked making fun of her. Then, my sweet, god-send mother set me straight and here I am."

Sakura could not help but smile.

"Naru is amazing," she said. "Wise beyond her years and courageous."

"She is amazing, is she not?" A note of unconditional fondness entered his voice. "Rest of your words, I cannot agree with. My sister is wise when it comes to others but when it comes to herself, she is the most foolish person alive."

Sakura put down her cup and stared at the man speaking casually to her as if she had not just revealed the darkest phase of her life. He seemed awfully accepting of the situation and it bothered her. She was still not sure of where she stood with him. Did he think of her any less? Did he not see her as anything beyond her soiled status?

She had to know.

"You have not said anything about my past."

"I did not think you would want me to."

"Well, I do want you to."

"No need to get angry, Haruno," he said, putting his hands up in surrender. "If you wish to know, then I am furious about what happened to you. If I could, I would go back in time and protect you from everything. But I cannot and it makes me feel utterly helpless."

He was evading the topic. Damn him.

"What of my social status?"

"What of it?"

He was so nonchalant that it made her want to reach out and shake him. She gritted her teeth.

"I am not a virgin."

There, she said it.

"Neither am I," he retorted while shooting her a mock-shamed glance. "Honestly, I do not see where you are getting at, Haruno. You were wronged in so many ways and you had every right to kill that man for toying with your emotions. Stop blaming yourself for falling for his charms. If I began to assess my character based on the criteria set by society, I will rank far below you."

A reluctant giggle escaped her.

"You are a strange man, my lord."

"Now, let us not label each other so soon, Haruno. It is in bad taste."

She laughed a little but then asked sincerely, "Does it really not bother you that you have a fallen woman living under your roof?"

"Since it does not bother my parents to have a loose man living in this house, I suppose, I should have no problem at all."

His sincerity mixed with easy humor made it hard for her to look at him… to not love him.

She jumped a little when the door opened and Naru and her parents came in. Their smiles were not unkindly. Sakura could see that their way of her perceiving her had not changed. It even seemed absurd of her to think that the Uzumakis would throw her out because of her past. She had never come across people like the Uzumakis- unique, accepting and beautiful. How could she have doubted them?

"Where are your manners, Naru?" Mrs. Uzumaki scolded. "Always knock before you enter. You startled the poor girl."

"Yes, sis. Listen to mother," Kyuubi added playfully. "Haruno and I could have been in an appalling state, for all you know."

Instead of responding to him, Naru turned to her. "If you ever get the urge to kill him, please do not hesitate. In fact, I promise to assist you."

"My sister has been threatening to kill me in my sleep for years now."

"You should probably know that I am waiting for you to do so yourself, sweetest brother of mine."

Kyuubi grinned, a flash of white teeth.

"My sister," he said to Sakura, "Terrifying girl."

Naru poked out her tongue in his direction, earning a slap to her head. "Mother!"

"Stop behaving like imbeciles, you two!" Kushina scolded. "We have important matters to discuss."

"Like Haruno's promiscuous past?" This comment did not sit well with the countess who did not waste a moment to box her son's ear. "Ow! Mother!"

"Well deserved," Naruto chimed in, grinning ear to ear.

"Not a word out of you, young lady," Kushina glared and Miss Uzumaki closed her mouth promptly. "I have gray hair because of you two."

"You are almost fifty, mother."

"You are not that young, mother."

Both said at the same time and Sakura decided to leave a prayer for their well-being. She swore she heard the countess swear bloody murder before chasing her kids through the room whilst the count took a seat at the table as if it was a regular occurrence.

"Naruto has told us your story, Sakura," Mr. Uzumaki began kindly, paying no attention to his wife reprimanding their children in foul language. Some of the words made Sakura wince. He followed her gaze and smiled obligingly. "I see you are surprised. Pay them no mind. It has been a long time since they managed to make Kushina this violent. Despite her demeanor, I assure you that she missed her children behaving like children."

Sakura could only nod.

"About your grandfather, do you wish to have any connection with him?"

"No."

"It needed to be asked. Now that it is out of the way, I plan to visit him tomorrow and see what can be done to keep him away from you."

"I do not think he will listen."

"Then, he will be made to understand that you are no longer part of his family. You are one of us."

"Thank you."

He gave her the same smile that he gave Naru and Kyuubi. "Do forgive me, Miss Haruno. My children need saving."

 **-x-x-x-x-**

 _25 June 1835_

 _Sasuke_

 _I have spent quite a few hours wondering on how to start this letter. I still do not know. I have much to say to you… much to express and I am failing miserably in doing so._

 _You see, sir, I sent you a letter first, four years ago, out of pity and gratitude. In a desolate state, you took in a helpless animal and took care of it. This, I believe, after careful consideration, was the first instance you touched my heart. I was thankful to you._

 _I also pitied you. Alone, away from the comfort of your life in war. I could not begin to imagine the horrors you might be encountering. I merely hoped to send some encouragement. Nothing more._

 _Needless to say, I had no hopes for a response._

 _But it came, sir. Until that moment, I did not realize how much I had wanted an answer from you. What began as a harmless act of comfort and sympathy soon transformed into something I could have never imagined. It became special… overwhelming… beautiful… everything._

 _But my confession holds no meaning, sir. For you see, I have been nothing but evasive. I have deceived you._

 _You have every right to hate me._

 _But do believe me when I say that, essentially, I am the same person whose words you have cherished more than anything._

 _After breaking our correspondence in the most dishonorable manner, I swore to never write another letter. I have spent every night since then, remembering you.. trying to somehow feel your presence through the words you sent. The warmth kept waning and I could not discern why._

 _Deep down, I am sure, I have always known the reason. I merely pushed it out of my conscience. I was shrouded in a shawl of insecurities and self-doubt. But more than that, I was selfish._

 _So damned selfish._

 _I claimed to love you but refused to acknowledge your feelings because I was afraid of my own getting hurt. Looking back, it was always 'I don't know' 'he will not love me' 'I cannot match his expectations' 'what if'_

 _I made choices for the both of us._

 _Since the beginning, it has never been about me but I made it about me._

 _This is about us._

 _And I have been horribly slow in realizing this. I hope you would find it in your heart to pardon me, for I shall be trying my best to be deserving of your forgiveness. You have my word._

 _You ought to have all the answers._

 _You know where to find me. I shall be waiting tomorrow for you._

 _With love_

 **-x-x-x-x-**

 **A/N:** Hello. First up, I'm sorry for not uploading this fanfiction. My only excuse is that life happened and the experience, generally, hasn't been good. There was a lot that happened and all this time, I've spent to try and get through.

Secondly, Thank you so much for sticking with this story 'til now. It does mean a lot and to put your worries at rest, yes I will finish this fanfiction up. I wish I could thank each one of you individually but there isn't much time. This will probably be my last project on this site. So yeah, I'll do my best to not disappoint.

Thirdly, I said so in the beginning that this story is not wholly mine. I derived inspiration for it from a book I read and crafted the story around it, adding my bits and parts to it.

Fourth, do tell me if you liked this chapter and if you find any spelling or grammatical error, point them out.

Bye.


	19. Chapter 18

_**Chapter 18**_

 _So dear I love him, that with him all deaths I could endure, without him live no life. ~John Milton_

 **-x-x-x-x-**

Miss Uzumaki spent the better part of next morning reassuring Sakura and apologizing to the countess for last night's impudence. _It was a harmless joke_ , _mother!_ Thus she, quite understandably, forgot to ask Mrs. Tachibana to deliver her letter. She reiterated a number of times that it was not at all intentional and when her conscience argued back, she cursed insensibly in poor defense.

The envelope, lying on the bedside table, reproached her with innocence and heavy silence.

Good God, how she wished to it tear it into tiny pieces and throw them into the furnace!

She groaned, falling back into the settee unceremoniously.

Part of the problem, she supposed, was the fact that she did not really think this through. What would she do after sending the letter? If he came to her secret place, what exactly was she to say to him? She could beg for forgiveness, yes, but would he forgive her so easily? When he would ask for answers, how was she to explain everything without appearing like an dishonest person.

Would Sasuke even believe her?

She was not naïve enough to believe that everything could be resolved instantaneously. Sasuke would want to know why she deceived him. For some reason, she felt unafraid to tell him why but the aftermath of it all was what truly scared her. She did not wish to remind him of his derision of her and avoid the possibility of advancing this scorn.

She sighed.

Why was the universe doing this to her?

Had she not been extremely nice to it? She had showered every living creature, barring those poor excuses of human species in the ball rooms, with utmost affection and kindness.

Miss Naru broke out of her reverie when Sakura passed her a cup of tea.

Poor Sakura, she thought miserably.

There was very little color to her skin. A dull, sternness surrounded her thin frame making her appear more terse than usual, a reflection of her when she had first arrived at the Uzumaki mansion.

Sakura had been tense, not saying a word, lips pressed tightly into a thin line, since the moment Minato and Kyuubi had left to find her grandfather. Naruto had tried to calm her down by trying to distracting her but Sakura kept coming back to her worries, pacing back and forth incessantly in the space of Naruto's room.

The more Naruto watched Sakura, the more frustrated she became. This helplessness in her own life and Sakura's made her angry. She was failing in every possible way. She was unable to gather enough courage to fix her own situation and there was nothing she could do to help Sakura except wait.

She wanted to talk to Hinata, her voice of reason, but could not since Kushina had strictly ordered to not leave Sakura alone. Not that she could, not in a time when her friend needed her most.

"Do stop pacing, Sakura," she said, not unkindly. "It is starting to hurt my head."

Sakura appeared to have heard her since she stilled for a moment but then began again. "They have been gone for too long," she said anxiously. "I cannot help but think of the worst."

"You are going to gain nothing, Sakura, by covering the length of this chamber repeatedly," Naru answered lightly. "It will only pain your feet."

"Please," Sakura said, agonized, "do resist the urge to make this predicament bearable."

Naruto rolled her eyes.

"What must I do then?" she asked wryly. "Do not tell me you expect me to join in your walks." Naruto shot her a mock glare. "Forgive me but my affections do not extend that far."

"Stop it, Naru."

"If I only knew what I am doing to trouble you."

"Much as I adore your sense of humor, Naru, right at this moment, it is not welcome."

Naru sighed, once again, and stood up. She was tired, so much that it really made her wish the worst upon the circumstances. She stretched her arms, unladylike, and earned a disapproving cry from Sakura which made her grimace. Even in this time of distress, Sakura was observant about such silly etiquettes.

"Goodness, Sakura, how many more times do you wish to count the steps in this room?" Naruto asked, reaching out a firm hand to stop the other woman. "Are you not tired by this? You worrying incessantly will not bring my father and Kyuubi back any quicker."

"I have every right to be anxious."

"I am sure my brother will be extremely pleased to know about your concern."

Sakura colored momentarily but recovered herself quickly. "As it so happens, my concern extends to your respectable father too."

Miss Uzumaki pulled her friend down to sit beside her while she waved her hand airily in nonchalance. "Yes, I am certain it does."

"It does," Sakura insisted, horrified that she would dare think otherwise.

"I believe you."

"Your tone"-

"There is nothing wrong with my speech. You are just hearing things."

"Naru!"

Naruto beamed at her, resting a hand upon hers. She rubbed the pale, smooth skin comfortingly for a few seconds, admiring the quiet surrounding them. "Whatever happens Sakura, you are safe here. You have a family to protect you." Staring straight into green ones, Naruto added softly, "You are no longer alone."

Sakura did not speak for some time and she saw the struggle on her face, trying to accept what was in front and give in or resist it. Miss Uzumaki wondered why it was so difficult to make a choice when it came to the heart. Why was the fear of losing in the matters of heart always greater than the happiness of triumph in love?

"I know."

Naru broke out of her reverie upon hearing this.

"I would be devastated beyond measure… broken beyond repair, if I lost any of this because, dearest friend, I felt the bliss of being with you. So, the pain would be too much if it vanished."

Sakura exchanged the positions of their hands and stared at Naruto with moist eyes. "People are allowed to be petrified when it comes to love. There is absolutely nothing wrong with it. This is the only downfall of love, I believe, having someone else's existence matter so much that it hurts… in the best and worst ways possible."

Naru could not look away, could not utter a single word. She only heard as her friend continued to tell her how much she cherished being in the Uzumaki mansion, how she had begun putting back together her jaded self. The more she talked, the more Naru saw the sixteen year in Sakura come out and it made an inexpressible emotion took over her.

It was a beautiful summer day; the kind that would force Naru to roam the wilderness or explore the bustling streets of the village. How many days like this had she missed? She could not recall a time that she had spent such a day inside the mansion, except the last year or two. The things that used to bring her immense happiness lost their charm in her wallowing. How long had it been since she had rode a horse with not a worry in the world?

Goodness, when had she changed?

Did it start with sending Sasuke letters or with falling in love with said man? The answer came to her instantly.

No.

No, it began when she let the vein of insecurity tighten its hold.

She was not like this. She was Naruto Uzumaki, the rebellious, self proclaimed spinster with a troublesome but loving family that allowed her eccentricities to run wild. She had not been raised to be a coward, to change herself for anybody. But, there she was renouncing her character because she was terrified that Sasuke would never accept her.

He may not.

She had no way of knowing unless, of course, she asked him.

He may and she could not begin to comprehend such a future but the mere idea of it filled her with wonder and hope much greater than the dread. Until then, she had never really allowed herself to dream of a happy ending. It was strange and liberating to finally see the happier side of her story.

And, Good God, was it beautiful!

 **-x-x-x-x-**

Sakura could not believe what she was hearing. The Earl and Kyuubi had returned about an hour ago and recounted all that had passed between them and her grandfather. Apparently, her grandfather was suffering from an incurable disease and wanted to see his only living kin before the reaper came for his soul. As to how he came to know her whereabouts… he did not know anything. He was most pleasantly surprised to find her in Konohagakure. He had just stumbled into the village. It was his last stop before he gave up and returned to his house.

Once, Lord Uzumaki had finished, she glanced at Kyuubi and found him looking at her intently. His lips curled into a small smile and she released a puff of breath she had been holding intensely.

It was over.

She did not know what she had been expecting but it certainly was not this. She had not dared hope for an easier solution because she knew how heartless her grandfather could be. This was pleasantly surprising and she had trouble believing it.

"Would you like to pay him a visit?"

"Do not tell me, Father, you actually believed that pathetic old soul," Kyuubi questioned in a controlled voice. "You are well aware of how he treated her. In all certainty, it is a ploy to get her back."

Sakura had always been in awe of the Earl's calm demeanor. No matter the situation, he was never hectic with his responses. Had it been the countess, she would have responded with vigor but not Minato Uzumaki.

"The choice, I believe, is not yours to make."

"You cannot, honestly, trust her with this decision. You know, she will be driven by her emotions."

Sakura could not help but retort indignantly. "Excuse me!"

Kyuubi turned to her with an annoyed glare. "Do not take offense, Haruno, but you are a woman."

His words flared her anger. How dare he talk down to her just because she was a female. "So I am not capable of taking care of myself?"

"I never said that, Haruno."

"But you implied as such."

"I did not."

"Yes, you did."

"Heavens, you are insufferable."

"If I disagree with you, I am insufferable?"

"Do not be mistaken, Haruno, you are insufferable in general. When you disagree, you just become more unbearable."

"You uncouth cad!"

"Do keep your mouth shut, Kyuubi," Naru cut in impatiently. "Much as I am entertained by your bickering, we have matters to discuss."

"It would not look good on my character, sis, if I let her have the last word."

Naru was unimpressed. "You have a character?"

Kyuubi grinned, a flash of white teeth that made Sakura's heart beat to quicken. "You know just how to wound me, sis."

"I take great pride in it." Naruto was not herself; Sakura noted belatedly and could see that Kyuubi had observed it too. Naru was not really participating in the conversation. Her mind was elsewhere. "Now, Sakura, would you like to meet your dying old man?"

Sakura felt all eyes turn to her, one pair burning holes into her skin. The answer had been clear to her since the first time it had been asked.

"No."

The frown on Kyuubi's face was replaced by a triumphant smile and she soaked into the warmth that was spreading throughout her body. She could play noble and meet her grandfather but she did not want to. Not because she was afraid but because she wanted to close the door of her past. She did not want to remember the darkness that she had escaped from.

She was happy in this moment… happier than she had ever been.

 _This is it_ , she thought, _this is home_.

"Are you certain, Sakura?" Lady Uzumaki asked kindly. "This might be a chance for you to heal."

She shook her head. "I thank you, my lady, but I have made up my mind. You may be right but I do not wish for anything to do with him."

"Christ, I never expected to feel proud of Haruno," Kyuubi said, seeming scandalized by the discovery.

Before Sakura could rejoinder, Naru interrupted and stood up. "Yes, we understand quite well. If it is all settled, I would like to take my leave." She ran towards the exit.

"Are you in a hurry, Naru?"

Miss Uzumaki stilled at the door momentarily. "I am putting my spinsterhood on the line," she answered with a laugh and left without a backward glance.

"What did she just say?"

Sakura had the rare privilege of witnessing Minato Uzumaki being completely at his wit's end.

 **-x-x-x-x-**

Miss Uzumaki had asked Mrs. Tachibana to deliver the letter to the Uchiha household a few hours earlier. She wondered if Sasuke had figured out that she would be waiting for him at her favorite place. She ignored the questioning glances her parents threw at her throughout dinner.

Perhaps, she should have refrained from making that departing comment.

Her poor father seemed to have taken it the worst. She smiled internally and then immediately felt bad. She wished she could tell her father everything but she needed the courage for tomorrow so she stopped herself.

Her mother, on the other hand, made her want to drown in the nearest pond. Good heavens, the woman appeared as if all her prayers had been answered. She did not seem to care that her daughter was off to woo a man. Kushina Uzumaki was reveling in the fact that Naruto was at last saying farewell to spinsterhood.

She returned to her chamber early to escape Kyuubi. He would, in some twisted way, force the truth out of her. And she had an eerie feeling that Kyuubi was already aware of what was going on. She had only made it all the more amusing to him.

She shook her head.

She was thinking too much. Just as she convinced herself that Kyuubi, in fact, was too stupid to put together the dots, she heard a knock and Mrs. Tachibana dropped a note on her table and left with a bow.

 _You have my blessings._

She hated Kyuubi.

 **-x-x-x-x-**

Next morning saw Naru walking deep into the woods; her feet leading her up the familiar path. She became more and more aware of her surroundings. It was as if she was being welcomed by old acquaintances and she relished this warm friendliness the air. It was welcoming and comforting.

 _There is a route hidden carefully by the silver oaks and evergreens on the left edge of the woodland._

She made sure to touch the strong bark of each tree as she crossed the avenue, greeting them with a affectionate heart.

 _The trail leads towards a fallen oak tree covered entirely by green moss._

The majestic giant was almost entirely covered by moss and she carefully jumped over it. Since the surface was wet and slippery. When she landed, her hands were painted green and she decided against rubbing them onto her skirt.

 _There is family of linnets living on a silver birch just on the right._

The tree was still there but there was not a singing bird in sight. The nest was gone and so was the family living in it. The silver birch was strangely lifeless without the musical chirping. Placing a hand on the stem, she reassured it that new birds would come in spring. It would not be lonely for long.

 _After crossing the fallen tree, the path is straight and littered by leaves and branches and twigs. The music of the forest also strengthens considerably. At the end of the path, there is a little downward journey and it finishes at a clearing._

She took a deep breath, drinking in the stunning beauty before stepping into the clearing. It was as if a completely different world resided here, away from mankind. The grass was still green, the air fresh and clean and the atmosphere easing and peaceful.

 _A wisteria tree stands beautiful and graceful beside a sparkling lake… There is just the right amount of light to add to the magic of that place._

She stood under the wisteria, calmer than ever, and closed her eyes. She had purposely left in the early hours of the morning to have some time to collect her thoughts. She had played it inside her head over and over so that she did not falter when it would come to responding to his questions.

There was only chance and she would be damned if she ruined it.

Her head rose towards the blue and cloudless sky, she opened her eyes.

All that was left was waiting.

 **-x-x-x-x-**

It was late in the evening that Hinata opened the door to her house and found her dearest friend on the other side. Naru was completely still, no emotions in her disposition.

"He did not come, Hina."

And Naru broke down.

 **-x-x-x-x-**

 **A/N:** Thank you.


	20. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19**

 _When you're in love you never really know whether your elation comes from the qualities of the one you love, or if it attributes them to her; whether the light which surrounds her like a halo comes from you, from her, or from the meeting of your sparks._

~Natalie Clifford Barney

 **-x-x-x-x-**

After making sure that Miss Uzumaki was asleep, Hinata exited the spare chamber solemnly. She walked quietly to her parlor where a maid from Uzumaki household awaited her. With every step, she tried to come up with a plausible lie. Truth, as she was well aware, would only make matters worse. Mostly, she supposed, it was because she could not betray Naruto's trust.

Naru may never forgive her.

Bearing such turbulence in her thoughts, she returned the polite greetings that welcomed her as she made her presence known. When an offer of refreshments was rejected with respectful civility, Mrs. Akasuna made an aptly deceitful justification for Naru's stay. As Naru had many times before stayed at her house, it was hardly difficult to convince the maid otherwise. Adding into it Naru's recklessness, it was easily understood that she might have forgotten to inform her family of it.

Thus, sometime later, Mrs. Akasuna found herself brewing a cup of tea and feeling intensely tired.

She had never expected this. No matter the obstacles, she believed, the outcome would be happy. She was sure of it. She had seen it with her own two eyes; Captain Uchiha was attracted to Naruto. In the few instances she had gotten to observe the two, it was clear. His eyes would keep straying to Naru and vice-versa.

That is why she had urged Naru to tell him the truth. Had she been wrong in her judgment, a little too hasty? Could she have prevented such heartbreak?

Perhaps.

Sighing, she took a sip of her tea gone cold. It was no use thinking.

No use crying over spilled tea, she thought humorlessly and put away the cup. She did not wish to drink it anymore. She was too consumed in the events of the evening.

Why did the day go downhill?

 **-x-x-x-x-x-**

It started as a good day. She received a letter from Lady Tsunade, early in the morning, informing her that Sasori had recovered completely and only needed to regain in health before he could resume his past activities. She had not been unable to contain her joy and tears as she watched her husband go over the contents of Lady Tsunade's for the third time.

And then, she saw his dark eyes fill with an explicit emotion. Happiness… relief… and then he ruined it.

"My God, woman, you have done it!"

Hinata, patient as she was known to be, resisted the urge to smack her obstinate husband. Thankfully, he appeared to notice the change in her countenance for he drew her close. His hand came to rest on the delicate curve of her waist while his other one rubbed slow circles on her arm.

"I am merely jesting, wife." As she was about to protest, he added softly, "Hush, my love." He pressed a kiss to her temple before continuing slowly, "I have not been the nicest man to you but you, sweetest, gentlest, kindest Hinata… you have been nothing but perfect. You loved… love me when you need not. How can I ever repay you?"

She choked on sudden emotion. She remembered their days filled with arguments and fights. His anguished cries that kept them awake on several endless nights. His refusals to accept her help… his determination to push her away… to save her from himself… everything. It had hurt. Goodness, it had hurt so much.

"Hina?"

His voice brought her back to the present and she could not stop the tears that rushed down her cheeks. She was pulled to his chest and she wept. No longer was she able to hold back. This horrible, terribly stubborn, hard-headed man she had married out of nothing but pure love was going to live.

Another rush of tears burst forth from her eyes.

Soft murmurs were pressed down on her hair. His natural scent, devoid of the stench of the disease and medicines, grounded her. Although, it took her quite a while to calm down, the whisperings never stopped. The comforting rubs on her back did not stop.

She leaned back reluctantly. She must have looked utterly dreadful with her blood shot eyes but he did not seem to mind that much. His expression was one of doting fondness.

"Do not ever speak about leaving me," she said firmly in the space between them, staring deep into his eyes. "And love me. Just love me."

"Hina"-

"Please," she hated how broken she sounded. She wondered if he understood the deep rooted insecurity of her voice. If he could feel the damage he had caused by telling her again and again to leave. If he could see how he had sown the seeds of doubts in her heart with his stoic rejection of her.

"I am sorry."

Three words.

Not the three words she wanted to hear.

She did not want an apology.

"Look at me, Hina." She forced herself to meet his steady gaze. "You need not ask me to love you. I have always loved you. How can I not?" He paused to make sure that she was listening. "From the day you showed up at my door with that mad request, I have not thought of another. You make it impossible to not adore you. I am aware of how ghastly I have behaved but could you blame me?" He breathed out sharply. "How could I forgive myself for ruining your whole life just because mine was to end?"

"It was not your choice to make."

"But it was, for you see, you would have never made it yourself."

"I did not need to make that decision," she almost screamed. "Nor did you. I loved you unconditionally. All I asked was for you to trust it."

He did not speak for several long breaths. When he had reached a conclusion, he sighed. "I concede," he said firmly, "It was presumptuous of me to decide for you. It was done, however, for I love you and it was not easy to see the one I love suffer because of me. I hope you can forgive me."

She searched his face for insincerity. She found, to her glee, not a single trace of it. She hummed softly, once again leaning into him. This, she thought, everything had been worth this.

"Do not leave me," she whispered into the soft satin of his shirt. "Ever."

He pressed her impossibly closer.

"I would not dream of it, Hina," he muttered and then added with a chortle, "I have a feeling you would drag me back every time even if I tried."

"Would you try?"

"Never. I quite like living with you."

"Good."

 **-x-x-x-x-x-**

Slowly, Hinata snapped out of her reverie and started towards her shared chamber. She wondered if her husband was asleep. Probably not.

Hopefully not, her mind reiterated and she had to fight to keep the damned blush away from her skin. It would not do to enter in such a state. She needed her composure to face Sasori tonight. Since the beginning of his illness, they had not shared a bed. He would not allow her to sleep beside him. She was not sure if he would let her tonight.

Hina did not wish to rush her husband but it had been a long time since she had felt his warmth deep in her bone, surrounding her from head to toe like a comfortable blanket.

Given the turmoil in her head, she did not know of a better remedy than Sasori.

Just him.

She knocked on the oak door.

Once.

Twice.

And then pushed it to step inside. He was not asleep.

"It took you long enough, wife," he said in almost bored voice. He was faking stoniness. He was just as nervous as her. At least, he was not averse to the idea of sleeping next to her. Seeing his barely concealed anxiety, she checked the grin that threatened to appear.

"Forgive me, my lord," she answered. "I was tending to Miss Uzumaki."

"At this hour?"

She nodded and moved to sit beside him. Intertwining their hands, she laid her head onto his shoulder and breathed in. He was tense. She waited until he relaxed… waited until her own heartbeat calmed down.

"Can you keep a secret, Sasori?"

He stared at her before nodding carefully. So, she told him everything that was troubling her at the moment and he listened quietly.

Later when she lay beside him, her muscles unclenched and loosened. Her emotions slowed down and all thoughts left her. She felt at peace.

Finally.

 **-x-x-x-x-x-**

Hinata woke up drenched in all sorts of warmth and contentment. Adoring the feeling, she shut her eyes just to elongate the moment. Two more minutes of lazy happiness later, she forced herself to get up and check up on Naru. She pressed a quick kiss on Sasori's cheek, who she decided look absolutely delightful and endearingly beautiful in the morning with his mussed hair and healthy pallor.

Quarter of an hour after, she pushed open Miss Uzumaki's door and wondered why she had left Naru alone last night as she stared at the empty bed before her.

 **-x-x-x-x-x-**

She ought not to be doing this; Miss Uzumaki thought wildly for a fleeting second before her resolve returned with a vengeance and forced her feet to keep running in the direction of the Uchiha Manor. If Sasuke had rejected her, then she wanted him to do so to her face. So that she could crush any of the lingering feelings in her bosom.

She needed to hear it.

After Hinata left her alone, she had spent better part of the night just thinking about everything and nothing. In the end she had somehow concluded that since rashness was in her blood, she might as well take her chances.

It was so utterly absurd, it made her want to laugh.

Scandal.

Heavens above, she was running straight into a scandal that might ruin her forever. What kind of a girl from a respected family made such journeys alone and at such an inappropriate time?

On the other hand, a part of her mind supplied wryly, her spinsterhood would gain eternity.

The more she thought on it, the more she realized that she, truly, did not give a damn. It was not at all prudent, far from it, yet it felt better than sitting at home and wallowing in sorrow and self-pity.

Dejected as Naruto was, she could not help but declare his actions as ungentlemanly. Where was the honor in not showing up? He had every right to confront her yet he did not. Were his views on Mitsuki changed at last? Perhaps, he was tired of all the games, the deceptions, and decided to find someone who would really be there in flesh and bone.

As the outline of Uchiha Manor came into view, she slowed down her steps to a mere walk. It was then that she noticed how fast she had been running. Her legs protested with pain as she huffed and puffed. It took a few minutes for her breathing to start even. She put a hand to her chest, unsurprised, to find it thundering with panic.

This is absolutely ridiculous, she thought distantly, again, as she willed her feet towards the front porch close to the large door. No one was ever awake at this hour. (She would be up and about by this time because she was peculiar, she argued with the incessant voice in her head.)

She forced a gulp of air out through her mouth and raised a fist to knock. When the entrance remained shut, she tried again briskly. Twice.

She brought down her arm, disappointed and ready to turn back but her feet would not move. She had come too far. It was simply impossible to return without a proper answer.

Once more, perhaps. That ought to wake someone, she reasoned as she knocked particularly hard. Again and again until her knuckles blotched with red.

"Bloody hell," she cursed, when the door refused to budge. "Why will this damned gate not open?"

And then it did, so suddenly that she stumbled back in shock. A sturdy man stood on the opposite side, dressed in night clothes and clearly not amused with her antics. She steadied herself, patted down the creases on her skirt, abruptly aware of how ludicrous she must look. Her hair was a mess, her eyes swollen and gown wrinkled and covered in dirt. She would not be surprised if her head was generously sprinkled with dead leaves considering how fast she had run, not even caring to take the clearing.

She was not a sight to behold but a sight nonetheless.

"How may I help you this pleasant morning, young miss?" the man asked with thinly masked contempt. He did not think much of her. She would not too, she supposed, given the circumstances.

She swallowed the lump in her throat and cleared it loudly, much to his chagrin. "I would like an audience with captain Uchiha," she said, putting forth her best serious face.

His eyes swept over her in one swift motion. She could tell that he was appalled and she was unable to not sympathize with the man. No one liked to be woken up at ungodly hours. Especially by unchaperoned ladies who had business with their masters.

"Forgive me, madam, but not one of my master's personal affairs are ever conducted at the manor."

It took Miss Uzumaki a full minute to understand the implications behind his words. Her cheeks flushed with humiliation. He imagined her to be a…

Goodness, no.

This was all going wrong; not at all how she had wanted…

"Pardon me, sir," she said, a little shaken. "Perhaps, introductions need to be made. I am Naruto Uzumaki, daughter of Lord and Lady Uzumaki from the Uzumaki manor." She made a small bow following it. She was not sure if he believed her or not. It was difficult to deduce from his expressions. All she could read was annoyance on his face.

"Do excuse me for assuming, Miss Uzumaki, yet not many gently bred girls dare walk barefoot to a man's house, all alone, in the early hours of a day."

"I am one of the few _gently bred girls_ that do so, sir."

His brown eyes narrowed at the blunt reply and she bit her tongue. It was no time to be cheeky but he was beginning to make her angry.

"May I ask what your business is with young master Uchiha?"

"No, you may not."

He regarded her silently for some seconds. "You are not to meet him."

Blue eyes widened indignantly. "You cannot do that!"

"I very well can, Miss Uzumaki." When she opened her mouth to retort, he held up a hand for her to be quiet. "Hear me completely; you are in no state to make your conference." Once again, his gaze swept over her before he added, "Nor is it possible at the moment. Return home, make yourself suitable and then come back to see him. I shall not stop you."

She hated him.

How dare he! It was simply evil of him to prevent her. What kind of a butler behaved like that? He had insulted her, mocked her, made baseless assumptions… blasted man, she wanted to curse at him. He was looking down upon her. She could not stand people like him. She wondered if she could force her way through but she was tired and half his size. If she tried, she would only reinforce his views. Just for this reason, she pondered seriously on the matter until she realized that such behavior might lead to never being allowed near Uchiha manor, much less Sasuke.

"Please," she said, doing at poor job at miserably begging. "It is important that I talk to him right now."

"My offer remains unchanged, Miss Uzumaki."

"You are being incomprehensibly unfair. Sasuke will not mind how I look, believe me."

He was clearly taken aback by the use of first name. Still, he would not move. Naruto was frustrated and wanted to pull her hair. She had not run so much for nothing. Was this punishment for her deceptions? To be so close yet so far.

"Go home, Miss Uzumaki."

"I do not like you," she said, suppressing the tears that were threatening to fall. Had she not cried enough to last a lifetime already?

"I shall send for a carriage."

"No need," she said brusquely. "I do not wish to be a bother."

"You will not be one, Miss Uzumaki."

"Perhaps not but I do prefer walking all alone in the early hours of the day. I love nothing more than that." She turned her back to him since she could not bear looking at the door and knowing that she could not cross it. "Do give my regards to Kurama and your masters."

Then, she started the long walk home.

 **-x-x-x-x-**

"Heavens, child! Do you ever think of anyone but yourself?"

Kushina Uzumaki was rightfully furious with her so Naru bore the brunt of her mother's anger silently. Her actions had been irresponsible and completely fruitless since she gained nothing in the end. Her head was muddled and she wanted nothing more than crawl into her bed and fall asleep.

Yes, sleep.

She needed to close her eyes to the horrendous morning.

"Are you even listening, Naru?"

"I am sorry, mother, truly. I have been a terrible nuisance, I am well aware, to you, father and Hina but I had my reasons."

All fight seemed to leave Kushina unexpectedly. She pulled her daughter into an embrace and Naru had to dispel the urge to burst into tears. Her body was unbearably heavy and it hurt so damned much.

"You are not a nuisance, dearest child of mine," Kushina whispered, placing a soft kiss onto her forehead. "You have not been yourself for some time now. It worries your father and I so to see you like this. Why will you not share your troubles with us?"

Her mother did not mind the lack of response so she huddled closer into her mother's warmth. It felt nice. Better than she had felt in a while, she decided when her eyes began drooping. She distantly heard her mother speak but the bliss of sleep was too strong to neglect. She fell deeper into sleep's embrace completely.

 **-x-x-x-x-**

She was ready, Miss Uzumaki concluded. Not a hair was out of place and her dress was a perfectly sensible shade of beige. That blasted butler would have no excuse to not let her meet Sasuke now.

"You are not going anywhere, Naru."

Naruto groaned. "Go away, Kyuubi."

"After all your frolics, I am surprised mother allowed you out of your chamber."

She bit the inside of her cheek. She had no time for Kyuubi and his enquiries. She turned to him with a grimace caught in a smile. "She does not know."

He raised an elegant eyebrow, coming closer now. She avoided the icy blue eyes contemplating her. "You have caused enough mischief for a month, sis. Let the ones around you breathe for some time."

"I have not pinched anyone's nose."

She knew the look in his eyes. Kyuubi was not in the mood for playful jabs. He was fully serious and was intent on driving his opinion home. He would not back away easily. She braced herself.

"I do not care for your silliness, sis. So, retrace your steps."

"No," she replied defiantly. She's had enough of men telling her to do things.

"Damn it, Naru. For once, do what you are told."

"I shall do as I damned well please. You can bugger off, Kyuubi."

"What the devil is wrong with you?" Kyuubi asked, annoyance lacing his words. "And stop cursing for God's sake!"

"You are the one who taught me to curse!" she argued vehemently.

He seemed for a second stunned by the revelation. She almost laughed at his comical expression. What was going on?

"Not the point, Naru," he said finally. "You are not crossing the threshold."

"You are not going to stop me, Kyuubi."

"Why are you being so dam- er- utterly difficult? For once, let your family have a peace of mind. Or are you too selfish to deny us even that?"

"Kyuubi"-

"Have you taken a look at yourself, sis? I see you and sometimes I do not know the person I am looking at. Good lord, your hands were covered with dried blood when you came home." Conscious, she hid her hands behind her back. The movement did not go unnoticed. It only flared his anger more. "How am I supposed to think of this?"

"You do not understand."

"No and I do not want to begin trying, sis. I on"-

"I love you, Kyuubi but just one more chance is all I am asking," she cut in with a whisper. "Please, Kyuubi. I promise after this… never again."

"Nar"-

"Please."

He did not speak for some time, only observed her quietly. He gave a short nod and she knew she had won this battle. She thanked him with a nod of her own and left quickly towards the carriage that waited to carry her to the Uchiha manor in the most respectable manner.

Only without a chaperone.

 **-x-x-x-x-**

He let her in.

She had honestly expected him to not keep his end of the deal. Her surprise must have been quite apparent for he scoffed in amusement which, in turn, made her send a scornful glare in his direction. She was shown into the family parlor and momentarily, she was once again struck by how different it was from when Tsunade had lived there.

The walls were the same but room was not. It was much more elegant and spoke volumes about the owner of the manor.

"Welcome back, Miss Uzumaki," he said briefly, breaking her reverie. She scowled in his direction, long past trying with pleasantries. "I was not expecting you for another few hours."

"A few more hours and it would be deemed inappropriate by the society. For you see, sir, it is quite frowned upon for a lady to visit a man's home in the evening, unaccompanied." She made sure that each word was said with right amount of mock sweetness. He, however, deigned her with no response which annoyed her more.

"You misunderstand me, madam," he spoke with great patience as if dealing with an unruly child. "I merely meant to say that masters of this manor are not present at the moment."

"Oh."

He gave her a short nod and distantly, Naruto Uzumaki wondered if that was a sign of dismissal.

"Where are they?" she asked nonetheless. "I can, perhaps, wait for them."

"Wait if you must, Miss Uzumaki, for it shall be a while before my masters return," he told her. "They had gone to pay a visit to the duchess in their ancestral house."

She dreaded the answer but could not help but question. "How long have they been gone?"

"They left at the beginning of the week, I believe."

Naru was… for the lack of a better word, gobsmacked. For the span of a few seconds, she stopped breathing and stared open-mouthed at the butler. Her reaction must have stunned him too for he called for a maid to bring her tea and biscuits, even asking to add some herbs since the lady seemed paler. The lady herself swore that she truly might just topple over in shock.

Sasuke did not come because he never received her letter. It was not because he turned to hate her. Relief coursed through her in wave after wave. But once, the relief and surprise fell into rest, a faction of different sort of thoughts took over. As she sipped her tea, as gracefully as possible, she set to examining her thoughts one after another.

Since Sasuke never received her letter…

"I find it getting too late," she began slowly, purposefully after letting her gaze wander out of the nearest window. It was still light outside and if he wore a look of pure skepticism, she dutifully paid no attention to it. "I promised my brother to come home fast."

"Shall I escort you to your carriage, my lady?"

Naru resisted gritting her teeth. "No, that is not needed but I did require your assistance in a different matter." When he raised an eyebrow, she continued hastily, "A letter of mine was, by mistake, delivered to Captain Uchiha two days ago." He did not look convinced at all. "It was entirely my fault, you see, Juno, my goat was giving birth in that particular time so my lack of alertness is quite understandable. I have been wanting to retrieve my correspondence to no effect. It is dear to me and if you could recover it, I shall forever be in your debt."

She smiled what she hoped had been a genuine smile.

The more he did not speak, the worse she felt. He did not believe her.

Good God, she did not believe herself. She had told him a blatant lie. None of it made any sense.

In the end, however, he nodded and she sighed as he departed the parlor. To keep weary thoughts away, she stared around the room. It was really exquisitely done, rich but not gaudy. A touch of elegance in every little aspect from the tasteful seating arrangement to the cream colored walls. A mien of overall lightness was imparted to everything and Naru found it appealing.

"Your letter, madam."

He was hesitant, she could tell, so she snatched it before he changed his mind. "I have sent for your carriage. It will be outside in a minute."

"I thank you, sir."

She bowed quickly and dashed before he could call upon her lies. In such a rush was she that she jumped into the first carriage she saw, not even checking if it was her own.

Thus, she found herself facing a very amused Viscount and his stone faced brother she had been hoping to avoid.

Heavens above!

If only a hole could open in the earth and swallow her whole.

 **-x-x-x-x-**

Another cup of tea and a barrage of clever remarks, from the viscount that equally embarrassed and flustered her, later Miss Uzumaki wondered if she had, perhaps, committed a heinous crime in her early life to be subject to such torture now.

She was only thankful that Sasuke was not present. He was dealing with a wary Kurama who had not appreciated being on a leash for a week.

"May I as"-

"No, you may not," she cut in quickly. There was absolutely no need to confide to Itachi Uchiha since she was utterly convinced that she would not be able to lie to him.

The viscount smirked and she felt an eerie chill go down her spine. It was time to leave.

She got to her feet.

"I have extended my visit longer than I intended." She colored before adding, "It must be clear from the unplanned welcome you received, my lord."

"Your purpose of visit is"-

"It has been met, believe me, my lord."

His damned smirk was still intact and she knew she had to run before he made his move.

"It is quite late, Miss Uzumaki."

"Yes, exactly why I must go away as soon as possible."

"You also happen to be without a chaperone." What was he getting at by stating the obvious? "It is dangerous for young women to travel alone at this time."

"I do not understand"-

"My brother will be happy to accompany you."

"No!" she squealed a touch too quickly. "I do not wish to cause any trouble. Sasuke must be tired from the journey."

"He will not mind, Miss Uzumaki."

"But"-

"I insist."

Rest of the words died in her throat. He was challenging her… daring her. There was no doubt. It must have been his plan from the beginning to lure her into his trap.

And she got caught too easily.

 **-x-x-x-x-**

It is really not fair, Miss Uzumaki thought ruefully, for someone to look so pristine after travelling such a long distance. Despite having journeyed 40 miles, Sasuke managed to look barely ruffled. On close inspection, she noted that he appeared healthier somehow. The haunting look was not apparent but carefully suppressed. The pallor of his skin was back to snow-like and the bags beneath his eyes were gone.

A week at his home had done him good, she concluded.

As they walked side by side, on her request, she wondered how one was supposed to fill the silence. He was barely looking at her, making it abundantly clear that he would rather be anywhere but with her. It stung but she could not find it in herself to blame him.

"How is your mother faring?" she asked in way of initiating general conversation.

"Quite well."

His reply was clipped and brusquely dismissive. Not that she would be deterred. She prodded on.

"How are you, Mr. Uchiha?"

His aloof, obsidian gaze landed on her and she braced herself. She would not cower. No, she would not.

"Good," he answered quietly.

"And Kurama?"

"Beastly."

She grinned good naturedly, fully aware that his annoyance with the fox stemmed from the happenings earlier. "It is a good day for an outing," she remarked, continuing the flow of their talk. "Do you not think so? The weather is cool and the wind is gentle."

"Hn."

"A grunt is not considered a civilized answer, Mr. Uchiha,"she mock scolded.

"Devil take civility."

She did not stop the laugh that bubbled inside her. She was enjoying spending time with him like this. It was strangely amusing and refreshing. Most of the time she had spent with him had been spent in a whirlwind of confusion, pain, love and tears.

"Nor is cursing with a lady present."

"You are the last person I should take lessons on courtesy from, Miss Uzumaki," he bit out.

She supposed she must feel offended. On the contrary, she found this exchange too enjoyable to resist adding to it. "Much as I agree with the statement, Mr. Uchiha, hearing you speak more than three words together feels much like an accomplishment."

"It must take little to make you happy."

"One must take joy from wherever they can get," she told him sincerely.

"Hn."

"And we return to monosyllables."

For some time, they walked in silence and she observed him more. She realized with each heart beat that she loved him. She loved Sasuke Uchiha so much that it hurt unbearably.

"Why were you at the Uchiha manor?" he asked abruptly, cutting her chain of thoughts.

"It was not anything important."

He raised an elegant eyebrow and she sighed in defeat. "There was a misplaced correspondence that needed immediate retrieval."

"Your brother could not have done it?"

"Do you believe me incapable of small tasks like this, Mr. Uchiha?"

He shook his head slightly after a while and she felt pleasantly warm. Perhaps he found the lie in her words but decided to not act on it since he carried on the path to the Uzumaki house diligently.

The silence that overcame them, this time, was horrendously suffocating.

"You need not accompany me anymore, Mr. Uchiha," she said in a placating voice. "I shall manage the last stretch myself. I thank you for bringing me this far."

"I shall take you the whole way," he retorted coldly.

"You will do no such thing," she argued back. "You ought to be tired from your journey. You should go back and take a rest."

"Pray, do not give a damn for my being."

"I am afraid, I cannot help but give a damn when you have been nothing but utterly hostile since we began," she snapped furiously. "You do not like this arrangement at all and neither do I. So, pray, go home."

He turned to her so that they were facing each other. His dark eyes burned holes into her but she would not give in. She was not even sure how they came to quarrel all of a sudden.

"Know this, I have absolutely no interest in being your escort," he hissed with such cold fury that she shrank back a little. "It is on the request of my brother that I am here. Nothing more."

"You must really think highly of yourself if you believe I ever imagined otherwise."

His eyes narrowed and she took a step back, ready to run if needed. The movement seemed to have caught something in him because he stiffened and then went lax.

"Forgive me," he whispered in the quiet that followed. She shook her head, opening her mouth to reassure him but he continued even more softly, "Do not fear me. Please."

It broke her heart.

Her hands reached out to him before she could stop herself. Arms wrapped around his waist and he stiffened more as she buried her head into his chest. For how long, they stood like that she was not aware. She could only hear his heart beat, the rhythmic music, against her ears. When she eased back, she looked straight into his eyes.

"I am not afraid of you. I can never be." She smiled. "Believe me." His eyes were wide open, clearly taken aback but she hoped he had gotten her message. "Now, let us move before it gets dark, Mr. Uchiha."

He nodded slowly.

"Neglecting one's responsibilities is niggardly, you know," she said softly, still maintaining their eye contact.

"That is not t"-

"-the correct use of the word 'niggardly,' I know," she finished for him, watching how his expression changed with every word she spoke. "You have told me."

 **-x-x-x-x-x-**

 **A/N:** Hi. How have all of you been? I have been an absolutely shitty author, I know. I just have a lot of things to deal with but I am getting better. I have always said that I am going to finish this story and I will. Just trust me.

Also, thank you so much for leaving such positive responses. I love you all for that. I have read all of your reviews. I hope most of your questions are answered in this chapter.

Now, to the people who have stuck with this story from the beginning, I love you all…

This chapter is dedicated to all of you.

Thanks.

Also, If you find any mistakes, do tell me.


	21. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20**

" _As one needs happiness so have I needed love; that is the deepest need of the human spirit. And as I love you utterly, so have you now become the whole world of my spirit. It is beside and beyond anything that you can ever do for me; it lies in what you are, dear love — to me so infinitely lovely that to be near you, to see you, hear you, is now the only happiness, the only life, I know."_

– Rockwell Kent

 **-x-x-x-x-x-**

"-the correct use of the word 'niggardly,' I know," she finished for him, watching how his expression changed with every word she spoke. "You have told me."

When Sasuke was five, he had jumped into the lake close to his ancestral house in the chilly winter. He could not recall why. Swimming was a fond pastime to him. And cold, he recollected, had been particularly harsh that year. Whatever stroke of brilliance prompted him to follow through with his stupid thoughts could have probably ended with him frozen and dead.

Though he could not bring to mind the motive, he clearly remembered the feeling. It was like drowning, only so much worse and wintry. His lungs were on fire, skin unbelievably numb and icicles running through his veins- pulsing and painful. He had struggled uselessly to break the surface with heavy bones pulling him down.

Fear of death had struck him with such intensity just before he had been dragged out. He had heard voices in that minute… an eternity. Loud, shrill, sobs, and shouts… a pandemonium.

And then he was gasping; panting for air like he had never breathed before. He had blanked out after and woke in his bed. He had been taken ill with fever and had been in out of consciousness for some days before the fever had at last broken.

It was exactly like drowning, being close to the end and then being pulled out, Sasuke decided as he heard her utter the words he had lost the hopes of anyone saying ever.

He stopped moving briefly, searching her eyes for a lie. There was nothing but sincerity and he had to look away. She was staring still and he could not decide on what she was expecting from him. An epiphany?

He was tired.

Damn her!

Why must she do this to him? Was this some sort of a revenge for a past slight he did not even remember?

He did not have the strength to be built up to deceit again. To be reeled into believing that there was someone who did understand him… did love him. Was it too much to ask?

Sasuke had never experienced love. He was aware of the admiring gazes that followed him, had been inclined to enjoy it on a few occasions. He did not boast of a clean slate. He had broken a fair share of hearts. So used to taking and never giving, love had always been a laughable affair; something out of a poorly written romance novel that young ladies tended to enjoy in secret.

And the one time, he decided to give into the blasted emotion, the universe just had to mock him, have him love someone who did not exist. Make him bare his heart only to have it stepped upon and torn into a million different pieces.

He was furious… at the world, at her. But more so, at himself. How had he not seen through the treachery? Love had truly turned him into a blind idiot. He had allowed every word ever written on her letters pierce through his walls only to have his soul dragged out and blasted into smithereens. What infuriated him more was that he still wanted Mitsuki.

It drove him wild… mad.

So unbearably mad.

That is why, he believed, when she opened her mouth to speak; he raised a hand to stop her.

"Do not say a word."

She sucked in a harsh breath; the sound making him realize how close they were to each other and how alone they were. He could feel her body heat from where he was standing and for some reason, it made him nervous. The air around them was charged with some unknown emotion, like the calm before a storm.

"No," she whispered, cerulean eyes locking into obsidian ones before she continued in a determined tone, "I will not be so courageous tomorrow or in the next hour, Mr. Uchiha. You have to listen to me."

In that moment, he wished he could have told her. How much she affected him… That had he even tried, he could have never left without hearing her. Not when she had looked like she did not desire to be anywhere but with him. Just him. The thought calmed him, suppressing the fear and the hope that arose within him.

"It was on February 19, 1832, I wrote my first letter to a soldier so far away, out of nothing but a sense of gratitude, completely unaware of the consequences." She would not look away from him. He vaguely wondered if she heard the thundering in his heart or the blood rushing into his ears. "Believe me when I say, I did not expect a response but it came and I could do nothing save for write an answer." She inhaled softly, looking down momentarily. "I forced myself to accept that I did not want another response. Yet when it came, you cannot begin to imagine the sheer force of my joy."

"Stop," he begged pathetically.

"The letters meant everything to me," she prodded on, despite his protests. "Every word, every sentence… I love them with all my heart." She paused to gauge his reaction. "I lov"-

"Do not dare say it."

He had never felt more enraged before. He was burning with wrath and frustration. This woman… this damned woman!

"Sasuk"-

He's had enough. "Pray tell, Miss Uzumaki, do you find this funny?" he asked bitterly, eyes flaring with red fury. She shrunk into herself under his acrid glare and were he not shaking with rage, it could have been a vicious source of comfort. Eyes narrowed dangerously, he approached her; threat clear in each step.

"How does it feel to have made a fool out of me?" he hissed, almost spitting the words out. He was alight with such burning emotions that the only relief was throwing them at her. She needed to hear it. "To break my heart into a million different pieces every time you saw me suffering for someone who did not even exist?"

She stayed rooted to her spot, eyes darting left and right searching for an escape. Not now, he thought violently as he grabbed her roughly and pushed her against the nearest tree none too gently. She sucked in a breath at the rough treatment. He grabbed her pretty face to make sure she listened.

"Do you know how I have endured because you chose to do so?" he growled, fighting the urge to do something he might regret. She was trembling but did not attempt to break out of his embrace. Instead, she placed her hands on both sides of his face. Her hands were cold, comforting against his heated skin. Anger seeped out of his system.

"I have been horribly selfish and I know that. I was aware I was being self-centered every time I took to consideration my feelings and went on to completely disregard yours," she whispered in the space between them. Softened blue eyes held his gaze. "I was scared. Petrified, even. I could not… absolutely refused to look past my own damned self, to see you."

"You are not scared now," he remarked quietly. She shook her head with a tiny smile as her hand dropped to pull something out of her pocket.

It was a letter.

"For you," she said as his fingers closed around it.

He should not play any more of her games but he could not have stopped, had he even wanted to. So he opened it with shaking hands.

 _25 June 1835_

 _Sasuke_

 _I have spent quite a few hours wondering on how to start this letter. I still do not know. I have much to say to you… much to express and I am failing miserably in doing so._

The recognizable handwriting nearly blinded him with tears. It was really pathetic, he thought as he continued down the letter. It was really her… Mitsuki. He could see the familiar pattern of writing… the unguarded emotions. The words registered in his mind slowly.

 _I made choices for the both of us._

 _Since the beginning, it has never been about me but I made it about me._

 _This is about us._

He looked up at her as he finished reading only to find her unblinking blue eyes on him, quite unsurprisingly. "It is unsigned," he said gradually.

"You knew Mitsuki Namikaze did not exist," she answered hesitantly and did not speak for few breaths but then continued bravely, "I did not want to lie anymore. I wished for you to see me for me."

"And who exactly are you, Naruto Uzumaki?"

He had not meant to come across harshly but he could still feel her evading.

She did not falter with the response. "Except the name, whatever I wrote to you was the truth. It was all me. All my eccentricities… the animals I love… the literature I adore… my thoughts… my opinions… all of it… is me." And then, "I am sorry."

"For what?" He could not help asking. When she shot him a disdainful glare, he resisted the urge to smirk. "You have too many things to apologize for, Miss Uzumaki. Anyone would be confused."

"I am sorry for causing you so much trouble," she told him. She sighed carefully before continuing gently, "You are right, Sasuke. I do not know what you have gone through. So, tell me everything if you find me deserving. I promise to listen and hold everything close to my heart. And when time comes, we shall send them away together."

She made it sound so easy… so simple. How could he forgive her just like that? Throughout it all, he had gone mad with longing for her. He had been misled for an unbelievably long time. And her only explanation was selfishness and fear. Much as her sincerity touched him, what was he to do with the jagged corners for his defenses… his bruised heart?

He needed more than an admission of guilt.

"You think you can save me?" he asked sardonically.

"I shall not know until I try," she replied with remarkable determination.

"You do not know me outside of the letters."

"I know enough."

"Pray tell, do you know me when I do not even know myself?"

"You are being difficult on intention," she protested and he almost laughed.

"After what I have been through, I believe I deserve to be as difficult as I want," he retorted coldly.

"I am not asking you to place faith on me or accept my apology," she said wearily. "But I am not giving up on you, Sasuke." She drew in a breath before continuing slowly, "You said that you loved me… does that mean nothing anymore?"

"It means everything, Miss Uzumaki," he bit back acidly. "How do I know this is not one of your games again?"

Sasuke did not believe so but right at that moment, he only wanted her to hurt in all possible ways. It seemed his bayonet hit the mark since, she visibly winced.

"You must really have a very lowly of opinion of me, Mr. Uchiha," she said contritely. "As it is such, I do not see the point of prolonging this conversation. I shall take your leave." She made a curtsey. Blazing hells, her whole countenance became one of sadness. It pierced his heart, making it ache in a different sort of way. "I apologize once more hurting your feelings so."

She was moving away from him, one step at a time and it was worse than anything before.

Heavens above, he loved her.

"Are you giving up on me so soon, Miss Uzumaki?" he called out almost desperately.

She turned around and goodness, she was crying. Tears streaming down her face, cheeks reddened and nose scrunched up. Then she was marching towards him furiously until she stood right in front of him, finger jabbing into his chest.

"Know this, Sasuke, I might have lost today but I shall be back tomorrow. I merely need to collect myself better." She forced down a sob before glaring up at him with tear lined eyes. "Do you think it was not hard on me? Are you aware of how many sleepless nights I have spent? Do you think you were the only one to fall in love? I loved you too. Ever"-

"Past tense?" he interjected.

"Present tense, you obstinate ass," she responded. "Always."

"Good."

Sasuke could not explain what he was feeling except that it was an utterly liberating and fulfilling emotion. Just one last thing. "Why did you stop?" Her nose was running and he supposed, he should have been horrified and disgusted. Instead, he found himself pulling out his handkerchief and wiping her face gently. "Why did you send that last letter?" he urged delicately.

She did not speak, pretending to not have heard him. He waited patiently, silence stretching uncomfortably. He could sense that it was hard for her answer but heavens help him, it was much harder not knowing.

"Your confession," she mumbled softly, after a long minute, "put my feelings into perspective and it was terrifying. You were in love with Mitsuki. I could never live to the image of Mitsuki you had conjured. I could never have you, not when I had deceived you in such a wretched manner. I did not wish to be the subject of your scorn." Another sob wrecked her body as she cried, "I am so… sorry."

"I could not lie to you anymore. I could not face you… I love you so much. I am truly sorry… please forgive me."

"You told me to find you," he whispered.

"I never meant to send you that letter."

"But you did send it. You wanted me to find you."

Her already reddened cheeks colored some more. "I suppose, deep down, I must have since I am not so scatterbrained generally."

"I am glad for that momentary lapse." She was not crying with much intensity now. The only remnants were her eyes and face and the occasional hiccup. "You should not have hidden from me."

"I did not wish for you to be disappointed or hate me."

"You must really think me vain. I fell in love with the heart in the letter, not the face of the writer."

"I am peculiar," she said stubbornly.

"That you are," he said calmly. "But that is why I loved you because you were different and… unique."

"Past tense?"

He allowed himself a small smile. "Present tense. Naruto.. I l"-

She covered his mouth, shaking her head. "I am going to annoy you at all possible times. I shall drag you to all my outings. I have opinions and you must accept that I will ride a horse better than you. I can fix things with tools… and some days I will look like I belong in a stable. I shall have my flights of fancy here and there. So, when you say that you love me… you have to love all aspects of my life… everything that makes me.

Because Sasuke, I love all of you… your broken edges… your scars… your soul… everything. I do not even need a reason to love you. I just love you because, no matter what… it is you and I love you."

He was rendered speechless by tumult that her words had caused inside him. How could he have lived without her? The sheer vulnerability of her countenance was striking as it was beautiful.

"I have nightmares," he told her once she removed her hand. "Sometimes I would be doing something and I get flashes of the war. There are moments of blankness where I forget who or where I am. There are nights, I hear screaming… pained screams for help… condemning screams… crying screams. I am not even human anymore… I am a monster."

"You are not a monster, Sasuke."

"Then what am I?"

"Based on your physical features, I would conclude that you are human male."

A humorless laugh escaped him. "You do not know anything. This is useless."

She gently reached out for him as if afraid of ruffling a caged bird's feathers. "You are right. I do not know but you are not a monster," she reiterated and before he could protest she prodded on hastily, "If you were one, Kurama would have been long dead. I have dealt with a lot of animals yet none has been as troubling as Kurama. You have been absolutely patient with him, taking caring of his needs."

"I am scarred everywhere."

"Scars heal. It takes time for healing to take place. It does not happen in a day. Some scars last longer but they all heal."

"How long?"

"You have a lifetime ahead of you."

"That is too damned long."

"Fortunately, you will not be alone for the length of it."

"You are bein"-

His words abruptly got cut off by a pair of lips. She was kissing him, he realized dazedly. All thoughts dissolved to nothing and all that remained was her in that moment. Her arms wrapped around his neck while his found her waist as he pulled her impossibly closer. She molded against him and he wondered if it was a dream. As her warmth and scent engulfed him, he decided that it was real.

Much too soon she was pulling away. He almost groaned at the loss.

"I do not care, Sasuke. I am not going anywhere. I want you… just you."

This, Sasuke, realized was what must have felt like when he had been pulled out from the freezing water. Each and every sense had come alive, blood rushing through veins to bring back the warmth of life to his skin and body. Each inhale had been precious and important.

And Sasuke kissed her. Deeply. Strongly. Passionately. Trying to reach depths inside her soul that had never been touched before. She melted against him, knees buckling as he supported her.

"I love you, Naru."

He said at last.

The smile that broke on her face was worth everything he decided.

 **-x-x-x-x-x-**

 **A/N:** Okay. How was it? Did this chapter live up to everyone's expectations? Honestly, I am so nervous. I know this chapter, in particular, has been a long time coming. I wasn't exactly sure how I wanted to go about this one. I knew Sasuke would forgive Naruto but I wanted it to seem authentic and real and not rushed. Sasuke is difficult to write because I don't want him to break from the character as I express his thoughts.

Also, I was supposed to write this chapter earlier but my exams got pushed to September so I was busy.

And, thank you so much for sticking with this story for so long. It's been almost 2 years.

To everyone who left such positive reviews and messages for me, I genuinely appreciate each one of you.

To everyone wanting a happy ending, including myself, this chapter is for all of you.

Thank you.

 **-x-x-x-x-x-**

 **A/N:** If you have some ideas for the epilogue, let me know. I'll try my best to include them. (There's going to be one more chapter before the epilogue.)

Also, if you spot any grammatical errors let me know.

Much love.

Bye.


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